Snatch 2000 quotes, page 2

Brick Top

Pull your tongue out of my arsehole, Gary. Dogs do that. You're not a dog are ya Gary?

No, no I'm not.

Brick Top

However, you have all the characteristics of a dog, Gary... All except loyalty.

Turkish

It's rumored that Brick Top's favorite means of dispatch involves a stun gun, a plastic bag, a roll of tape, and a pack of hungry pigs.

Brick Top

You're a ruthless little **** Liam. I'll give ya that. But I got no time for grassers. Feed 'em to the pigs Errol... [turns to face the boxers in the ring] What the **** are you two looking at?

'Cousin' Avi

'Blagged'? Speak English to me Tony, I thought this country spawned the ****in' language and so far nobody seems to speak it.

Avi

Did he have a case on him?

Doug the Head

Yes. He had a case.

Avi

And this schmuck is gambling? You're talking about Franky "I've got a problem with gambling" **** Four Fingers, Doug!

Doug the Head

Avi, I'm not telepathic.

Avi

Well you're plenty **** stupid, I'll give you that. Do you have any idea why they call him Franky "Four Fingers", Doug?

Doug the Head

No I have no idea.

Avi

Well because he makes stupid bets with dangerous people, and when he doesn't pay up, they give him the chop, Doug! And I'm not talking about his **** fore-skin either!

Turkish

What's happening with them sausages, Charlie?

Five minutes, Turkish.

Turkish

Hang on, it was two minutes, five minutes ago.

Avi

Tony.

Bullet Tooth Tony

What?

Avi

Look in the dog.

Bullet Tooth Tony

What you mean, 'Look in the dog'?

Avi

I mean, open him up.

Bullet Tooth Tony

It's not a **** tin of baked beans! What do you mean 'open him up'?!

Avi

You know what I mean.

Bullet Tooth Tony

That's a bit strong, ain't it. I don't know about this.[hesitated, but gets the dog anyway, ready with a blade]

Vinny

No, you can't do this.

Bullet Tooth Tony

It's **** squeaking!!

Avi

You never heard a dog squeak before? Gimme the goddamn gun!!

Brick Top

Listen here you **** fringe, if I throw a dog a bone, I don't want to know if it tastes good or not. You stop me again whilst I'm walking and I'll cut your **** jacobs off.

Boris "The Blade" Yurinov

Heavy is good, heavy is reliable. If it doesn't work, you can always hit 'em with it.

Turkish

Boris The Blade. Or Boris The Bullet-Dodger. Bent as the Soviet sickle and hard as the hammer that crosses it. Apparently, it's just impossible to kill the bastard.

Franky Four Fingers

So the biblical scholars mis-translated the Hebrew word for "young woman" into the Greek word for "virgin." It was an easy mistake to make, since there is only a subtle difference in the spelling. But it was the "virgin" that caught people's attention. It's not every day a virgin conceives and bears a son. So you keep that for a couple of hundred years, and the next thing you know, you have the Holy Catholic Church. Oy vey.

Brick Top

In the quiet words of the Virgin Mary... come again?

Mickey

Good dags. D'ya like dags?

Tommy

Dags?

Mickey

Dags. Ya like dags?

Mrs. O'Neil

Yeah, dags.

Tommy

Oh, dogs. Sure, I like dags. I like caravans more.

Tyrone

I didn't see it there.

Vinny

It's a four ton truck, Tyrone. It's not as though it's a packet of **** peanuts now is it?

Tyrone

It was at a funny angle.

Vinny

It's behind you Tyrone. Whenever you reverse, things come from behind ya'.

Turkish

We've lost Gorgeous George.

Brick Top

You'll have to say that again, I don't think I heard you?

Turkish

We've lost Gorgeous George.

Brick Top

Well where'd ya lose him? He's ain't a set of car keys, is he? It's not as if he's incon-****-spicuous, now is it?

Turkish

It's not good enough, Tommy. I want another one. And I want you to buy it for me.

Tommy

Why me?

Turkish

'Cause you know about caravans.

Tommy

How's that then?

Turkish

You spent a summer in one, which mean's you know more than me. Here's ten grand, and it would be nice to see change. [turns towards caravan]

Tommy

What's wrong with this one?

Turkish

Oh, nothing Tommy. It's tip-top. Its just I'm not sure about the colour.

Turkish

Ever crossed the road and looked the wrong way? and hey presto a car's nearly on ya, so what do you do? You freeze. And your life doesn't flash before your eyes, 'cause you're too ****in' scared to think - you just freeze, and pull a stupid face. The pikey didn't - why? Because he had plans on running the car over.

Turkish

He's left the door open.

Tommy

Shouldn't think that a good idea. Should we go in?

Turkish

I don't wanna go in there. He's a dangerous bastard. Taken too many disco biscuits in the heat of Russian disputations. He's got as many of these nuts [grabbing his nuts] as he has those nuts. [pointing to his head]

Tommy

I don't care if he's got **** hazelnuts. I want a gun that works and I'm gonna tell him.

Turkish

My God, Tommy. You certainly got those minerals. Well, come on then. Before "Zee Germans" get here. You just tell him who's in charge.

Tommy

Err, Boris.

Turkish

You certainly told him, Tommy.

Boris 'The Blade' Yurinov

..со мной? Ну что будете теперь делать? Что? (...With me? So what are you going to do now? Huh?)