Snatch quotes

View Quote Brick Top: Pull your tongue out of my arsehole, Gary. Dogs do that. You're not a dog are ya Gary?
Gary: No, no I'm not.
Brick Top: However, you have all the characteristics of a dog, Gary... All except loyalty.
[Errol zaps Gary]
Turkish: [Narrating]It's rumored that Brick Top's favorite means of dispatch involves a stun gun, a plastic bag, a roll of tape, and a pack of hungry pigs.
Brick Top: You're a ruthless little **** Liam. I'll give ya that. But I got no time for grassers. Feed 'em to the pigs Errol... [turns to face the boxers in the ring] What the **** are you two looking at?

View Quote [On learning that Franky is making his way to a boxing match - and gambling] Avi: Did he have a case on him?
Doug the Head: Yes. He had a case.
Avi: And this schmuck is gambling? You're talking about Franky "I've got a problem with gambling" ****ing Four Fingers, Doug!
Doug the Head: Avi, I'm not telepathic.
Avi: Well you're plenty ****ing stupid, I'll give you that. Do you have any idea why they call him Franky "Four Fingers", Doug?
Doug the Head: No I have no idea.
Avi: Well because he makes stupid bets with dangerous people, and when he doesn't pay up, they give him the chop, Doug! And I'm not talking about his ****ing fore-skin either!

View Quote Listen here you ****ing fringe, if I throw a dog a bone, I don't want to know if it tastes good or not. You stop me again whilst I'm walking and I'll cut your ****ing jacobs off.

View Quote In the quiet words of the Virgin Mary... come again?

View Quote Avi: Tony.
Bullet Tooth Tony: What?
Avi: Look in the dog.
Bullet Tooth Tony: What you mean, 'Look in the dog'?
Avi: I mean, open him up.
Bullet Tooth Tony: It's not a ****ing tin of baked beans! What do you mean 'open him up'?!
Avi: You know what I mean.
Bullet Tooth Tony: [Appalled] That's a bit strong, ain't it. I don't know about this.[hesitated, but gets the dog anyway, ready with a blade]
Vinny:[speaks in disbelief]No, you can't do this.
[the squeaky toy in the dog makes the dog squeak when he's barking]
Bullet Tooth Tony: It's ****ing squeaking!!
Avi: You never heard a dog squeak before? Gimme the goddamn gun!!

View Quote 'Blagged'? Speak English to me Tony, I thought this country spawned the ****in' language and so far nobody seems to speak it.

View Quote [Tommy is buying a gun from Boris]
Boris "The Blade" Yurinov: Heavy is good, heavy is reliable. If it doesn't work, you can always hit 'em with it.
Turkish:[narrating] Boris The Blade. Or Boris The Bullet-Dodger. Bent as the Soviet sickle and hard as the hammer that crosses it. Apparently, it's just impossible to kill the bastard.

View Quote Mickey: Good dags. D'ya like dags?
Tommy: Dags?
Mickey: Dags. Ya like dags?
Mrs. O'Neil: Yeah, dags.
Tommy: Oh, dogs. Sure, I like dags. I like caravans more.

View Quote Turkish: What's happening with them sausages, Charlie?
Sausage Charlie: Five minutes, Turkish.
Turkish: [Stares at Charlie in disbelief] Hang on, it was two minutes, five minutes ago.

View Quote Franky Four Fingers: So the biblical scholars mis-translated the Hebrew word for "young woman" into the Greek word for "virgin." It was an easy mistake to make, since there is only a subtle difference in the spelling. But it was the "virgin" that caught people's attention. It's not every day a virgin conceives and bears a son. So you keep that for a couple of hundred years, and the next thing you know, you have the Holy Catholic Church. Oy vey.

View Quote [Tyrone just backed into Franky Four Fingers' van]
Tyrone: I didn't see it there.
Vinny: It's a four ton truck, Tyrone. It's not as though it's a packet of ****ing peanuts now is it?
Tyrone: It was at a funny angle.
[All three turn and look back at the van]
Vinny: It's behind you Tyrone. Whenever you reverse, things come from behind ya'.

View Quote Turkish: We've lost Gorgeous George.
Brick Top: [Motions for silence] You'll have to say that again, I don't think I heard you?
Turkish: We've lost Gorgeous George.
Brick Top: Well where'd ya lose him? He's ain't a set of car keys, is he? It's not as if he's incon-****ing-spicuous, now is it?

View Quote Ever crossed the road and looked the wrong way? and hey presto a car's nearly on ya, so what do you do? You freeze. And your life doesn't flash before your eyes, 'cause you're too ****in' scared to think - you just freeze, and pull a stupid face. The pikey didn't - why? Because he had plans on running the car over.

View Quote Turkish:[referring to their caravan/office] It's not good enough, Tommy. I want another one. And I want you to buy it for me.
Tommy: Why me?
Turkish: 'Cause you know about caravans.
Tommy: How's that then?
Turkish: You spent a summer in one, which mean's you know more than me. Here's ten grand, and it would be nice to see change. [turns towards caravan]
Tommy: What's wrong with this one?
Turkish: [pulls caravan door off trying to open it] Oh, nothing Tommy. It's tip-top. Its just I'm not sure about the colour.

View Quote Female Bookie: All bets are off.
Sol: I'm not in here to make a ****ing bet.
Female Bookie: 'Preciated, but all... bets... are... off. If all bets are off, then there can't be any money can't there?
Sol: I ain't ****ing buying that.
Female Bookie: Well that's handy, 'cause I ain't ****ing selling it. It's a fact.