Snatch quotes

View Quote [Tommy is buying a gun from Boris]
Boris "The Blade" Yurinov: Heavy is good, heavy is reliable. If it doesn't work, you can always hit 'em with it.
Turkish:[narrating] Boris The Blade. Or Boris The Bullet-Dodger. Bent as the Soviet sickle and hard as the hammer that crosses it. Apparently, it's just impossible to kill the bastard.

View Quote [after seeing Gorgeous George throw an elbow and headbutt a punching bag]
Tommy: Is he allowed to do that?
Turkish: It's an unlicensed boxing match, Tommy. It's not a tickling competition. These lads are out to hurt each other.

View Quote Turkish:[referring to their caravan/office] It's not good enough, Tommy. I want another one. And I want you to buy it for me.
Tommy: Why me?
Turkish: 'Cause you know about caravans.
Tommy: How's that then?
Turkish: You spent a summer in one, which mean's you know more than me. Here's ten grand, and it would be nice to see change. [turns towards caravan]
Tommy: What's wrong with this one?
Turkish: [pulls caravan door off trying to open it] Oh, nothing Tommy. It's tip-top. Its just I'm not sure about the colour.

View Quote Turkish: What's happening with them sausages, Charlie?
Sausage Charlie: Five minutes, Turkish.
Turkish: [Stares at Charlie in disbelief] Hang on, it was two minutes, five minutes ago.

View Quote Turkish: **** me, hold tight. What's that?
Tommy: It's me belt, Turkish.
Turkish: No, Tommy. There's a gun in your trousers. What's a gun doing in your trousers?
Tommy: It's for protection.
Turkish: Protection from what? "Zee Germans"? What's to stop it from blowing your bollocks off every time you sit down?

View Quote [In a pig farm, Brick Top is negotiating with Turkish while feeding the corpses to the pigs]
Turkish:[narrating]If you got to deal with him, just gotta make sure you don't end up owing him. 'Cause then you're in his debt. Which means, you're in his pocket. And once you're in there, you ain't ever coming out.
Brick Top: I hear he's a good fighter, so I'm gonna use him. I'll be doing you a favour, boy.
Turkish:[narrating]What he means is, I'm doing him a favour. 'Cause everybody knows nobody takes a dive in my fights, unlike his.
Brick Top: Here, Errol. I don't think he likes me. You don't like me, do you, boy?
Turkish: Don't know what you mean.
Turkish:[narrating] I do know I can't wait to get out of here. **** me, it stinks.
Brick Top: I'd like my fights to finish prompt so we can get the punters out before the authorities find out. Now play your cards right and I'll sort you out.
Turkish:[narrating]You can sort me out by showing me out. It's hard enough to make a living in a boxing world, so every now and then you gotta do something that might not agree with your principles. Basically, you have to forget you got any.
Tommy: Are they Lancashire pigs?
Brick Top: Who the ****'s talking to you, boy?
Turkish:[narrating] Oh yeah, Tommy. Brick Top loves Tommy.
Brick Top: Now don't let me down. You don't want to let me down, do you, boy?
Turkish:[pause]See you ringside.

View Quote [Doug sees four Jewish kids smoking outside his shop.]
Doug the Head: What are you doing?
Jewish Boy: [spits] It's a free country ain't it?
Doug the Head: Well it ain't a free shop is it? So **** off.

View Quote Franky Four Fingers: I have stones to sell, fat to chew, and many different men to see about many different dogs, so if I am not rushing you...
Doug the Head: Slow down, Franky, my son. When in Rome...
Franky Four Fingers: I am not in Rome, Doug. I am in a rush.

View Quote Gorgeous George: It's a campsite. A Pikey campsite.
Tommy: Ten points.
Gorgeous George: What're we doin' here?
Tommy: Buying a caravan.
Gorgeous George: Off a pack of ****in' pikeys?! What's wrong with you! This will get messy!
Tommy: Not if you're here.
Gorgeous George: Oh, you bastard! I ****in' hate pikeys!

View Quote Pikey kid: Thats a flash car, mister!
Tommy: No as flash as your bike though, is it?
Pikey kid: Who're you looking for?
Tommy: Mr O'neill.
Pikey kid: Do you want me to go and get him?
Tommy: That's a good lad.
[The kid still hasn't left]
Tommy: Are you gonna get him for me?
Pikey kid: Yeah.
Tommy: What are you waiting for?
Pikey kid: The five quid you gonna pay me.
Tommy: Well **** off. I'll find him meself.
Pikey kid: Two-fifty!
Tommy: You can have a quid.
Pikey kid: Well you're a real tight ****er, arentcha?

View Quote Turkish:[narrating] Now there was a problem with pikies or gypsies...
Mickey: What're ya doin' here? Get out of the way, man. [babbling and speaking quickly]
Turkish:[narrating]...you can't really understand much of what's being said.
Mickey: You Tommy? Come about the caravan?
Tommy: Mr. O'neill.
Mickey: ****, man. Call me Mickey.
Turkish:[narrating]He's not Irish, he's not English...
Tommy: How are ya?
Mickey: Weather's been kind, [starts babbling].
Turkish:[narrating] He just well, ya know, he's just Pikey.
[Gorgeous George gets out of the car]
Mickey: **** me! Would you just look the size of him? How big are ya? Hey kids, how big is he?
Pikey kid: Big enough man, fo sure.
Mickey: Hey Mam, come and look at the size of this fella. Bet you can box a lil' can't ya, sir. Ahh, you look lak a boxer.
Mrs O'neill: Get outta the way, Mickey. See if these fellas'd like a drink.
Tommy: Oh, I could murder one.
Mrs O'neill: Be no more murdering don' 'round ere, I don't mind telling ya.
[Gorgeous George not coming inside with them]
Mrs O'neill: Is the big fella not coming with us?
Tommy: Nah, he's minding the car.
Mrs O'neill: What's he think we are? Thieves?
Tommy: No, nothing like that, Mrs O'neill. He just likes...looking after cars.

View Quote Mickey: Good dags. D'ya like dags?
Tommy: Dags?
Mickey: Dags. Ya like dags?
Mrs. O'Neil: Yeah, dags.
Tommy: Oh, dogs. Sure, I like dags. I like caravans more.

View Quote [After the wheels have fallen off the caravan that Tommy and George have just bought from Mickey]
Mickey: The deal was you bought it like you saw it. Hey, look, I've helped you as much as I'm going to help you. See that car? Just use it, for you're not welcome anymore. You should **** off now while you still got the legs to carry you.
Gorgeous George: Nobody...
Mickey: Nobody brings a fella the size of you unless they're trying to say something without talking, right?
Tommy: Sorry, Mickey. Just give our money back and you can keep the caravan.
Mickey: Why the **** do I want a caravan that's got no ****ing wheels? You want to settle this with a fight?
Mrs. O'Neil: Over my dead body! Now, go on! Go on! I'll not have you fighting, Mickey! You know what happens when you fight.
Mickey: Get her to sit down. [Turns to face Gorgeous George] For ****'s sake! Want the money? I ain't ****ed you. I'll fight you for it. You and me.

View Quote Gorgeous George: Get back down or you will not be coming up next time.
[watches as Mickey warms up]
Gorgeous George: Oh, bollocks to you. This is sick. I'm out of here.
Mickey: You're not going anywhere, you thick lump.
[Pulls off his shirt]
Mickey: You stay until the job's done.
[Mickey kisses his good luck charm. George throws a punch. Mickey dodges, knocks out George with a clean punch to the jaw]
Turkish: [narrating] It turned out that the sweet-talking, tattoo-sporting pikey was a gypsy bare-knuckle boxing champion. Which makes him harder than a coffin nail. Right now that's the last thing on Tommy's mind. If Gorgeous doesn't wake up in the next few minutes Tommy knows he'll be buried with him. Why would the gypsies go through the trouble explaining why a man died in their campsite? Not when they can bury the pair of them and just move camp. It's not like they got social security numbers, is it? Tommy, 'The Tit', is praying. And if he isn't... he ****ing should be.

View Quote Sol: No, it's a moissanite.
Bad Boy Lincoln: A what-a-nite?
Sol: A moissanite is an artificial diamond, Lincoln. It's Mickey Mouse, mate. Spurious. Not genuine. And it's worth... **** all.