You are not still writing that thank you note?
I'm on my last page. How do you spell "conscience"?
C-o-n-s-c-i-e-n-c-e. Look, I got Sean from the bakery to come babysit so we could go out.
I still don't feel safe leaving Spencer with someone. Could you spell that again, please?
Spencer's okay. You better finding something else to do with your free time. [to Sean] Sean, are you hungry?
[offscreen]
Yeah.
All right. We got pizza. Carol and I are going out. Sausage pepperoni. You wanna make this later for you and Spencer?
[offscreen]
Great.
[to Carol Connelly]
We are going out like people do. If you can't feel good about this break and step out a little . . .
[She struts and pumps her arms.]
. . . then I - I think you ought to have Mr. Udall send you over a psychiatrist.
[Carol replies more emotionally than she intended.]
I don't need one 'cause I know what's really going on here. I gotta finish this letter, or I'll go nuts.
Carol?
This can't be right. "Con-science"?!
[She breathes heavily, gets control, and stops herself on the brink of crying.]
Carol? What?
[She nods. Carol breaks down in tears.]
It's very weird now not feeling that stupid panic feeling inside me all the time. Without that, I just start thinking about myself, and what good does that ever get anybody? Today, on the bus, there was this adorable couple, and I felt myself giving them a dirty look. I just had no idea everything was . . .
[She makes forceful hand gestures.]
Go ahead.
. . . moving in the wrong direction. Away from a time when I remembered what it was like to have a man to anything . . . hold **** - sorry . . .
No, it's okay.
. . . hands with, for Christ's sake. And I felt almost really bad that Dr. Bettes is married. Which is probably why I make Spencer hug me more than he wants to. The poor kid doesn't have enough problems. He has to make up for his mom not getting any. Who needs these thoughts?
So, what, are you saying that you're frustrated -
Leave me be! Why are you doing this? What is it you want? I hope getting me thinking about everything that's wrong when all I want to do is not do that has some purpose. Really, Mom, what is it you want? What?
I want us to go out.
