Shrek 2 quotes
61 total quotesDialogues
Donkey
Multiple Characters
Puss in Boots
Shrek
View Quote
King: Charming! Is that you? My gosh, it's been years! When did you get back?
Prince Charming: Oh, about five minutes ago, actually. [yelling] After I endured blistering winds and scorching desert, climbed to the highest room of the tallest tower---
Fairy Godmother: Tut, tut, tut. Mummy can handle this. [yelling] He endures blistering winds and scorching desert! He climbs to the highest bloody room of the tallest bloody tower, and what does he find?! Some gender-confused wolf telling him that his princess is already married!
Prince Charming: Oh, about five minutes ago, actually. [yelling] After I endured blistering winds and scorching desert, climbed to the highest room of the tallest tower---
Fairy Godmother: Tut, tut, tut. Mummy can handle this. [yelling] He endures blistering winds and scorching desert! He climbs to the highest bloody room of the tallest bloody tower, and what does he find?! Some gender-confused wolf telling him that his princess is already married!
View Quote
King: You see, I need to have someone taken care of.
Doris: Who's the guy?
King: Well, he's not a guy, per se. Um... he's... an ogre!
Doris: Who's the guy?
King: Well, he's not a guy, per se. Um... he's... an ogre!
View Quote
Shrek: Well, well, Donkey. I know it was kind of a tender moment back there, but the purring?
Donkey: What are you talking about? I ain't purring.
Shrek: Oh, sure. What's next? A hug?
Donkey: What are you talking about? I ain't purring.
Shrek: Oh, sure. What's next? A hug?
View Quote
Donkey: [after attempting to kick Puss, who is attacking Shrek, but getting Shrek between the legs instead] Did I miss?
Shrek: Nope. You got 'em.
Shrek: Nope. You got 'em.
View Quote
Shrek: [has just discovered that King Harold hired Puss in Boots to kill him] Well... so much for "Dad's Royal Blessing."
Donkey: It ain't that bad, Shrek. I mean, almost everyone who meets you wants to kill you.
Shrek: Thanks (!)
Donkey: It ain't that bad, Shrek. I mean, almost everyone who meets you wants to kill you.
Shrek: Thanks (!)
View Quote
Shrek: Donkey, think of the saddest thing that's ever happened to you!
Donkey: Oh, man, where do I begin? Well, first there was the time that old farmer tried to sell me for some magic beans, I ain't never got over that. Then this fool went off and had a party, and he had all the guests try to pin the tail on me! Then they all got drunk, and started beating me with a stick going, "Piñata, piñata!" What is a piñata anyway?!
Donkey: Oh, man, where do I begin? Well, first there was the time that old farmer tried to sell me for some magic beans, I ain't never got over that. Then this fool went off and had a party, and he had all the guests try to pin the tail on me! Then they all got drunk, and started beating me with a stick going, "Piñata, piñata!" What is a piñata anyway?!
View Quote
Shrek: Are you up for a little quest, Donkey?
Donkey: Ah, yeah, that's more like it! Shrek and Donkey on another whirlwind adventure! [singing as he and Shrek start walking away] Ain't no stoppin' us now, whoo! / We're on the move...
Puss: Stop, ogre! I have misjudged you.
Shrek: Join the club, we have jackets.
Puss in Boots: On my honor! I am obliged to accompany you until I have saved your life, as you have spared me mine.
Donkey: Oh, I'm sorry, but the position of annoying talking animal has already been taken.
Donkey: Ah, yeah, that's more like it! Shrek and Donkey on another whirlwind adventure! [singing as he and Shrek start walking away] Ain't no stoppin' us now, whoo! / We're on the move...
Puss: Stop, ogre! I have misjudged you.
Shrek: Join the club, we have jackets.
Puss in Boots: On my honor! I am obliged to accompany you until I have saved your life, as you have spared me mine.
Donkey: Oh, I'm sorry, but the position of annoying talking animal has already been taken.
View Quote
Shrek: [to receptionist] Oh, by the way, it would be really great if the Fairy Godmother didn't know we were here. Y'know what I'm sayin', bub, huh?
Donkey: Huh?
Shrek: Huh?
Donkey: Huh? Huh? Huh?! HUH?!
Shrek: Stop it.
Receptionist: Of course. Go right in.
Donkey: Huh?
Shrek: Huh?
Donkey: Huh? Huh? Huh?! HUH?!
Shrek: Stop it.
Receptionist: Of course. Go right in.
View Quote
Fairy Godmother: A drop of desire... Oohoohoo, naughty! A pinch of passion... And just a hint of... Lust!
Shrek: Excuse me. Sorry to barge in like this, but---
Fairy Godmother: What in Grimm's name are you doing here?
Shrek: It seems that Fiona isn't exactly happy.
Fairy Godmother: And there's some question as to why that is? Let's explore that shall we? Princess Cinderella, lived happily ever after... Oh. No ogres.
Shrek: Excuse me. Sorry to barge in like this, but---
Fairy Godmother: What in Grimm's name are you doing here?
Shrek: It seems that Fiona isn't exactly happy.
Fairy Godmother: And there's some question as to why that is? Let's explore that shall we? Princess Cinderella, lived happily ever after... Oh. No ogres.
View Quote
Fairy Godmother: No, no, no, no.... You see, ogres don't live happily ever after.
Shrek: [points at her] All right, look, lady!
Fairy Godmother: Don't you point those dirty, green sausages at me!
Shrek: [points at her] All right, look, lady!
Fairy Godmother: Don't you point those dirty, green sausages at me!
View Quote
Donkey: Hey man, you wanna get your fine Corinthian footwear and your cat cheeks out of my face? Man, it stinks!
Puss: Well, you don't exactly smell like a basket of roses!
[they all look at the dozens of potions around them]
Shrek: Well, one of these has got to work.
Puss: Ah yes, boss. I was concocting this very plan. Already our minds... are becoming one...
Donkey: Woah woah woah, if we need an expert on licking ourselves, we'll give you a call.
Puss: Well, you don't exactly smell like a basket of roses!
[they all look at the dozens of potions around them]
Shrek: Well, one of these has got to work.
Puss: Ah yes, boss. I was concocting this very plan. Already our minds... are becoming one...
Donkey: Woah woah woah, if we need an expert on licking ourselves, we'll give you a call.
View Quote
Prince Charming: Mother!
Fairy Godmother: Charming, sweetheart! This isn't a good time, pumpkin. Mama's working.
Prince Charming: Whoa, what happened here?
Fairy Godmother: The ogre, that's what!
Prince Charming: What? Where is he, Mum? [draws his sword] I shall rend his head from his shoulders! I will smite him where he stands! He will rue the very day he stole my kingdom from me!
Fairy Godmother: Oh, put it away, Junior! You're still gonna be king.
Fairy Godmother: Charming, sweetheart! This isn't a good time, pumpkin. Mama's working.
Prince Charming: Whoa, what happened here?
Fairy Godmother: The ogre, that's what!
Prince Charming: What? Where is he, Mum? [draws his sword] I shall rend his head from his shoulders! I will smite him where he stands! He will rue the very day he stole my kingdom from me!
Fairy Godmother: Oh, put it away, Junior! You're still gonna be king.
View Quote
Puss: Just in case there is something wrong with the potion, allow me to take the first sip. It would be an honour to lay my life on the line for you.
Donkey: No, no, no. If there's gonna be any animal testing, I'm gonna do it. That's the best friend's job. Now gimme that potion!
[He grabs the "Happily Ever After" potion in his mouth and chugs down some of it]
Shrek: How do you feel?
Donkey: ... I don't feel any different. Do I look any different?
Puss: You still look like an ass to me.
Donkey: No, no, no. If there's gonna be any animal testing, I'm gonna do it. That's the best friend's job. Now gimme that potion!
[He grabs the "Happily Ever After" potion in his mouth and chugs down some of it]
Shrek: How do you feel?
Donkey: ... I don't feel any different. Do I look any different?
Puss: You still look like an ass to me.
View Quote
Donkey: [singing wearily] Theeee sun will come out...tomorrow... Betcha bottom...
Shrek: Bet my bottom?
Shrek: Bet my bottom?