Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby quotes

View Quote Jean: Soon you will know what it is like to be defeated by the hands of someone who is truly better than you. As William Blake wrote, "The cut worm forgives the plow."
Ricky: Well, just let me quote the late, great, Colonel Sanders. Who said, "I'm too drunk to taste this chicken."
Jean: What has that got to do with this?
Cal: I got a message for all of them, ready? Shake...and Bake!
Ricky: What does that do, does that blow your mind? That just happened!

View Quote Jean: Do you know why I came to America, "Reecky Booby"?
Ricky: Public schools, health care systems, giant water parks, I mean, the same reason anybody comes to America.
Jean: I came here for you to beat me.
Ricky: What the hell are you talkin' about?
Jean: My husband Gregory and I wish for only that which every other couple wishes for: to retire to Stockholm and design a currency for dogs and cats to use. But before I can do that...
Ricky: That's dumb.
Jean: It's not dumb!
Ricky: It is dumb.
Jean: Why is it dumb?
Ricky: I don't know.
Jean: But before I can do that, I must be defeated by a driver who's truly better than me.
Ricky: So you're gonna lose to me on purpose?
Jean: No.
Ricky: No?
Jean: NO! I will battle you with the entirety of my heart, and you will probably lose, but maybe, juuuust maybe, you might challenge me. God needs the Devil. The Beatles needed The Rolling Stones. Even Diane Sawyer needed Katie Couric. Will you be my...Katie Couric?
Ricky: Wow. [chuckles] I feel like I'm in Highlander.
[they both laugh] Jean: What is the Highlander?
Ricky: It's a movie.
Jean: Any good?
Ricky: Very good. It won the Academy Award.
Jean: Oh? For what?
Ricky: For best movie ever made. Look, I came here to tell you one thing: Come race time tomorrow, I'm comin' for you, all right?
Jean: May God be with you.
Ricky: Yeah.
Jean: Because although today I am friendly...tomorrow...will be WAR!
Ricky: All right.

View Quote Susan: [telling Ricky why he should get back into racing] It's because it's what you love to do. It's who you were born to be. And here you sit--thinking! Well, Ricky Bobby is not a thinker. Ricky Bobby is a driver. He is a doer, and that's what you need to do. You don't need to think. You need to drive. You need speed. You need to go out there, and you need to rev your engine. You need to fire it up. You need to grab ahold of that line between speed and chaos, and you need to wrestle it to the ground like a demon cobra. And then, when the fear rises up in your belly, you use it. And you know that fear is powerful, because it has been there for billions of years! And it is good! And you use it! And you ride it; you ride it like a skeleton horse through the gates of hell, and then you win, Ricky! You WIN! And you don't win for anybody else. You win for you, you know why? Because a man takes what he wants. He takes it all. And you're a man, aren't you? Aren't you?!
Ricky: Susan, I've never heard you talk like that... Are we about to get it on? Because I'm as hard as a diamond in an ice storm right now.

View Quote Ricky: I'm really gonna open it up now! Whoo! I missed you, Mama Speed! Ricky Bobby's back!
Mr. Dennit: Wait, h--how fast is he going?
Lucius: Uh, 26 miles an hour.
Ricky: What were those things? Were those the other cars?!

View Quote Reese: Look, all I got to my name is a car, and a duffel bag full of underwear and sweet, stinky weed.
Walker: How much you sellin' that weed for, old man?

View Quote Lucius: I don't wanna rain on your parade, but that was some of the dumbest driving I have ever seen in my life.
Ricky: Thank you.
Lucius: Now, I know you won the race, but you're not gonna live forever.
Ricky: Oh, I'm not stupid, Lucius. No one lives forever. No one. But with advances in modern science, and my high level of income, I mean, it's not crazy to think I can't live to be 245, maybe 300.

View Quote Mr. Dennit: Ricky, your little obscene gesture is going to cost you 100 points. Do you know how much that costs us in sponsorship dollars?
Ricky: With all due respect, Mr. Dennit, I had no idea you'd gotten experimental surgery to have your balls removed.
Mr. Dennit: What did you just say to me?
Ricky: What? I said it with all due respect!
Mr. Dennit: Just because you say that doesn't mean you get to say whatever you want to me!
Ricky: Yes, it does!
Mr. Dennit: No, it doesn't!
Ricky: It's in the Geneva Conventions, look it up!

View Quote Help me, Oprah Winfrey!

View Quote I'm Ricky Bobby. If you don't chew Big Red, then **** you.

View Quote I sent in my application to The Real World, so I'm hoping to hear back from that. I'm putting a lot of my eggs into that basket, the MTV basket. I'm also thinking about getting a gun, and dealing crack. Being a crack dealer. Not, like, a mean crack dealer, but like... like a nice one. Kinda friendly, like, "Hey, what's up guys? You want some crack?". I'm just waiting on those two things to just kinda flesh themselves out.

View Quote Dear Lord Baby Jesus, we also like to thank you for my wife's father Chip, we hope that you can use your baby Jesus powers to heal him and his horrible leg. It smells terrible and the dogs are always bothering with it.

View Quote Look, I like the Christmas Jesus best, and I'm sayin' grace. When you say grace, you can say it to Grownup Jesus or Teenage Jesus or Bearded Jesus or whoever you want.

View Quote Dear Tiny Jesus, in your golden fleece diapers with your tiny, little fat balled up fists

View Quote Dear Eight Pound, Six Ounce, Newborn Baby Jesus, don't even know a word yet, just a little infant, so cuddly, but still omnipotent. We'd just like to thank you for all the races 've won and the $21.2 million, LOVE THAT MONEY! That I have accrued over this past season. Also due to a binding endorsement contract that stipulates I mention PowerAde at each grace, I just wanna say that PowerAde is delicious and it cools you off on a hot summer day and we look forward to PowerAde's release of mystic mountain blueberry. Thank you, for all your power and your grace, Dear Baby God, Amen

View Quote Hang on, Baby Jesus, this is gon' get bumpy!