Swingers quotes

82 total quotes (ID: 719)

Answering Machine
Mike Peters
Trent Walker

Trent: [playing a hockey video game] I wish they still had fights in this game so I could bitch-slap Wayne.
Mike: What? They don't have fighting anymore?
Trent: Doesn't that suck?
Mike: Why'd they get rid of the fighting? It was the best part of the old version.
Sue: I think kids were hittin' each other or somethin', man.
Trent: Yeah but you know what, Mike? You can make their heads bleed in this one.
Mike: Make somebody's head bleed.
Sue: No man, we're in the playoffs.
Trent: I'm gonna make Gretzky's head bleed for super fan 99 over here.

[Mike, Trent, and Sue are hanging out and Trent and Sue are playing video hockey]
Sue: This is bullshit, such bullshit!
Mike: The Kings suck in this game you should play another team.
Sue: I took the Kings to the cup.
Trent: Yea, against the computer with the offsides off.
Sue: They are a finesse team.
Trent: LA is a ****ing bitch team. OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!
[Trent bodychecks one of Sue's players]

A Cavalier. It's red. It's a red Cavalier.

All I do is stare at their mouths and wrinkle my nose, and I turn out to be a sweetheart.

Alright, fine, 'll ask her. Ma'am, where do all the high school girls hang out around here?

Daddy's gonna get her to bring a friend.

Does it have to be Goofy? I mean, I was Hamlet two years ago. Off-broadway. And I was good!

Don't worry about it, man. It's like, now I have my LA gun story. You should hear the way I tell it to the guys back home: it's an Uzi.

Eat, eat, you ****ing jackals!

Everybody steals from everybody, that's Hollywood.

Excuse me darling. I'm sorry. Wow. I want you to remember this face here, OK, this is the guy behind the guy behind the guy.

God bless him. God bless that kid!

God bless you guys.

Haven't you seen Boyz N The Hood? Now one of us is going to get shot.

How about if I wait six weeks? Tell her I was cleaning out my wallet and just happened to run into her number, I can't remember where we met. I'll ask her what she looks like and then I'll ask her if we ****ed. T, would that be the money?