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So I Married an Axe Murderer

So I Married an Axe Murderer quotes

38 total quotes

Charlie Mackenzie
Stuart Mackenzie




View Quote Heid, turn off the Bay City Rollers! The game's about to come on!
View Quote May Mackenzie: Harriet, why don't you come with me. I have wonderful photographs when he was a wee baby.
Stuart Mackenzie: And show her the picture of Charlie when he shit his pants at Niagra Falls.
View Quote No kidding. His head's like Sputnik. Spherical, but quite pointy in parts.
View Quote Harriet Michaels: Ralph, this is Charlie.
Ralph: It's really great to meet you.
Charlie Mackenzie: Oh no, no. It's great to meet you. Yes, yes. I love you!
[hugs her tightly out of happiness, making his towel drop]
Charlie Mackenzie: ...I'm naked, aren't I?
View Quote Charlie Mackenzie: How many people have you brutally murdered?
Harriet Michaels: Well, brutal's a subjective term. What's brutal to one person might be entirely reasonable to someone else.
View Quote We have a piper down. I repeat, a piper is down. 'S all right, he's just pissed.
View Quote Oooh, that was offsides, wasn't it? Tonight he'll cry himself to sleep... on his huge pilla!
View Quote Give your mother a kiss, or I'll kick your teeth in.
View Quote Harriet Michaels: Do you actually like haggis?
Charlie Mackenzie: No, I think it's repellent in every way. In fact, I think most Scottish cuisine is based on a dare.
View Quote Charlie Mackenzie: So Tony, what's the deal with your clothes?
Tony Giardino: What do ya mean?
Charlie Mackenzie: I mean you look like Huggy Bear from Starsky and Hutch.
Tony Giardino: What are ya talking about, I look hip!
Charlie Mackenzie: No no no no no no no, you look like an undercover cop TRYING to look hip.
Tony Giardino: I AM an undercover cop trying to look hip.
View Quote Heid! Pants! Now!
View Quote Rose Michaels: You know Harriet.
Charlie Mackenzie: Well, actually I don't.
Rose Michaels: But you did have sex with her.
Charlie Mackenzie: Hello!
View Quote [singing "Do You Think I'm Sexy" with bagpipes] If you want my body, and you think I'm sexy, c'mon baby let me know! Haggis solo!
View Quote Charlie Mackenzie: Marry me.
Harriet Michaels: No..
Charlie Mackenzie: ...Please?
View Quote Charlie Mackenzie: I don't want to lose you.
Harriet Michaels: You didn't. You rejected me.
Charlie Mackenzie: Okay, I'm un-rejecting you.