Laney, sex is the quickest way to ruin a friendship.

My favorite part about graduating now will be dodging my student loan officer for the rest of my life. He will be in cahoots with the Columbia Record and Tape Company guy... been after my ass for years.

Its not like I had a hysterectomy . I just got fired.

There's no point to any of this. It's just a... a random lottery of meaningless tragedy and a series of near escapes. So I take pleasure in the details. You know... a quarter-pounder with cheese, those are good, the sky about ten minutes before it starts to rain, the moments where your laughter becomes a cackle... and I, I sit back and smoke my Camel Straights and I ride my own melt

I'm not going to work at The Gap for chrissake!

You look like a doily.

My goal is... I'd like a career or something.

The only thing you have to be at age 23 is yourself

It's not like its happening to me. It's like it's in a crappy show like Melrose Place.

There's no secret handshake. There's an IQ prerequisite. But there's no secret handshake.

My parents have been married for 26 years. Theyre like brother and sister at this point. She goes to the bathroom with the door open. That would be "A". And "B" that's disgusting.