Crumb You turned yourself into a comic hero?
American Splendor quotes
Page 1 of 2 Crumb 
Danielle [to Harvey]
Joyce is right. You are obsessive-compulsive.
It seemed that real, salt of the earth people like Toby and me were being co-opted by these huge corporations. We were getting held up and ridiculed as losers in the system. What can I say, it was the '80s, man.
I ain't no super hero, lady. I'm just a kid from the neighborhood, all right?
Mr. Boats Avoid the reeking herd! Shun the polluted flock! Live like that stoic bird, the eagle of the rock!" You know what that means, son?
Yeah. It's from an Elinor Hoyt Wylie poem. It means stay away from the crowds of common ordinary people and do your own thing.
Mr. Boats Nope, it means don't compromise yourself for women. Ain't gonna do you no good. Get away from them as soon as you can!
Well, I ain't got no woman now. So I'm living like the stoic bird, man.
Mr. Boats The only way to live, son.
Mattress Guy 1
So how smart is she?
Mattress Guy 2
I don't know. I guess she's about average.
Mattress Guy 1
Average? Hey, man. Average is dumb!
Hi, Harvey. We finally meet in person.
Hiya. Look, before we get started with any of this, you might as well know right off the bat. I had a vasectomy.
Harvey, go get me water and a few aspirin.
What, you got a headache?
No, but I want to avoid one.
[regarding "Revenge of the Nerds"]
Yes, I consider myself a nerd. And this movie has uplifted me.
[to Harvey]
You know, you should try believing in something bigger than yourself. It might cheer you up.
Earl Billings — Mr. Boats
Hamburgers are a safer addiction than drugs. Say no to drugs. Say yes to White Castle.
Harvey, we better skip this whole courtship thing and just get married.
I find most of American cities to be depressing in the same way.
I guess I have a lot of borderline health disorders that limit me politically when it comes to eating.
I recommend the pi?a coladas. They are excellent and very authentic tasting.
I'll have you know that I come from a very dysfunctional family. I can spot personality disorders a mile away.