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Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels

Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels quotes

69 total quotes

Bacon
Barry the Baptist
Eddie
Multiple Characters
Rory Breaker
Soap
Tom




View Quote If the milk turns out to be sour, I ain't the kinda pussy to drink it.
View Quote (to Dog holding up a gun)Bend over the ****ing desk!
View Quote Barry the Baptist: ****ing northern monkeys!
Gary: I hate these ****ing southern fairies!
View Quote Bacon: What's that?
Samoan Joe's Barman: It's a ****tail. You asked for a ****tail.
Bacon: No. I asked you to give me a refreshing drink! I didn't expect a ****ing rainforest! You could fall in love with an orangutan in there! Bring me a pint.
Samoan Joe's Barman: You want a pint, you go to the pub.
Bacon: I thought this was a pub!
Samoan Joes Barman: It's a Samoan pub.
View Quote Is this some white ****s' joke that black ****s don't get? 'Cause I'm not ****ing laughing Nicholas (comically pronounced Nee-Cole-Us).
View Quote When you dance with the devil, you wait for the song to stop.
View Quote Hello boy, feeling a bit poorly? I know your friends are responsible for most of the cash so I'm gonna give you one week to find it. Otherwise I will take a finger of each of you and your friends' hands for everyday that passes without payment. And then when you run out of digits, your dad's bar and who knows what then. All right, my son?
View Quote Big Chris: It's been emotional.
View Quote Big Chris: All right, son: roll them guns up, count the money, and put your seat belt on.
View Quote Winston: Charles, get the rifle out. We're being ****ed.
View Quote The entire British Empire was built on cups of tea, and if you think I'm going to war without one, mate you're mistaken.
View Quote (To Tom about the guns) So, the only thing connecting us to the case, is in the back of your car which is parked outside?!
View Quote I ****ing hate traffic wardens
View Quote Anyway, **** it. The battle is over and the war is won.
View Quote No, **** that. You can think about it. I am panicking and I'm off.