Kirk Douglas movie quotes

View Quote I've done a lot of lying in my time. I've lied to men who wear belts. I've lied to men who wear suspenders. But I'd never be so stupid as to lie to a man who wears both belt and suspenders.

View Quote I can handle big news and little news. And if there's no news, I'll go out and bite a dog.

View Quote It's a good story today. Tomorrow, it'll be yesterday's news and they'll wrap a fish in it.

View Quote A dame with a rod is like a guy with a knitting needle.

View Quote [to Jeff] You'll never be happy until you square yourself.

View Quote My feelings? About ten years ago, I hid them somewhere and haven't been able to find them.

View Quote Got a whale of a tale to tell you, lads, a whale of a tale or two
'bout the flappin' fish and the girls I've loved,
On nights like this with the moon above,
A whale of a tale, and it's so true, I swear by my tattoo

View Quote There's one thing you ought to know, Professor: Nemo's cracked. I've yet to see the day you can make a deal with a mad dog. So while you're feeding him sugar, I'll be figuring a plan to muzzle him.

View Quote Captain Nemo: Mr. Land, you saved my life. Why?
Ned Land: That's a good question! Well, there's only one thing a fella can do when he's made a mistake as big as this. Get drunk.

View Quote If any soldiers in the world can take it, we'll take the Ant Hill.

View Quote [to Broulard] What would your, er, newspapers and your politicians do with that?...you are in a difficult position. Too much has happened. Someone's got to be hurt. The only question is who. General Mireau's assault on the Ant Hill failed. His order to fire on his own troops was refused. But his attempt to murder three innocent men to protect his own reputation will be prevented by the General's staff.

View Quote There are times when I am ashamed to be a member of the human race and this is one such occasion...I protest against being prevented from introducing evidence that I consider vital to the defense, the prosecution presented no witnesses, there has never been a written indictment of charges made against the defendants, and lastly, I protest against the fact that no stenographic record of this trial has been kept. The attack yesterday morning was no stain on the honor of France, but this court-martial is such a stain...Gentlemen of the court, to find these men guilty will be a crime to haunt each of you to the day you die. I can't believe that the noblest impulse in man, his compassion for another, can be completely dead here. Therefore, I humbly beg you to show mercy to these men.

View Quote Maybe there's no peace in this world, for us or for anyone else, I don't know. But I do know that, as long as we live, we must remain true to ourselves.

View Quote I am Spartacus!

View Quote I'd rather be here, a free man among brothers, facing a long march and a hard fight, than the richest citizen in Rome: fat with food he didn't work for, and surrounded by slaves.

View Quote Yes, I know who Judas was. He was a man I worked for and admired until he disgraced the four stars on his uniform.

View Quote Senator Frederick Prentice: You make me think that fruit salad on your chest is for neutrality, evasiveness, and fence-straddling.
Colonel Martin "Jiggs" Casey: On the contrary, Senator, they're standard awards for cocktail courage and dinner-table heroism. I thought you'd invented them.

View Quote Christopher Todd: This stuff you unearthed, Colonel Casey, is dynamite. Very revealing of General Scott's extracurricular love life. Any taste of victory we have in our mouths, Colonel, is due in no small measure to your efforts.
Colonel Martin "Jiggs" Casey: The taste I've got in my mouth, Mr. Secretary, is unmentionable.
Christopher Todd: I can understand that feeling, Colonel. But when you deal with a jackal like your general...
Colonel Martin "Jiggs" Casey: Mr. Todd, this is a full Air Force general. Six times wounded, wearing only half the medals he deserves. Whatever else he is, he's no jackal.
Christopher Todd: My god, the sensitivity of our warriors! Did I step on your old school tie, Colonel?
Colonel Martin "Jiggs" Casey: You're just like a lot of civilians, Mr. Todd. After every armistice, you want to put us away in mothballs, like the fleet. When it comes to a little dying...
Christopher Todd: Hold up, Colonel!
Colonel Martin "Jiggs" Casey: ...you'll be sure to put us in a uniform...
Christopher Todd: That's enough, Colonel!