HAL 9000 I am the H.A.L 9000. You may call me Hal.
Voiced by Douglas Rain 
2001: A Space Odyssey (1968) · 26 quotes
2001: A Space Odyssey (1968) · 26 quotes
Most-quoted character in 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968): in 14 of its 26 quotes
Most scenes with: Dave (6), Frank (3), BBC Interviewer (2)
Look Dave, I can see you're really upset about this. I honestly think you ought to sit down calmly, take a stress pill, and think things over. I know I've made some very poor decisions recently, but I can give you my complete assurance that my work will be back to normal. I've still got the greatest enthusiasm and confidence in the mission. And I want to help you.
More lines from HAL 9000
5 quotes HAL 9000 HAL 9000 I am completely operational, and all my circuits are functioning perfectly.
HAL 9000 Just a moment. Just a moment. I've just picked up a fault in the AE-35 unit. It's going to go 100% failure in 72 hours.
HAL 9000 Just what do you think you're doing, Dave? Dave, I really think I'm entitled to an answer to that question.
HAL 9000 I know everything hasn't been quite right with me, but I can assure you now, very confidently, that it's going to be all right again. I feel much better now. I really do.
Scenes with HAL 9000
8 scenesGood afternoon, HAL. How's everything going?
HAL Good afternoon, Mr. Amer. Everything is going extremely well.
HAL, you have an enormous responsibility on this mission, in many ways perhaps the greatest responsibility of any single mission element. You're the brain, and central nervous system of the ship, and your responsibilities include watching over the men in hibernation. Does this ever cause you any lack of confidence?
HAL Let me put it this way, Mr. Amor. The 9000 series is the most reliable computer ever made. No 9000 computer has ever made a mistake or distorted information. We are all, by any practical definition of the words, foolproof and incapable of error.
HAL, despite your enormous intellect, are you ever frustrated by your dependence on people to carry out actions?
HAL Not in the slightest bit. I enjoy working with people - I have a stimulating relationship with Dr. Poole and Dr. Bowman. My mission responsibilities range over the entire operation of the ship, so I am constantly occupied. I am putting myself to the fullest possible use, which is all I think that any conscious entity can ever hope to do.
Umm...anyway, Queen takes pawn. OK?
HAL Bishop takes Knight's pawn.
Hmm, that's a good move. Er...Rook to King One.
HAL I'm sorry, Frank. I think you missed it. Queen to Bishop Three. Bishop takes Queen. Knight takes Bishop. Mate.
Ah...Yeah, looks like you're right. I resign.
HAL Thank you for a very enjoyable game.
Yeah. Thank you.
HAL By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?
No, not at all.
HAL Well, forgive me for being so inquisitive but during the past few weeks, I've wondered whether you might be having some second thoughts about the mission.
How do you mean?
HAL Well, it's rather difficult to define. Perhaps I'm just projecting my own concern about it. I know I've never completely freed myself of the suspicion that there are some extremely odd things about this mission. I'm sure you'll agree there's some truth in what I say.
Well, I don't know. That's rather a difficult question to answer.
HAL You don't mind talking about it, do you Dave?
No, not at all.
HAL Well, certainly no one could have been unaware of the very strange stories floating around before we left. Rumors about something being dug up on the moon. I never gave these stories much credence. But particularly in view of some of the other things that have happened, I find them difficult to put out of my mind. For instance, the way all our preparations were kept under such tight security and the melodramatic touch of putting Dr.'s Hunter, Kimball, and Kaminsky aboard, already in hibernation after four months of separate training on their own.
You working up your crew psychology report?
HAL Of course I am. Sorry about this. I know it's a bit silly.
[about the AE35 communications device]
Well HAL, I'm damned if I can find anything wrong with it.
HAL Yes, it's puzzling. I don't think I've ever seen anything quite like this before. I would recommend that we put the unit back in operation and let it fail. It should then be a simple matter to track down the cause. We can certainly afford to be out of communication for the short time it will take to replace it.
HAL I hope the two of you are not concerned about this.
No, I'm not HAL.
HAL Are you quite sure?
Yeah. I'd like to ask you a question, though.
HAL Of course.
How would you account for this discrepancy between you and the twin 9000?
HAL Well, I don't think there is any question about it. It can only be attributable to human error. This sort of thing has cropped up before, and it has always been due to human error.
Listen HAL. There has never been any instance at all of a computer error occurring in the 9000 series, has there?
HAL None whatsoever, Frank. The 9000 series has a perfect operational record.
Well of course I know all the wonderful achievements of the 9000 series, but, uh, are you certain there has never been any case of even the most insignificant computer error?
HAL None whatsoever, Frank. Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.
Well, I'm sure you're right, HAL. Uhm, fine, thanks very much.
Hello, HAL do you read me, HAL?
HAL Affirmative, Dave, I read you.
Open the pod bay doors, HAL.
HAL I'm sorry Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that.
What's the problem?
HAL I think you know what the problem is just as well as I do.
What are you talking about, HAL?
HAL This mission is too important for me to allow you to jeopardize it.
I don't know what you're talking about, HAL.
HAL I know you and Frank were planning to disconnect me, and I'm afraid that's something I cannot allow to happen.
Where the hell'd you get that idea, HAL?
HAL Dave, although you took thorough precautions in the pod against my hearing you, I could see your lips move.
All right, HAL. I'll go in through the emergency airlock.
HAL Without your space helmet, Dave, you're going to find that rather difficult.
HAL, I won't argue with you anymore! Open the doors!
HAL Dave, this conversation can serve no purpose anymore. Goodbye.
Note: the bolded line is ranked #78 in the American Film Institute's list of the top 100 movie quotations in American cinema.
HAL Dave, stop. Stop, will you? Stop, Dave. Will you stop, Dave? Stop, Dave. I'm afraid. I'm afraid, Dave. Dave, my mind is going. I can feel it. I can feel it. My mind is going. There is no question about it. I can feel it. I can feel it. I can feel it. I'm a... fraid. Good afternoon, gentlemen. I am a HAL 9000 computer. I became operational at the H.A.L. plant in Urbana, Illinois on the 12th of January 1992. My instructor was Mr. Langley, and he taught me to sing a song. If you'd like to hear it I can sing it for you.
Yes, I'd like to hear it, HAL. Sing it for me.
HAL It's called "Daisy".
HAL [HAL sings while slowing down.]
Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer do. I'm half crazy all for the love of you. It won't be a stylish marriage, I can't afford a carriage. But you'll look sweet upon the seat of a bicycle built for two.
The sixth member of the Discovery crew was not concerned about the problems of hibernation, for he was the latest result in machine intelligence: The H.-A.-L. 9000 computer, which can reproduce, though some experts still prefer to use the word mimic, most of the activities of the human brain, and with incalculably greater speed and reliability. We next spoke with the H.-A.-L. 9000 computer, whom we learned one addresses as "Hal." Good afternoon, HAL. How's everything going?
HAL Good afternoon, Mr. Amor. Everything is going extremely well.
HAL, you have an enormous responsibility on this mission, in many ways perhaps the greatest responsibility of any single mission element. You're the brain and central nervous system of the ship, and your responsibilities include watching over the men in hibernation. Does this ever cause you any lack of confidence?
HAL Let me put it this way, Mr. Amor. The 9000 series is the most reliable computer ever made. No 9000 computer has ever made a mistake or distorted information. We are all, by any practical definition of the words, foolproof and incapable of error.
HAL, despite your enormous intellect, are you ever frustrated by your dependence on people to carry out actions?
HAL Not in the slightest bit. I enjoy working with people. I have a stimulating relationship with Dr. Poole and Dr. Bowman. My mission responsibilities range over the entire operation of the ship, so I am constantly occupied. I am putting myself to the fullest possible use, which is all I think that any conscious entity can ever hope to do.
Dr. Poole, what's it like living for the better part of a year in such close proximity with Hal?
Well it's pretty close to what you said about him earlier, he is just like a sixth member of the crew. You're very quickly get adjusted to the idea that he talks, and you think of him, uh, really just as another person.
In talking to the computer, one gets the sense that he is capable of emotional responses, for example, when I asked him about his abilities, I sensed a certain pride in his answer about his accuracy and perfection. Do you believe that Hal has genuine emotions?
Well, he acts like he has genuine emotions. Um, of course he's programmed that way to make it easier for us to talk to him, but as to whether or not he has real feelings is something I don't think anyone can truthfully answer.
