Office Space quotes

View Quote The ratio of people to cake is too big.

View Quote And then Mr. Lumbergh told me to talk to payroll and payroll told me to talk to Mr. Lumbergh and and and I still haven't received my paycheck and he took my stapler, and he never brought it back and then they moved my desk to storage room B and there was garbage on it, and I really don't appreciate garbage...

View Quote I was told that I could listen, to the radio at a reasonable volume from 9 to 11... well, I... I told Bill that if, if Sandra's going to listen to her headphones while she's, while she's filing then I should be able to listen to the radio while I'm collating so I don't see why I should have to turn it down because I enjoy, listening, at a reasonable volume, from 9 to 11...

View Quote Hey, Peter, man! Check out Channel 9! Check out this chick!

View Quote Peter Gibbons: It's not just about me and my dream of doing nothing. It's about all of us. I don't know what happened to me at that hypnotherapist and, I don't know, maybe it was just shock and it's wearing off now, but when I saw that fat man keel over and die - Michael, we don't have a lot of time on this earth! We weren't meant to spend it this way. Human beings were not meant to sit in little cubicles staring at computer screens all day, filling out useless forms and listening to eight different bosses drone on about about mission statements.
Michael Bolton: I told those fudge-packers I liked Michael Bolton's music.
Peter Gibbons: Oh. That is not right, Michael.

View Quote No. No man...Shit no. I believe somebody'd get their ass kicked for sayin something like that.

View Quote Bob Porter: Looks like you've been missing a lot of work lately.
Peter Gibbons: Well, I wouldn't exactly say I've been *missing* it, Bob.

View Quote Peter Gibbons: Hey, guys.
Michael Bolton: What's up, G?
Peter Gibbons: Want to go to Chotchkie's? Get some coffee?
Samir: Oh, it's a little early.
Peter Gibbons: I gotta get outta here. I think I'm gonna lose it.
Female Temp: Uh-oh. Sounds like somebody's got a case of the Mondays.

View Quote I was told, I was told if I was late again I would be summarily dismissed...

View Quote Ahh, I'm also going to need you to go ahead and come in on Sunday, too. We've got some new people coming in and we... need to play catch-up. Thanks!

View Quote Uhhh, yeah...

View Quote We don't have a lot of time on this earth. We weren't meant to spend it this way. Human beings were not meant to sit in little cubicles staring at computer screens all day, filling out useless forms and listening to eight different bosses drone on about mission statements.

View Quote Michael Bolton: You haven't even been showing up for work, and you got to keep your job.
Peter Gibbons: Actually I'm being promoted.

View Quote Peter Gibbons: Um, the 7-Eleven, right? You take a penny from the tray.
Joanna: From the crippled children?
Peter Gibbons: No, that's the jar. I'm talking about the tray, the pennies for everybody.

View Quote Milt, we're gonna need to go ahead and move you downstairs into storage B. We have some new people coming in, and we need all the space we can get. So if you could go ahead and pack up your stuff and move it down there, that would be terrific, mmmK?