Beavis and Butthead Do America quotes
53 total quotes
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Tom Anderson: What in the hell is that damn noise? [goes inside his camper and sees Beavis] What?
Beavis: Hey, how's it going?
Tom Anderson: Pull your damn pants up, boy! I don't want to see that. Damn it, get out of here!
Tom Anderson: [throws Beavis out of camper] And if I ever catch you whacking in here again, I'm gonna hogtie you.
Beavis: Hey, how's it going?
Tom Anderson: Pull your damn pants up, boy! I don't want to see that. Damn it, get out of here!
Tom Anderson: [throws Beavis out of camper] And if I ever catch you whacking in here again, I'm gonna hogtie you.
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[after apprehending Butt-head]
Agent Fleming: Agent Hurly, I want you to give this s****bag a cavity search. I'm talking Roto-Rooter. Don't stop until you reach the back of his teeth.
Agent Fleming: Agent Hurly, I want you to give this s****bag a cavity search. I'm talking Roto-Rooter. Don't stop until you reach the back of his teeth.
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[Arriving at the Hoover Dam]
Beavis: We're in Washington.
Butt-head': Yeah, yeah, we're gonna score.
Little Old Lady: Actually, son, we're at the Hoover Dam.
Beavis: No, no. We're in WASHINGTON!
Butt-head: Yeah. WE'RE GONNA SCORE NOW!
Beavis: We're in Washington.
Butt-head': Yeah, yeah, we're gonna score.
Little Old Lady: Actually, son, we're at the Hoover Dam.
Beavis: No, no. We're in WASHINGTON!
Butt-head: Yeah. WE'RE GONNA SCORE NOW!
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[checking out Chelsea Clinton]
Butt-head: Hey, baby. I noticed you have braces. I have braces too.
Butt-head: Hey, baby. I noticed you have braces. I have braces too.
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[finds a switch in Hoover Dam labeled "Master Station Control" and tries to read it]
Butt-head: Uh, Master-a... Masturbation Control? [flicks the switch several times, making the lights in Las Vegas turn on and off]
Butt-head: Hey, Beavis, check it out! I'm masturbating.
Butt-head: Uh, Master-a... Masturbation Control? [flicks the switch several times, making the lights in Las Vegas turn on and off]
Butt-head: Hey, Beavis, check it out! I'm masturbating.
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[Getting back on the bus]
Butt-head: Wait a minute. We can't leave Washington till we find that chick.
Little Old Lady: Oh, we're a long way from Washington, Bob. This is the Hoover Dam.
Beavis: Dam? Heh heh. I'll be damned.
Dallas Grimmes: You boys better show up.
Agent Flemming: Do you see what I see, Bork?
Agent Bork: I see it. I just don't get it.
Agent Flemming: You got half the state looking for you. How do you get away?
Agent Bork: Cut to power!
Agent Flemming: Damn right. Bork, we're dealing with real pros here. My opinion: terrorists. What's the scoop on that stolen unit?
Agent Bork: Well, sir, it's not good. Roll the tape. The X-5 unit is a new top-secret biological weapon - a man-made virus, the deadliest known to man. It could wipe out 5 states in 5 days. Here's what happened when it was tested on a group army recruits. Look at these guys, Chief. This thing is a veritable Doomsday device.
Agent Flemming: Jesus Jumped-Up Christ! If this were to fall into the wrong hands...
Agent Bork: It gets worse. The unit wasn't finished. It has a flaw - the casing. If hit hard enough, it could break open, releasing the virus.
Agent Flemming: OK, people, as of right now, these are the most dangerous men in America. I want these faces in front of every fed and 2-bit sheriff within a thousand miles. The orders are dead or alive. Let's just pray that nothing hits that unit.
Butt-head: Wait a minute. We can't leave Washington till we find that chick.
Little Old Lady: Oh, we're a long way from Washington, Bob. This is the Hoover Dam.
Beavis: Dam? Heh heh. I'll be damned.
Dallas Grimmes: You boys better show up.
Agent Flemming: Do you see what I see, Bork?
Agent Bork: I see it. I just don't get it.
Agent Flemming: You got half the state looking for you. How do you get away?
Agent Bork: Cut to power!
Agent Flemming: Damn right. Bork, we're dealing with real pros here. My opinion: terrorists. What's the scoop on that stolen unit?
Agent Bork: Well, sir, it's not good. Roll the tape. The X-5 unit is a new top-secret biological weapon - a man-made virus, the deadliest known to man. It could wipe out 5 states in 5 days. Here's what happened when it was tested on a group army recruits. Look at these guys, Chief. This thing is a veritable Doomsday device.
Agent Flemming: Jesus Jumped-Up Christ! If this were to fall into the wrong hands...
Agent Bork: It gets worse. The unit wasn't finished. It has a flaw - the casing. If hit hard enough, it could break open, releasing the virus.
Agent Flemming: OK, people, as of right now, these are the most dangerous men in America. I want these faces in front of every fed and 2-bit sheriff within a thousand miles. The orders are dead or alive. Let's just pray that nothing hits that unit.
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[in the trunk of Muddy's car, Butt-head finds a tire jack and begins pumping the handle]
Butt-head: Hey, Beavis, check it out. I'm jacking off.
Butt-head: Hey, Beavis, check it out. I'm jacking off.
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[noticing the open door, the stolen T.V., and the broken window]
Butt-head: Whoa. I think just figured something out, Beavis.
Beavis: What?
Butt-head: This sucks.
Beavis: Yeah. It really sucks.
Butt-head: This sucks more than anything that's ever sucked before. We must find this butt-hole that took our TV.
Butt-head: Whoa. I think just figured something out, Beavis.
Beavis: What?
Butt-head: This sucks.
Beavis: Yeah. It really sucks.
Butt-head: This sucks more than anything that's ever sucked before. We must find this butt-hole that took our TV.