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Ash quotes

View Quote My name is Ash and I am a slave. As far as I can tell, the year is 1300 A.D and I'm being dragged to my death. It wasn't always like this, I had a normal life, once. [now Ash is in a flashback] Hardware aisle twelve, shop smart, shop S-Mart! [back to monologue] I had a wonderful girlfriend; Linda. [Flashback: Ash and Linda at the cabin] Together we drove to a small cabin in the mountains. It seems an archaeologist had come to this remote place to translate and study his latest find: Necronomicon ex Mortis, the Book of the Dead. Bound in human flesh and inked in blood, this ancient Sumarrian text contained bizarre burial rites, funerary incantations and demon resurrection passages. It was never meant for the world of the living. The book awoke something dark in the woods. [something crashes through the window of the cabin and Linda screams] It took Linda, and then it came, for me. It got into my hand and it went bad, so I lopped it off at the wrist. [Ash is seen cutting off his hand] But that didn't stop it. so It came back. Big time. [Ash gets pulled into the vortex holding onto the doorway] For God's sake! How do you stop it?!
View Quote Give me some sugar, baby.
View Quote Good... bad... I'm the guy with the gun.
View Quote Alright... who wants some?
View Quote [to the witch] Yo! She-bitch! Let's go.
View Quote [to Sheila] First you wanna kill me, now you wanna kiss me. Blow.
View Quote (sometimes for no apparent reason) Groovy.
View Quote Don't touch that please. Your primitive intellect wouldn't understand alloys and compositions and... things with molecular structures and the-
View Quote Keep your damn filthy bones outta my mouth.
View Quote Alright, you primitive screw-heads, listen up! See this? This... is my boomstick! - [continuing nonchalantly] - It's a twelve-gauge, double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt-blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right... shop smart. Shop S-Mart... You got that?!!
View Quote Now I swear the next one of you primates even touches me...
View Quote [dramatically] KLAATU... VERATA... N--... [mutters to self] necktie... nectar... nickel... it's an n-word, definitely an n-word... [dramatically] It's definitely an n-word.
View Quote Shut the door! Were you raised in a barn?! ... [mutters to self] probably was raised in a barn with all the other primitives...
View Quote It's a trick. Get an axe.
View Quote Maybe. Just maybe my boys can protect the book. Yeah, and maybe I'm a Chinese jet pilot.
View Quote Now whoa whoa whoa right there spinach chin!
View Quote That's it, go ahead and run! Run home and cry to mama!
View Quote Say hello to the twenty-first century!
View Quote Oh you little bas****! All right, I'll crush each and every last one of ya! I'll squash you so hard you'll have to look down to look up!
View Quote Sure, I could have stayed in the past. I could have even been king. But in my own way, I am king. [grabs girl close] Hail to the king, baby. [Ash kisses the girl]
View Quote Buckle up, bonehead, 'cause you're goin' for a ride.
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