Love Actually

Love Actually quotes

85 total quotes (ID: 362)

Billy Mack
Colin Frissell
Daniel
Jamie
Karen
Mark
Multiple Characters
Prime Minister
Sam


Press Conference Reporter: Mr. President, has it been a good visit?
The President of the U.S.: Very satisfactory indeed. We got what we came for and our special relationship is still very special.
Press Conference Reporter: Prime Minister?
Prime Minister: I love that word "relationship". Covers all manner of sins, doesn't it? I fear that this has become a bad relationship. A relationship based on the President taking exactly what he wants and casually ignoring all those things that really matter to, erm... Britain. We may be a small country but we're a great one, too. The country of Shakespeare, Churchill, the Beatles, Sean Connery, Harry Potter. David Beckham's right foot. David Beckham's left foot, come to that. And a friend who bullies us is no longer a friend. And since bullies only respond to strength, from now onward, I will be prepared to be much stronger. And the President should be prepared for that.


Prime Minister: [having just been exposed kissing Natalie on a school stage during a student concert in front of hundreds of children and parents] Right. So, not quite as secret as we'd hoped.
Natalie: Right. What should we do?
Prime Minister: Smile. Give a little bow. Wave.

Prime Minister: Ah, hello. Is, er, Natalie in?
Natalie: [coming down stairs] Where the **** is my ****ing coat?
[sees Prime Minister]
Natalie: Oh, hello.
Prime Minister: Hello.

Prime Minister: Hello, does Natalie live here?
Harris Street little girl: No she doesn't.
Prime Minister: Oh dear. OK.
Harris Street little girl: Are you singing carols?
Prime Minister: Er, no. No, I'm not.
Harris Street little girls: Please, sir, please. Please.
Prime Minister: Well, I suppose I could.
Harris Street little girl: Please.
Prime Minister: All right.
[pause]
Prime Minister, PM's chauffeur, Terry: [singing] Good King Wenceslas looked out, on the Feast of Stephen / When the snow lay round about, deep and crisp and even / Brightly shone the moon that night, though the frost was cruel / When a poor man came in sight, gathering winter fuel.
[Little girl and her friends dance and cheer]
Prime Minister, PM's chauffeur, Terry: Thank you. Merry Christmas.
[Girl shuts door]

Prime Minister: I'm not so sure politics and dating really go together.
The President: Really? I never found that.
Prime Minister: Yes, well, the difference is that you're sickeningly handsome whereas I look increasingly like my Aunt Mildred.

Radio DJ: [on the phone] Hi, Billy!
Billy Mack: Hello.
Radio DJ: We're live across the country, and you're number one!
[Billy laughs]
Radio DJ: How will you be celebrating?
Billy Mack: I don't know. Uh, either I could behave like a real rock-and-roll loser, and get drunk with my fat manager, or when I hang up I'll be bombarded with invitations to a large number of glamorous parties.
Radio DJ: Let's hope it's the second, Billy. And here it is again, Number One by Billy Mack, it's "Christmas Is All Around."
Billy Mack: Oh, Jesus, not that crap again! [laughs]

Sam: By the way, I feel bad. I never asked you how your love life is going.
Daniel: [mock chuckles] No. As you know, that was a done deal long ago. Unless, of course, Claudia Schiffer calls, in which case I want you out of the house straight away, you wee motherless mongrel.
Sam: Oh?
Daniel: No, no, we'll want to have sex in every room. Including yours.

Sam: Daniel, I have a plan!
Daniel: Thank the Lord! Tell me.
Sam: Well, girls love musicians, don't they?
Daniel: Uh-huh.
Sam: Even the really weird ones get girlfriends.
Daniel: That's right. Meatloaf definitely got laid at least once. For God's sake, Ringo Starr married a Bond girl!
Sam: [looks at him strangely] Whatever. There's a big concert at the end of the term, and Joanna's going to be in it. I thought, if I was in the concert, and played really, really well, there's a chance she might fall in love with me. What do you think?
Daniel: I think it's brilliant! It's stellar! Uh, apart from the one little, obvious, tiny, little baby hiccup...
Sam: That I don't play a musical instrument.
Daniel: Yessir.
Sam: A tiny, insignificant detail.

Sarah: [about Peter] Do you love him?
Mark: What?
Sarah: I just thought I'd ask the blunt question in case it was the right one and you needed someone to talk to about it.

Stacey, American Dreamgirl: [points to beer bottle] How do you say this one?
Colin: [in a thick accent] Uh, Bottle.
Stacey, American Dreamgirl, Jeannie, American Angel, Carol-Anne, American Goddess: [giggling, mimicking accent] BOHT-el!
Jeannie, American Angel: [points to straw] How 'bout this?
Colin: [in a thick accent] Straw.
Stacey, American Dreamgirl, Jeannie, American Angel, Carol-Anne, American Goddess': [mimicking accent] Strohw!
Carol-Anne, American Goddess: [points to table] And this?
Colin: Table.
Stacey, American Dreamgirl, Jeannie, American Angel, Carol-Anne, American Goddess: [starting to repeat] Tab - Oh, the same. It's the same.
[Colin nods apologetically]

[At the altar, just before Peter is married]
Peter: No surprises?
Mark: No surprises.
Peter: Not like the stag night?
Mark: Unlike the stag night.
Peter: Do you admit the Brazilian prostitutes were a mistake?
Mark: I do.
Peter: And it would have been much better if they'd not turned out to be men?
Mark: That is true.

[Aurelia jumps into the lake with hardly any clothes on to save Jamie's book, which has blown in]
Jamie: Oh God, she's in. And now she'll think I'm a total spaz if I don't go in too.
[takes off his sweater]
Aurelia: [in Portuguese] ****. It's cold.
[Jamie falls in]
Jamie: ****. It's freezing! ****!
Aurelia: [in Portuguese] This stuff better be good.
Jamie: It's not worth it you know, this isn't bloody Shakespeare.
Aurelia: [in Portuguese] I don't want to drown saving some shit my grandmother could have written.
Jamie: Just stop, stop.
Aurelia: [in Portuguese] What kind of idiot doesn't make copies?
Jamie: I really must do copies.
[pause]
Jamie: You know, there'd better not be eels in here. I can't stand eels.
Aurelia: [in Portuguese] Try not to disturb the eels.
Jamie: [screams in shock because of the eels] Oh God, what the hell is that?

[Aurelia meets Juliet, Mark, and Peter in the airport]
Aurelia: Jaime's friends are so good looking! He never tells me this. I think now, maybe I make the wrong choice, pick wrong Englishman?
Jamie: She can't speak English properly, she doesn't know what she's saying.

[Natalie runs up to the Prime Minister at the airport and leaps into his arms]
Prime Minister: God, you weigh a lot!
Natalie: Oh, shut your face!

[The new Prime Minister has just arrived in Number Ten Downing Street]
Annie: Would you like to meet your household staff?
Prime Minister: Yes, I would like that very much indeed. Anything to put off actually running the country.