Barbarella (1968) · 25 quotes
2nd most-quoted character in Barbarella (1968): in 19 of its 25 quotes
Most scenes with: Pygar (18), Great Tyrant (4), Dildano (4)
A good many dramatic situations begin with screaming.
Barbarella?
Barbarella Mr. President!
Love.
Barbarella Love.
Barbarella Just a moment — I'll slip something on.
Don't trouble yourself. This is an affair of state.
Barbarella Why would anybody want to invent a weapon?
How should I know?
Barbarella I mean, the universe has been pacified for centuries... sir.
What we know of it. The trouble is, we don't know anything about Tau Ceti or its inhabitants.
Barbarella You mean they could still be living in a primitive state of neurotic irresponsibility?
Precisely.
. . .
Barbarella Something must be done!
Yes. And you are the girl who must do it.
Barbarella Why me?!
Barbarella! I have no armies, or police... and I can't spare the Presidential Band. Besides, you're a five-star, double-rated astronavigatrix. Your mission, then.
Find Durand Durand, and use all of your incomparable talents to preserve the security of the stars.
Barbarella I'm so grateful for what you've done, I hardly know how to begin to thank you. I'm positive I can get you some sort of recompense from my government. I mean, if— if there's anything you need, or that I can do, please tell me.
Mark Hand Well, you could let me... make love to you.
Barbarella "Make love", did you say?
Mark Hand Yes!
Barbarella What do you mean? You don't even know my psychocardiogram!
Mark Hand Eh?
Barbarella Well, on Earth, for centuries, people haven't made love unless their psychocardiogram readings were in perfect confluence.
. . .
Barbarella Do you have any pills?
Mark Hand Pills?!
Barbarella Oh, never mind. I have some here.
Mark Hand Uh, b-b-uh... what is this pill?
Barbarella It's an exhaltation transference pellet, of course.
Mark Hand Hmm. I know nothing of this.
Barbarella I see. Well, on Earth, when our psychocardiogram readings are in perfect confluence, and we wish to "make love", as you call it, we take an exhaltation transference pellet, and remain like this — here, let me show you...
Barbarella ... for one minute, or until full rapport is achieved.
. . .
Mark Hand Ah! I don't care for that!
Mark Hand This! This is what I mean. This! The bed.
Barbarella That?! But nobody's done that for centuries! I mean, nobody except the very poor, who can't afford the pills and the psychocardiogram readings.
Mark Hand Why not?
Barbarella 'Cause it was proved to be distracting and a danger to maximum efficiency! And... and because it was pointless to continue it when other substitutes for ego support and self-esteem were made available.
Mark Hand And now, Barbarella... don't you agree with me? That in some things, the old-fashioned ways are best after all?
Barbarella What? Oh, that. Yes, I must admit it was rather... interesting. Still, I see what they mean by saying it's distracting.
Barbarella I'm from the planet Earth. My name is Barbarella.
But you're soft and warm! We're told that Earth beings are cold.
Barbarella Not all of us.
Hello, Pretty-Pretty.
Barbarella Hello.
Barbarella Thank you very much.
Do you want to come and play with me? For someone like you I charge nothing.
You're very pretty, Pretty-Pretty.
Barbarella My name isn't Pretty-Pretty, it's Barbarella.
Barbarella That's screaming! A good many dramatic situations begin with screaming.
Barbarella Pygar, come. Tell me what that means.
"Chamber... of Ultimate... Solution".
Barbarella I don't like the sound of that.
So, my Pretty-Pretty, we meet again.
Barbarella You! The little one-eyed wench!
You have a good memory, Pretty-Pretty. Yes, sometimes I like to go among my people. Be like them. Ordinary. "Evil", as you would call it. So... I'm your little one-eyed wench. I'm also the Great Tyrant.
Barbarella Well! That's nice.
It amuses me immensely! Now I suppose you're interested in the whereabouts and welfare of a certain party, yes?
Barbarella W— yes, I am! I'm here on the orders of the President of the Republic of Earth. I'm here to find Durand-Durand.
I'm not talking about him! I'm speaking of the angel!
Barbarella Pygar?
Yes, Pygar. He has escaped the labyrinth. Crime. He has destroyed twelve of my black guards. Crime. And he dares to deprive me of a pleasure unique in Sogo — an Earthling. Crime! Crime!
Barbarella Where is Pygar?
You want your fine-feathered friend?
Barbarella Pygar!
Amusing, isn't it, Pretty-Pretty? Don't you feel like playing?
. . .
Barbarella De-crucify the angel!
What?
Barbarella De-crucify him or I'll melt your face!
. . .
So it was a trick, was it? You should have saved your tricks for... for...
Concierge For the birds, Your Majesty?
Yes! Yes, the birds! The birds! Give her to the birds!
Barbarella This is really much too poetic a way to die!
The password — quickly!
Barbarella I don't understand!
Are you not a political prisoner?
Barbarella I don't think so.
Then you're not one of us.
Barbarella I'm from Earth.
Earth! Planet of the revolutions! W-w-will you join our cause?
Barbarella What cause? Who are you?
I-I'm Dildano, head of the revolutionary forces. This is our headquarters.
. . .
Barbarella I suppose you realize you've saved my life.
A life without cause is a life without effect.
Barbarella Well, I-I'm sure I could get you a substantial recompense from my government.
Earth woman. Shall I tell you what I would like?
Barbarella I think I know.
No! No, not like that! Like on Earth, on-on-on Ea— on Earth! The pill! I-I-I have the pill!
Barbarella But... uh... Couldn't we do it your way? I don't want to change your traditions.
She sleeps alone in a room above the Mathmos, surrounded by a wall of impenetrable energy, to which she alone has the secret key. There exists, however, a second secret key, which my agents have located, and is now in my possession. You want to discover the whereabouts of Durand Durand. I want to capture the Black Queen. You follow my meaning.
Barbarella If you really do have the second secret key... why haven't you used it already?
Ah!
Ah. Ah — ah! Because our forces have not as yet been strong enough! The capture of the Black Queen, ah... has to be associated with a military... coup! Hmm. With your weaponry and spacecraft, this can be brought about. With the Black Queen in your control, you can get her to divulge the whereabouts of Durand Durand!
Barbarella Yes, I see.
Our rendezvous point will be at 1600 hours. And our password will be... "Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch".
Barbarella You mean, the secret "Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch"?
Exactly.
The time is right! The Queen is in her Chamber of Dreams.
Barbarella What about the key?
Ah, the key.
Where?
It's invisible, of course. Only an invisible key can open an invisible wall.
Concierge I don't believe it! Wretched, wretched girl! What have you done to my Exsexive Machine?! You've undone it! You've undone me! Look! The energy cables are shrinking! You've turned them into ****s! You've— you've burned out the Exsexive Machine! You've blown all its fuses!
Barbarella My goodness!
Durand Durand I speak of the dignity... the nobility of pure evil!
. . .
Barbarella What have you done with the positronic ray?
Durand Durand Oh, so that's it.
Barbarella What does it do?
Durand Durand All persons and objects in its path are de-minimalized to the fourth level.
Barbarella You mean—
Durand Durand That's right. Replaced in the fourth dimension, irretrievably.
. . .
Durand Durand Whoever succeeds in killing her will be put immediately to a horrible death. Hence my prudence.
Durand Durand I find horrible the idea that one could do to me, that which I do to others.
Barbarella Wake up, Your Majesty! You must wake up!
Vade retro, Earth girl! I know you don't really exist.[N]
Barbarella That may be, Your Majesty, but we'd better stick to what we see.
Barbarella Where are we?
In the Mathmos, and alive!
Barbarella I can see that, but why?
It seems the Mathmos has created this bubble to protect itself from your innocence.
. . .
You are so good, you made the Mathmos vomit.
