Every audition, I would dance rings around the other girls and I'd wind up in the alley with the other rejects. Until one day, after an audition, I swiped my dance card. And on a scale of 1 to 10 they gave me for dance: 10, for looks: 3. Well. [singing] Dance 10, Looks 3, And I'm still on unemployment, Dancing for my own enjoyment, That ain't it, kid, That ain't it, kid. Dance 10, Looks: 3, Is like to die. Left the theater, And called the doctor for my appointment to buy: Tits and ass, bought myself a fancy pair, Tightened up the derriere, Did the nose with it, All that goes with it, Tits and ass, Had the bingo-bongos done, Suddenly I'm getting national tours, Tits and ass, Won't get you jobs, Unless they're yours. Didn't cost a fortune, neither, Didn't hurt my sex life, either...