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Liberace: Now, Jack. I want to talk to you about doing some surgery on Scott here.
Scott: What?
Dr. Jack Startz: Fine. What would you like me to do as Scott?
Liberace: [holds up a portrait of himself] I want you to make Scott look like this. Can you do that?
Dr. Jack Startz: Oh, I see. Oh, yes. I think I can do what you want. He's gonna need a nose job and I'm going to have to restructure his cheek bones and his chin with silicone implants, but its not impossible. But first, we gotta slim him down. I have a terrific diet, the California diet, guaranteed loss fifteen pounds in four weeks.
Scott: What?
Dr. Jack Startz: Fine. What would you like me to do as Scott?
Liberace: [holds up a portrait of himself] I want you to make Scott look like this. Can you do that?
Dr. Jack Startz: Oh, I see. Oh, yes. I think I can do what you want. He's gonna need a nose job and I'm going to have to restructure his cheek bones and his chin with silicone implants, but its not impossible. But first, we gotta slim him down. I have a terrific diet, the California diet, guaranteed loss fifteen pounds in four weeks.
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Liberace: You know what? I have a great idea. Why don't you come work for me?
Scott: As what?
Liberace: Well, you can be my secretary.
Scott: I don't type.
Liberace: Hell, Scott. I can pay people to type. I need a companion, a bodyguard, someone to keep people off my back. Someone I can talk to, the way we talked tonight. You can be my right hand man. You can take care of the animals. Please, say yes, Scott.
Scott: As what?
Liberace: Well, you can be my secretary.
Scott: I don't type.
Liberace: Hell, Scott. I can pay people to type. I need a companion, a bodyguard, someone to keep people off my back. Someone I can talk to, the way we talked tonight. You can be my right hand man. You can take care of the animals. Please, say yes, Scott.
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[Scott imagines seeing Liberace performing one last time. Last lines] To dream the impossible dream. To be better far than you are. To try, when your arms are too weary. To reach the unreachable star. This is my quest to follow that star. No matter how hopeless. No matter how far. Be willing to give and there's no more to give. Be willing to die so that honor and justice may live and I know and I'll only be true to this glorious quest. My heart, shall lie peaceful and calm, when I'm laid to my rest. Thank you. Thank you. You have made me the happiest piano player who has ever lived and no matter what I still believe and always will. Too much of a good thing is wonderful.
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[to Scott] Well, this must be fate.
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[while performing the Boogie Woogie] As the next part of the Boogie Woogie is so strange that it calls for an explanation, is called a Boogie Woogie break. And when I'm playing it and, like, stop at a certain point, you're going to think I forgot the music. But I didn't forget the music; there's just no music written for that part. That's why they call it a break.
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I love it! That was terrific! Ya see, George. I told you, men do come to my concerts. Well, I really appreciate it and I know somebody else out in the audience that appreciates it too. And that's my mom. Mom, I'll tell you what. Let them hear it from you and I'll play it just for you. Okay, mom?
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I really thank you all for joining me in this Boogie Woogie, and I'd like to try a little experiment. I've been playing this Boogie Woogie at eight beats to the bar. I'd like to try playing it now at sixteen beats to the bar.