Turkish quotes

Not many people are named after a plane crash.

[Voiceover] This is Tommy. He tells people he's named after a gun, but I know he's named after a famous 19th century ballet dancer.

Hurry up Tommy, before zee Germans get here.

That's Doug The Head. Everybody knows Doug The Head. If it's stones and it's stolen, he's the man to speak to. Pretends he's Jewish. Wishes he was Jewish. Even tells his family they're Jewish, but he's about as Jewish as he is a ****ing monkey. He thinks it's good for business. And in a diamond business, it is good for business.

I fail to recognise the correlation between "losing 10K", "hospitalising Gorgeous" and "a good deal".

Now, I know he looks like a fat ****er... well, he is a fat ****er... but he's dirty and he's dangerous.

[Voiceover] Boris 'the Blade', or Boris 'the Bullet Dodger'. As bent as the Soviet sickle, and as hard as the hammer that crosses it. Apparently, it's just impossible to kill the bastard.

You show me how to control a wild ****ing gypsy and I'll show you how to control an unhinged, pig-feeding gangster.

Ever crossed the road and looked the wrong way? and hey presto a car's nearly on ya, so what do you do? You freeze. And your life doesn't flash before your eyes, 'cause you're too ****in' scared to think - you just freeze, and pull a stupid face. The pikey didn't - why? Because he had plans on running the car over.

It had previously occurred to me that the pikey had taken the demise of his mother rather lightly. For every action, there is a reaction. And a Pikey reaction... is quite a ****ing thing.

Tommy persuaded me to keep the dog; I eventually agreed, as long as he took it to a vet. Couldn't stand that squeaking anymore. The vet found a squeaky toy, an undigested shoe, and an eighty-six carat diamond lodged in the dog's stomach. Lot can happen in a week. :[The dog barks] Still didn't shut it up, though.

As it turns out the sweet talking tatoo sporting pikey was a Gypsy bareknuckle boxing champion, which makes him harder than a coffin nail.

You took the ****ing jam out of my doughnut Tommy! You did!

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