ALL A B C D E F G H I J K L M
N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z #

Ehh, Phunsukh Wangdu. PROFESSOR: *Zyada maza Lene ki zarurat nahi hai. Bolo... Machine ka definition bolo. **“No need to be so happy. Define a machine.” CHANCHAD: “A machine is anything that reduces human effort. [...] Anything that simplifies work, or saves time, is a machine. It's a warm day, press a button, get a blast of air - the fan... A machine! Speak to a friend miles away. The telephone... A machine! Compute millions in seconds. The calculator... A machine! We're surrounded by machines. From a pen's nib to a pants' zip - all machines.” (Mimes zipping and unzipping pants) “Up and down in a second. Up, down, up, down…” (Students laugh) Professor: (Throws chalk nib at CHANCHAD’s head) “What is the definition?” CHANCHAD: “...I-I just gave it to you, sir.” PROFESSOR: “You'lI write this in the exam?” (Mimes zipping and unzipping pants) “Up, down, up, down, up down. Idiot! Anyone else? Yes?” SILENCER: “Sir, machines are any combination of bodies so connected that their relative motions are constrained, and by which means, force and motion may be transmitted and modified as a screw and its nut, or a lever arranged to turn about a fulcrum or a pulley about its pivot, etc., especially a construction is more or less complex consisting of a combination of moving parts, or simple mechanical elements, as wheels, levers, cams etc.” PROFESSOR: “Wonderful. Perfect. Please sit down. Thank you.” CHANCHAD: “But sir, I said the same thing, just in simple language.” PROFESSOR: “If you prefer simple language, join an Arts and Commerce college.” CHANCHAD: “But sir, one must get the meaning, too. What’s the point of blindly cramming a textbook definition -” PROFESSOR: “You think you’re smarter than the book? Write the textbook definition, mister, if you want to pass.” CHANCHAD: “But there are other books - “ PROFESSOR: “Get out!” CHANCHAD: “But sir - why?” PROFESSOR: “In simple language: out! Idiot.” (CHANCHAD stands and leaves the class of silent students. Halfway out the classroom, he turns around and begins walking back to his seat.) PROFESSOR: “Why are you back?” CHANCHAD: “I forgot something.” PROFESSOR: “What?” CHANCHAD: “Instruments that record, analyze, summarize, organize, debate and explain information; that are illustrative, non-illustrative, hard-bound, paperback, jacketed, non jacketed, with foreword, introduction, table of contents, and index; that are intended for the enIightenment, understanding, enrichment, enhancement and education of the human brain through the sensory route of vision… sometimes touch.” Professor: “What?” CHANCHAD: “Books, sir. I forgot my books.”

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