National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation

National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation quotes

57 total quotes (ID: 873)

Clark W. Griswold
Cousin Eddie
Others


Clark: Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead?
Eddie: Naw, I'm doing just fine, Clark.


Clark: I simply solved the problem. We needed a coffin... Er, a tree. There are no lots open on Christmas Eve. Lewis burned down my tree so I replaced it as best I could. VoilĂ .
Ellen: Are you okay?

Well I'm gonna park the cars and get the suit cases, and well, I'll be outside for the season.

[the newel post is wobbly so Clark cuts it off with a chain saw] Fixed the newel post.

I dedicate this house to the Griswold Family Christmas.

Can't see the line, can you Russ?

If that cat had nine lives she just spent 'em all!

[walks in with a bound and gagged Mr. Shirley tied with a big red ribbon] Ho ho ho, Merry Christmas, Clark. [to Mr. Shirley] You about ready to do some kissing?

Ellen Griswold: I don't know what to say, except it's Christmas and we're all in misery.

Ellen Griswold: Welcome to our home - what's left of it.

Aunt Bethany: [after reaching the Griswolds' house] Is this the airport Clark?

Clark: We're kicking off our fun old fashion family Christmas by heading out into the country in the old front-wheel drive sleigh to embrace the frosty majesty of the winter landscape and select that most important of Christmas symbols.
Audrey: We're not coming all the way out here just to get one of those stupid ties with Santa Clauses on it are we?
Clark: No, I have one of those at home.

Clark: Let's burn some dust here, eat my rubber!
Rusty Griswold: Dad, I think what you mean is "burn rubber" and "eat my dust".
Clark: Whatever Russ, whatever.

[Clark is looking at lingerie, as a voluptuous saleswoman approaches]
Mary: Can I help you with anything?
Clark: Oh, I was just smelling - smiling. I was just blouse - brousing.
Mary: For your wife? For your girlfriend?
Clark: Uh... huh? What happened? I, uh, heh heh. Well, I guess it just wouldn't... Oh hee hee, it wouldn't be the Christmas shopping season if the stores were any less hooter than they - HOTTER than they are. Whew. It is warm in here, isn't it?
Mary: You have your coat on.
Clark: Yes, oh do I? How'd that happen?
Mary: Because it's cold out?
Clark: Yes, Yes, it is a bit nipply out. I mean 'nippy out.' What am I saying, nipple? Ah, there is a nip in the air, though.

Clark: 'Tis the season to be merry.
Mary: That's my name.
Clark: No shit.