Major League quotes

View Quote Willie: [looks over Jake's shoulder and see's him reading a comic book] Moby Dick? What you reading that for?
Jake: This happens to be a masterpiece of American Literature.
Willie: [chuckles] Lynn turn you on to that?
Jake: Yeah... a long time ago.
Willie: Well listen, if we ever get out of here, me and the other guys are going to a club later on tonight. You want to come with us?
Jake: [frustrated] Oh, I can't, I got some reading to do.
Willie: [rolls his eyes] What man, you got a test or something? Jake, man why don't you just go over there and see her. Maybe she'll let you slide on a couple of these.
Jake: Well I would if I knew where she lived.
Willie: That's easy! Just tail her home from the library.
Jake: You mean sit in my car and wait for her to get out of work and then follow her? That's kind of juvenille don't you think?
Willie: [ponders it for a split second] Yeah!

View Quote Nice catch, Hayes. Don't ever ****in' do it again.

View Quote Willie Mays Hays: Vaughn, get the stewardess. I think I'm gonna need one of those little bags!
Rick Vaughn: There aren't any stewardesses.
Willie Mays Hays: [frightened]I wonder if there are any pilots!

View Quote [sliding into home plate in a tux] The American Express Card. Don't steal home without it.

View Quote We don't know where Hayes played last year, but I'm sure he did a helluva job.

View Quote Well, you can close the book on Kellner. [covers microphone with hand and turns to Monty] Thank God!

View Quote Second base... [overthrows second baseman] shit.

View Quote Tom: Stay away from her.
Jake: Suck my dick.