The Simpsons Movie quotes

View Quote Marge: Bart, are you drinking whiskey?
Bart: [drunk] I'm troubled.
Marge: Bart!
Bart: I promise I'll stop tomorrow.
Marge: You'll stop right now!!!
[Marge chases Bart round the room. Bart pulls out draws and jumps over the bed in an attempt to slow Marge down. He holds the whiskey flask in his mouth and tilts his head while running, eventually collapsing]
Bart: I miss Flanders. There, I said it! [passes out]

View Quote [During Homer's psychological experience]
Medicine Woman: Unless you have an epiphany, you will spend the remainder of your days alone.
Homer: Okay, epiphany, epiphany, epiphany. Ooh! Bananas are an excellent source of potassium!
[Homer gets slapped by the branches of surrounding trees]
Homer: Americans will never embrace soccer?
[Homer gets slapped twice and then lifted up]
Homer: More than two shakes and it's just playing with yourself?
[Homer gets slapped three times, punched in the gut, and kicked in the crotch; the branches then take his body apart, and the pieces (save his eyes and mouth) begin to melt]
Homer: [sadly] Oh, do whatever you want with me. I don't care about myself anymore.
[Suddenly, the pieces return to normal, and Homer's eyes and mouth are stuck back onto his head]
Medicine Woman: [offscreen] Because...?
Homer: [coming to a realisation] Because... other people are just as important as me. In fact, without them, I'm nothing! [a branch urges him to continue] In order to save myself... [smiles] I have to save Springfield! That's it! [pause] Isn't it?
[The branches reassemble him, and clap in applause]

View Quote [At the very end of the credits, the Squeaky Voiced Teen is seen in the theatre cleaning up.]
Squeaky Voiced Teen: Assistant manager isn't all it's cracked up to be! Four years of film school for this?
[The Squeaky Voiced Teen leaves. The screen fades to black and the movie finally ends.]

View Quote [flicking frantically through the Bible] This book doesn't have any answers!

View Quote [about Plopper the pig] You can't kill him if he's wearing people clothes!

View Quote [after seeing the giant glass dome being placed over Springfield] D'OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHME!!!!!

View Quote [attempting to reason with the mob while in a noose] The word 'apology' is tossed around a lot these days, but when it comes from in here-- [Homer motions towards his heart, and someone throws a circular saw at him] D'OH!

View Quote [trying to rejoin his family in their hideout] Guys? What's the secret knock again?

View Quote I dunno what to tell you, Marge! I don't think about things. I mean, I respect people who do, but... I just try to make the day not hurt until I get to crawl in next to you again.

View Quote [after his epiphany] That was the most incredible experience of my life! And now to find my family, save my town and drop ten pounds! Thank you, Boob Lady!

View Quote [whipping some dogs while using them for dog-sledding] Run! Run! [jumping from one slope to the other side] Jump! Jump! Land! Land! [while dogs are resting] Rest! Rest! [after stopping for the night] Now I know we've had a rough day, but I'm sure we can put all that behind us and-- [the dogs maul him] OOOOOOOOOOWW!!!!! AH! That's my whipping arm!! [the dogs abandon him] Oh, why does everything I whip leave me?

View Quote [shuffling through the snow while talking to himself] Must keep going! Must keep going! Oh, I can't, I can't keep going. Yes, you can! No, I can't! Oh, shut up! You shut up! No, you! No, you! No, you! Oh, real mature. How could you say that?!... Oh what's the point?

View Quote [sees Marge in the distance] Marge! Marge! [runs into a tree branch] Oh no, the "epiha-tree"! [to the tree] Hey, I did my best! What am I supposed to do?! [wind blows a leaf to the hole in the dome up top] But how am I supposed to get up there? [sun shines down on a motorcycle] Ohhhh... [places a dollar in a hole on the tree] Here, buy yourself something nice.

View Quote [Ned Flanders offers Bart cocoa] No way. Cocoa's for wusses! [Ned leaves a mug of cocoa on the windowsill and leaves. He comes back to spray whipped cream, puts a wafer in and grate hard chocolate on it, puts more whipped cream on top of the wafer, puts a marshmallow on top, uses a blowtorch to toast the marshmallow, and leaves again. Won over, Bart creeps closer, snatches the mug, moves to a distance, and takes a sip.] Oh, my God.

View Quote [singing] Lisa's got a boyfriend that she'll never see again! [gets punched in the face by Lisa]