Little Nicky

Little Nicky quotes

37 total quotes (ID: 349)

Tag lines

Peeper: I think Victoria just told me her Secret.
Blind deacon: [after sensing Nicky's presence] You make the Lord very nervous.
Cardinal: In today's gospel, the Lord tells us how we should live if we wish to obtain the splendor of heaven...or something like that. Jesus this, Moses that, Abraham hit me with a wiffle ball bat.
Basketball audience member: Now that was some straight up David Copperfield shit!
Townie: You can do it, Nicky! Kick him in his hairy balls!
Todd: [after hearing Mr. Beefy singing in his sleep] That is the most horrifying thing I have ever seen.

John: Hey Nicky, Check this out! (spins Ozzy record backwards, just noise) What's Ozzy trying to say?
Nicky: John, absolutely nothing. The Blizard always came straight with his messages. But wrap your minds around this gentlemen. [gets "Chicago" record] "Chicago".
[Nicky plays the "Chicago" album normal]
Todd: I love this song.
[Nicky spins a "Chicago" album backwards]
Voice: I command you, in the name of Lucifer, to spill the blood of the innocent!
Peter: Oh my God, "Chicago" kicks ass!

How about this. I'll stay here enjoy my pizza & my peppermint schnapps & YOU Go back.

Woman: The lord gave my son the strength to get off drugs!
Cardinal: Ma'am I know your son, and believe me, he was better off on the drugs. At least when he was smoking hash he used to make me laugh occasionally.

Jimmy the demon: You were gone ten seconds. What happened?
Nicky: I got hit by a big light that was attached to a lot of metal.
Satan:That's a train, son. Don't stand in front of them.
Nicky: Well, I guess I'm going to have to take a mulligan on this one.

Nicky: Good luck with the nipple rubbing..
Nipples: I don't need luck. I'm good!

Todd: Aren't you boiling hot in that outfit?
Nicky: No.
Todd: It's like eighty degrees in this hallway. Where you from? The South?
Nicky: Yes. The deep South. Hahahaha!
Todd: Why is that funny?
Nicky: I don't know.

Popeye's employee: May I help you?
Nicky: Get in the flask!
Popeye's employee: What are you talking about, man?
Nicky: ...I'm talking about an..eight piece meal. Let's go.

[NFL quarterback Dan Marino tries to strike a bargain with Satan.]
Satan: I'm sorry. After careful consideration, I regretfully have to decline.
Dan Marino: C'mon, man, I'm just asking — let me win one Super Bowl.
Satan: In exchange for eternal damnation of your soul? You're too nice of a guy for me to want to do that to you, Mr. Marino.
Dan Marino: You did it for Namath.
Satan: Yeah, but Joe was coming here anyways.

Beefy: Now eat up, you're gonna need you energy.
Nicky: I got energy up the ying-yang! Let's go save dad!
[runs out onto street with flask]
Nicky: Adrian! Cassius!
[gets hit by a bus]
Beefy: Oh boy..

Nicky: I feel strange. I can't stop thinking about this girl, Valerie.
Todd: Why? Did she hurt you? Do you need to cry on my shoulder?
John: Easy there, Liberace.

Beefy:It's not gonna be easy. Your brothers can possess people. So they probably won't look like themselves. You have to be suspicious of everyone.
Nicky: Alright, "bro". Well, the jig is up then!
(pulls out the flask) Get in the flask. C'mon, slide right in there.
Beefy: It's not me, moron.
Nicky: Oh. Sorry.

[after being ratted out by Peter and John]
Todd: Judas!
Peter: Yeah, Judas Priest, maybe.

Todd: You know, I was in love once but she said I wasn't financially reliable and she needed that.
John: Now, by "she", do you mean "he"?
Todd: No.
Beefy: Busted!

[Nicky and Beefy are watching "Live with Regis and Kathie Lee"]
Regis: So I was driving to work today. Some bozo in a Cadillac cuts me off. So I followed him. When he got out of his car, I run up behind this guy and I start bashing his brains in with this bat. Did you ever see "The Untouchables"? I was De Niro!
Audience member: What's happened to you, Regis?!