N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z #

Inspector Fix: Out of me way! I used to be somebody important!
Lord Kelvin: Should've thrown him through a higher window. [walks down to Fix and two more officers] Get rid of this buffoon!
Fix: [fed up] Buffoon, eh? Is that the thanks I get for GOING HALFWAY AROUND THE WORLD TO STOP FOGG FOR YOU, EH?!!
[everyone gasps after hearing this]
Monique La Roche: He also sent an evil Chinese warlord to kill Phileas Fogg!
Fix: That's right! He did!
[Everyone gasps again]
Kelvin: LIES! ALL OF IT!
[everyone scoffs at this]
Kelvin: Kitchener!
Colonel Kitchener: Yes?
Kelvin: TELL THEM!
Kitchener: Uh, well...the thing of it is–
Kelvin: You mumbling moron! Salisbury, please translate Kitchener's incoherent blather.
Lord Salisbury: I...he...I... Yes, yes.
Kelvin: Rhodes!
Lord Rhodes: Uh, the thing of it is, I don't want to make a fuss about it...
[Kightener, Salisbury and Rhodes are finally fed up with Kelvin's bullying nature]
Kitchener: [steps forward] That man stuck me with quills! BUNCHES OF THEM!!
Salisbury: YES! Lord Kelvin's a bully!
Rhodes: It's true! I hate to admit it, but I'm a battered Lord.
[Everyone gasps again]
Kelvin: [scoffs] Oh, boo-hoo! So what if I did try to kill Phileas Fogg? What are you gutless peons going to do about it?! I hold all the power! I run everything! So which of you halfwits is going to stop me?! You?! You?! You?!
Young girl: The Queen!
Kelvin: The Queen? [laughs] Oh, the Queen! That inbred, antiquated, old cow!
[Queen Victoria shows up behind him, looking unamused.]
Kelvin: The only way she could stop me is if she sat on me! With her big, fat, royal bottom! [laughs again, then looks nervous] She's behind me, isn't she? [turns around and bows] Your Majesty, I have just apprehended the culprits who robbed the Bank of England.
Monique La Roche: [outraged] No, majesty, no!
Inspector Fix: [outraged] Rubbish!
[Everyone starts protesting.]
Queen Victoria: QUIET!
[Everyone stops.]
Queen Victoria: I love being able to do that. So, Lord Kelvin: unsportsmanlike conduct, attempted my arsenal for Buddhas.
Kelvin: How did you know about that?
[The Queen looks up and winks. One of Kelvin's aides, revealed to have snitched on him about his deal with General Fang, winks back and waves.]
Queen Victoria: Admit it – you've been a very naughty boy, haven't you?
[Everyone nods while Kelvin shakes his head in fear.]
Kelvin: Your Majesty, I assure you there is an explanation for all of this. What it was...I was...I was simply...
[runs away]
Queen Victoria: [scoffs] Why do they always run? Arrest him!
[Kelvin runs into several Scotland Yard officers, who place him in a police wagon.]
Kelvin: Get out of my way, you fools! UNHAND ME! DON'T YOU KNOW WHO I AM?! I'll kill you!! I'LL HAVE YOU FOR THIS, FOGG!!!
[The wagon drives away]

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