Bedazzled (1967) quotes

View Quote And the magic word: Julie Andrews!

View Quote Don't ever believe anything I've said; believe me.

View Quote Everything I've ever told you's been a lie, including that.

View Quote Tell God not to go away. I'll be back in a minute.

View Quote What terrible sins I have working for me. I suppose it's the wages.

View Quote You realize that suicide's a criminal offence. In less enlightened times, they'd have hung you for it.

View Quote George Spiggott: Everything I've ever told you has been a lie. Including that.
Stanley Moon: Including what?
George Spiggott: That everything I've ever told has been a lie. That's not true.
Stanley Moon: I don't know what to believe.
George Spiggott: Not me, Stanley, believe me!

View Quote Stanley Moon: Apart from the way He moves, what's God really like? I mean, what colour is He?
George Spiggott: He's all colours of the rainbow, many-hued.
Stanley Moon: But He is English, isn't He?
George Spiggott: Oh yes. Very upper class.

View Quote Stanley Moon: Here, my ice lolly's melted. You really must be the Devil.
George Spiggott: Incarnate. How d'you do?

View Quote Stanley Moon: I thought you were called Lucifer.
George Spiggott: I know. "The Bringer of the Light" it used to be. Sounded a bit poofy to me.

View Quote Stanley Moon: You're a nutcase! You're a bleedin' nutcase!
George Spiggott: They said the same of Jesus Christ, Freud, and Galileo.
Stanley Moon: They said it of a lot of nutcases too!
George Spiggott: You're not as stupid as you look are you, Mr. Moon?

View Quote Stanley: If you're the devil, why didn't you try that vicar over there?
George: Oh no, he's one of ours.

View Quote Stanley: What a dreary thing to do — I hope you're proud of yourself.
George: It was pride that got me into this. I used to be an angel, you know — up in heaven.
Stanley: Oh yeah, you used to be God's favourite, didn't you?
George: That's right — "I Love Lucifer" it was in those days.

View Quote [George climbs up on a London postbox.]
George Spiggott: I'm God. This is my throne, see? All around me are the cherubim, seraphim, continually crying 'Holy, holy, holy'. the angels, archangels, that sort of thing. Now you be me, Lucifer, the loveliest angel of them all.
Stanley Moon: What do I do?
George Spiggott: Well, sort of dance around praising me, mainly...
Stanley Moon: What sort of things do I say?
George Spiggott: Anything that comes into your head that's nice - how beautiful I am, how wise I am, how handsome...that sort of thing. Come on, start dancing.
Stanley Moon: You're wise!, You're beautiful! You're handsome!
George Spiggott: Thank you very much.
Stanley Moon: The universe! What a wonderful idea - take my hat off to you!
George Spiggott: Thank you.
Stanley Moon: Trees - terrific! Water - another good one!
George Spiggott: That was a good one...
Stanley Moon: Yes! Sex - top marks!
George Spiggott: Now make it more personal... a bit more fulsome please. Come on.
Stanley Moon: Immortal... invisible... you're handsome... you're glorious... you're the most beautiful person in the WORLD!
[Stanley performs a headstand, removes his hat and wipes his brow.]
Stanley Moon: Here, I'm getting a bit bored with this. Can't we change places?
George Spiggott: That's exactly how I felt.

View Quote After walking in on Stanley Moon's failed suicide attempt