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Bobby Funke quotes

View Quote You want to know the truth about high school? You've got to break it down into its elements. Unfortunately, at St. Donovan's, the periodic table is more crooked than a case of scoliosis. Just give me the chance and I'll set it all straight. Case in point, Spanish homework. Dame un batido de esperma" does not mean, "Take me to the airport." It means, "Give me a sperm milkshake." And 22 kids gave that as an answer in Spanish 3 last week. I'm not sure about the milkshake, but somebody is sure feeding us something sticky. Every clique on campus is copying the same damn homework. Burn-outs, pretty boys, drama-dorks, jocks, debaters, player-haters, you name it. Oh, it's big, all right. And I'm on it like pink rubber bands on your little sister's braces. The name's Bobby Funke. I write for the paper.
View Quote Their alibis were like dutch ovens - gamy, but air tight.
View Quote Mathematically, it's a percentage of your life: 4 years, 48 months, 1,461 days. High school is prom, football games, boyfriends, girlfriends, party at the rich kid's house. Fun, simple, wholesome. But it's really anything but. High school might be the least wholesome 4 years of your life. And there's nothing simple about it. High school is ugly, hard and complicated. As complicated as a conspiracy to assassinate the president. A conspiracy about to be uncovered...
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