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Swingers

Swingers quotes

82 total quotes

Answering Machine
Mike Peters
Rob
Sue
Trent Walker


Mike: You're gonna screw up our plan.
Trent: Baby, we're gonna get laid.
Mike: T-. Trent. Trent. I need to, ah-
[Trent hands him a condom through the door]
Mike: No, I...uh...need to use the phone.
Trent: Hold on. [Slams door]
Mike: 'm sure - they weren't in there that long.


Mike: [at a crowded bar] We're gonna go to a party in the Hills, you wanna go?
Charles: Yeah...this place is dead anyway.


Nicole: You came in and asked me for an application, and I took you and introduced you to my manager.
Mike: Must have been a while ago, 'cause I- right now I have a booking agent.

Rob: Those guys are right. You're money.
Mike: Then why won't she call?
Rob: She won't call because you left. She's got her own life to deal with and that's in New York. She's a sweet girl and I love her to pieces, but **** her, man. You got to get on with your life. You've got to let go of the past Mikey, and when you do, the future is beautiful. Alright? Look out the window. It's sunny every day here. It's like manifest destiny. Don't tell me we didn't make it. We made it. We're here. And everything that is past is prologue to this, all the shit that didn't kill us is only - ya know, all that shit... You're gonna get over it.
Mike: How did you get over it? I mean, how long did it take you?
Rob: I don't know, man. Sometimes it still hurts. I don't know, man. It's like you wake up every day and it hurts a little less, and then you wake up one day and it doesn't hurt at all. And it's like, and this might sound a little weird, but it's like you almost miss that pain.
Mike: You miss the pain?
Rob: Yeah. For the same reason you miss her... Because you lived with it for so long.

Rob: [bemoaning his audition for role of Goofy at Disney Land] Why does it have to be Goofy? Why couldn't it be Mickey? Mickey's an icon.
Mike: What do you want? You're tall. At least it's Disney.

Sue: Just because I had the balls to stand up to those guys...
Trent: Like ****in' 'House of Pain' was gonna do anything?

Sue: Pause the game.
Trent: Wait I'm gonna do my thing with the thing.

Sue: What? Come on guys I couldn't back down, that guy called me a bitch. We kept our "rep" bro.
Charles: Man, **** "rep" I got a call back tomorrow!

Trent: "You know what? You're like a big bear with claws, with fangs-"

Sue: "Big ****ing teeth, man."

Trent: "...with big ****ing teeth on you. And she's just like this little bunny, just kind of cowering in the corner-"

Sue: "Shivering!"

Trent: "Yeah, man. You got these claws, and you're staring at these claws, man, and you're thinkin' "how am I supposed to kill this bunny".

Sue: "You're pokin' at it. You're pokin' at it."

Trent: "Yeah, you're not hurting it. You're just gently battin' the bunny around. You know what I mean? The bunny's scared, Mike. The bunny's scared of you."

Sue: "And you got these ****ing claws, man."

Trent: "You got these ****ing claws and these fangs, man. And you're looking at your claws and you're lookin' at your fangs and you're thinkin' to yourself, 'I don't know what to do', man. 'I don't know how to kill the bunny. With this, I don't know how to kill the bunnies', man."

Sue: "You're like a big bear, man."



Trent: Baby, that was money! Tell me that wasn't money.
Mike: That was so demeaning.
Trent: She smiled, baby.
Mike: I can't believe what an asshole you are.
Trent: Did she, or did she not smile.
Mike: She was smiling at what an asshole you are.
Trent: She was smiling at how money I am, baby.

Trent: Back in the day this place was a real contender, but now they'll appreciate the business. Probably fall all over themselves for a couple of high class guys like me and you. You want to be fresh on the scene, right?
Mike: Yeah I know, but......
Trent: Aw, Mike. You don't want all that ****in' Pirates-of-the-Caribbean horseshit or the rock-n-roll grunge tip. Guys like you and me gotta kick it here, old school.

Trent: I'm gonna find me two waitresses here and I'm gonna pull me a Fredo.
Mike: Yeah, well they're all skanks.
Trent: What are talking about? Look at all the beautiful babies here.
Mike: The beautiful babies don't work the midnights-to-six on a Wednesday. This is the skank shift.
Trent: Look at all the beautiful honeys here.

Trent: Look, you take yourself out of the game, you start talking about puppy dogs and ice cream, of course its going to end up on the friendship tip.
Mike: I just don't think she liked me.
Trent: Baby you are so money and don't even know it.


Trent: See man, T can't roll with that, she's Business class..
Rob: Business class ?
Sue: Big butt you know, can't fly coach.
Mike: You guys are terrible.

Trent: So, what'd you think of that Dorothy girl?
Mike: The whole Judy Garland thing kinda turned me on. Does that make me some kind of fag?
Trent: No, baby, you're money.