I hardly know, sir. I've changed so many times since this morning, you see...
I do not see. Explain yourself.
I'm afraid I can't explain myself, sir, because I'm not myself, you know.
I do not know.
Well, I can't put it any more clearly, sir, for it isn't clear to me.
You? Who are you?
Well, don't you think you should tell me... [coughs from the smoke] Who, you are first?
Why?
Oh, dear, everything is so confusing.
It is not.
Well, it is to me.
Why?
Well, I can't remember things like I used to, and...
Recite.
Hm? Oh! Oh, yes, sir. Um, how doth the little bumblebee improve each...
Stop. That is not spoken correctically. It goes: "How-" [realizes nothing is coming out of his pipe and notices one of his set of hands grasping on the tube, clogging it; he slaps the hands to get it off the pipe; Alice giggles a bit, but the Caterpillar gives Alice a displeasing look] "How doth the little crocodile improve his shining tail. And pour the waters of the Nile, on every golden scale. How cheer- [shakes a bit. He notices one set of feet teetering on the leaf he's sitting on; he grabs them and puts them back on the leaf with a grumble; Alice giggles again] How cheerfully he seems to grin, how neatly spreads his claws. And welcomes little fishes in, with gently smiling jaws. [looks at Alice]
Well, I must say, I've never heard it that way before.
I know. I have improved it. [blows smoke in Alice's face; she coughs]
Well, if you ask me...
You? [scoffs] Who are you? [Alice coughs as her head is enveloped in smoke. Fed up with the Caterpillar's nonsense, she storms off before stopping to kick a cloud of smoke off her shoe. She turns back to face the Caterpillar and leaves, her head turned up. He notices Alice leaving] You there. Little girl, wait! Come back! I have something important to say!
Oh dear. I wonder what he wants now... [She returns to the Caterpillar, blowing a smoke arrow at a smoke target] Well?
Keep your temper.
Is that all?
No. Exactly, what is your problem?
Well, it's precisely this. I should like to be a little larger, sir.
Why?
Well, after all, three inches is such a wretched height, and...
[suddenly angry]
I am exactly three inches high, and it is a very good height, indeed! [starts smoking his hookah faster and faster until he is enveloped in black smoke]
But I'm not used to it. And you needn't shout! [she blows the cloud away as she says this, showing the Caterpillar's skin, shoes, hands, and hookah laying there] Oh, dear.
[now a butterfly]
By the way, I have a few more helpful hints. One side will make you grow taller...
One side of what?
...And the other side will make you grow shorter. [he flies away]
[equally as loud]
THE MUSHROOM, OF COURSE!
