N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z #

Bean (1997)

Bean (1997) quotes

20 total quotes

David Langley
General Newton
Lieutenant Brutus

View Quote [about Mr. Bean getting arrested twice] Tell him his is a butt I would dearly love to kick. And next time I will.
View Quote [at the virtual rollercoaster ride talking to David] Brace yourself!
View Quote [giving speech about the painting] Well, hello, I'm Dr. Bean, apparently. And my job is to sit and look at paintings. So, what have I learned that I can say about this painting? Well, firstly, it's quite big, which is excellent. Because if it was really small, you know, microscopic, then hardly anyone would be able to see it, which would be a tremendous shame. Secondly, and I'm getting quite near the end of this... analysis of this painting. Secondly... Why was it worth this man, here, spending fifty million of your American dollars on this portrait? And the answer is... well, this picture is worth such a lot of money, because... it's a picture of Whistler's mother. And as I've learned, by staying with my best friend, David Langley and his family, families are very important. And even though Mr. Whistler was perfectly aware that his mother was a hideous old bat who looked like she'd had a cactus lodged up her backside, he stuck with her, and even took the time to paint this amazing picture of her. It's not just a painting. It's a picture of a mad old cow who he thought the world of. And that's marvelous. Well, that's what I think anyway.
View Quote I don't know the difference between Picasso and a car crash.
View Quote I've given my life to art and from here on in, the only art I will get anywhere near are the pictures I draw on the pavement hoping passersby will throw nickels in my hat. I guess the long on the short of it: I wish I'd never been born.