Meet the Parents

Meet the Parents quotes

43 total quotes (ID: 779)

Gaylord 'Greg' Focker
Jack Byrnes
Pam Byrnes


Pam: You are the most adorable, loving, sweetest man in the whole world, and I love you. And very soon my parents are gonna see that...and grow to love you too, okay?
Greg: Okay. Speaking of growing to love you--
Pam: Honey, it's late. Come on.
Greg: I know it's late. But Mr. Winky is still on Chicago time, and we both know there's only one way to make Mr. Winky go away. [Knocking] And there it is.


[Greg appears at the breakfast table in his pajamas with a bedhead.]
Linda: Oh, look, somebody had a visit from the hair fairy.
Greg: Oh, yes.
Bob: Nice 'do, nice 'do.
Pam: I'll do the intros. Greg, this is my sister, Debbie.
Greg: Hi. Nice to meet you. Oh, the bride to be. Congratulations.
Pam: And her fiance. Dr. Bob.
Bob: You can call me Bob... M.D.
Pam: These are his parents, Linda Banks.
Linda: Hi. How are you?
Greg: Nice to meet you.
Pam: And the world-famous plastic surgeon, Dr. Larry.
Larry: Whoa, now, cut that out.
Jack: You know, Greg's in medicine, too, Larry.
Larry: Oh, really? What field?
Greg: Nursing.
[Larry and Bob laugh]
Bob: That's good.
Larry: No, really. What field?
Greg: Nursing.

[About Mr. Jinx, the cat] You tried to milk him, didn't you you sick son of a bitch?

[about the lost Jinx] We're supposed to let him wander the streets without food, water or toilet?

[After Greg claims he milked a cat and could milk anything with nipples] I have nipples, Greg. Could you milk me?

[During the cellar interrogation scene] Have you ever watched...pornographic...videos?

[Greg's forgotten to change his shoes before meeting Pam] That's okay, honey. You know I can't resist a man in nurse's shoes.

[on tape] Hello, Jack. Oh, look at that. Nice Jack. Hi. What's that, Jack? What? You're a big, bad C.I.A. man, huh? Did they teach you that [karate chops in front of the camera] in the C.I.A.? They teach you that? Oh, yeah. What's that, Jack? What? Yeah, you thought Puff was just the name of the boy's magical dragon? Uh-huh. Not too quick on the uptake, huh, Jack? Why don't you ask Denny who's puffin' the magic dragon? Not onto that one, huh? Surprising for a big C.I.A. pulse detector. Ooh. Hey, hey, check my pulse on this question, Jack. Do I think you're a psycho? Yes. What? Oh, you like my little gift? What? The Jerusalem what? What? I can't hear you. Jerusalem toodle-oo-poosey, poosley-loo? What? What? Oh, you don't know shit about flowers. What's that? You want me to what? You have another question? Sure. I got one question for you. It's can you deal with that!?

All right, now look, Focker, I'm a patient man. That's what 13 months in a Vietnamese prison camp will do to you. But I will be watching you, studying your every move. And if I find that you are trying to corrupt my firstborn child, I will bring you down, baby. I will bring you down to Chinatown.

I'd better get upstairs...and pay a little visit to the shower fairy.

Jesus, Focker. It's just a game.

Sorry, folks. Had to pay a little visit to the urinal fairy.

Trust me, Greg, when you start having little Fockers running around, you'll feel the need for this type of security.