Wayne's World

Wayne's World quotes

80 total quotes (ID: 622)

Garth Algar
Mikita's manager, Glen
Wayne Campbell
Wayne & Garth catch-phrases


(after being told not to play "Stairway to Heaven" at the guitar store.) No stairway? Denied!


Mikita's Manager, Glen: Anything wrong, Davy?
Davy: Yeah, I got paid today.
Glen: Yeah, I know what that's like.
Davy: No. You don't understand. They laid me off. I got one of these. (holds up pink slip)
Glen: Yeah, I know how that feels.
Davy: Know what I'd like to do?
Glen: Yeah, I know what you'd like to do. You'd like to find the guy who did it, rip his still-beating heart out of his chest and hold it in front of his face so he can see how black it is before he dies.
Davy: Actually, I was thinking of filing a grievance with the union.
Glen: Well, the world's a twisted place.

No way. Way!

Garth Algar: Hey, Mister Donut-head Man, who's trying to kill you?
Garth [as Mr. Donut-head Man]: I don't know, but he better not!

Garth Algar: Uh, Wayne?
Wayne Campbell: Yeah?
Garth: Do you ever get the feeling Benjamin's not one of us?
Wayne: Good call. It's like he wants us to be liked by everyone. I mean, Led Zeppelin didn't write tunes everybody liked. They left that to the Bee Gees.

That bass player's a babe. She makes me feel kinda funny, like when we used to climb the rope in gym class.

Okay... First I'll access the secret military spy satelite that is in geosynchronous orbit over the midwest. Then I'll ID the limo by the vanity plate "MR. BIGGG" and get his approximate position. Then I'll reposition the transmission dish on the remote truck to 17.32 degrees east, hit WESTAR-4 over the Atlantic, bounce the signal down into the Azores, up to COMSAT-6, beam it back to SATCOM-3 transponder number 137 and down on the dish on the back of Mr. Big's limo. It's almost too easy.

Let me bring you up to speed. My name is Wayne Campbell. I live in Aurora, Illinois, which is a suburb of Chicago — excellent. I've had plenty of joe-jobs, nothing I'd call a career. Let me put it this way: I have an extensive collection of nametags and hairnets. OK, so I still live with my parents, which I admit is both bogus and sad. However I do have a cable access show — and I still know how to party. But what I'd really like is to do "Wayne's World" for a living. It might happen, tsshyeah, right, and monkeys might fly out of my butt.

Terry: I love you, man.
Russell: And I love you. Because I've learned that platonic love can exist between two grown men.
Benjamin Kane: And I've learned something, too. I've learned that a flawless profile, a perfect body, the right clothes, and a great car can get you far in America, almost to the top, but it can't get you everything.

Benjamin Kane: Do you have a lawyer?
Wayne Campbell: Yes. Ahm... no. We're between lawyers right now. You see, our first lawyer screwed our affairs so bad.
Garth Algar: That's right. I walked right to that office — that's what I did — and I reached across that desk and I grabbed him by his fat head and I said "Listen, man. I'm not going to jail for YOU or for anybody!

Garth Algar: Okay, pop quiz. Cassandra is not interested in Benjamin because... A: Chicks think he's handsome, B: has cool car, C: has lots of cash, D: has no visible scars, E: does not live with parents.
Wayne Campbell: Okay, how about, F: you're a gimp.

Come in, your landing gear is down! (holding headset upside down)

(To scary ex-girlfriend after she gives him a gun rack as an "anniversary" gift) A gun rack... a gun rack. Shyeah, Right! I don't even own a gun, let alone many guns that would necessitate an entire rack. What am I gonna do... with a gun rack?

Wayne Campbell: Am I supposed to be a man, am I supposed to say it's okay, I don't mind? I don't mind. Well, I mind! I mind big-time! And you know what the worst part is? I NEVER LEARNED TO READ. (Splashing water on his face to simulate tears)
Cassandra: Is that true?
Wayne Campbell: Yes, everything except the reading part.

I say hurl. If you blow chunks and she comes back, she's yours. If you spew and she bolts, then it was never meant to be. advising Garth about his fear of vomiting if he talks to his dream girl