Little Nicky

Little Nicky quotes

37 total quotes (ID: 349)

Tag lines

I'm wasted!

[while peeing on Todd's door mat titled "I Love Acting"] You love acting, I love pissing.

Peeper: I think Victoria just told me her Secret.
Blind deacon: [after sensing Nicky's presence] You make the Lord very nervous.
Cardinal: In today's gospel, the Lord tells us how we should live if we wish to obtain the splendor of heaven...or something like that. Jesus this, Moses that, Abraham hit me with a wiffle ball bat.
Basketball audience member: Now that was some straight up David Copperfield shit!
Townie: You can do it, Nicky! Kick him in his hairy balls!
Todd: [after hearing Mr. Beefy singing in his sleep] That is the most horrifying thing I have ever seen.

Satan: But after much thought and careful consideration, I've decided that the ruler for the next ten thousand years is going to have to
Cassius and Adrian: What!?
Nicky: Hallelujah.
(they stare at Nicky) I mean...that sucks!

[peeper takes out a cell phone and dials. The son answers.]
Scottie: Hello?
Peeper: Hello, Scottie. Say, why don't be a good little boy and go downstairs and let your mother get comfy, alright?
Scottie: Who is this?
Peeper: This is a big bird who wants to see the rest of mommy. Hahahaha.
Mother: Oh my God, Scottie. Is that a man up our tree?
Peeper: No, no! Tell it's just a bird! It's just a big bird!

Beefy:It's not gonna be easy. Your brothers can possess people. So they probably won't look like themselves. You have to be suspicious of everyone.
Nicky: Alright, "bro". Well, the jig is up then!
(pulls out the flask) Get in the flask. C'mon, slide right in there.
Beefy: It's not me, moron.
Nicky: Oh. Sorry.

Popeye's employee: May I help you?
Nicky: Get in the flask!
Popeye's employee: What are you talking about, man?
Nicky: ...I'm talking about an..eight piece meal. Let's go.

Todd: Aren't you boiling hot in that outfit?
Nicky: No.
Todd: It's like eighty degrees in this hallway. Where you from? The South?
Nicky: Yes. The deep South. Hahahaha!
Todd: Why is that funny?
Nicky: I don't know.

[before he makes a shot at a basketball game]
Nicky: (to basketball) Release the evil.
[the ball explodes]
Nicky: Okay, too much evil.

[Beefy is making love to another dog]
Beefy: say "Mr. Beefy!" Say it! Say it!
Female dog: Sigh.."Mr. Beefy"
Beefy: And "I love you".

[Nicky and Beefy are watching "Live with Regis and Kathie Lee"]
Regis: So I was driving to work today. Some bozo in a Cadillac cuts me off. So I followed him. When he got out of his car, I run up behind this guy and I start bashing his brains in with this bat. Did you ever see "The Untouchables"? I was De Niro!
Audience member: What's happened to you, Regis?!

[after Nicky tests his powers on a can of Coke]
Todd: Were you about to drink one of my Cokes?
Nicky: No. I was just looking at it. It's beautiful.
[Todd takes a sip]
Todd: This Coke taste like Pepsi.
Beefy: You changed a Coke..into a Pepsi.. That was your big transformation??
Nicky: Come on man, give it up a little.. I mean it was pretty good for my first try.
Beefy: Do you even care that your brothers are killing your father!?
Nicky: Yes I care! And he is not going to die! (Flames come in Nicky's eyes then a loud explosion is heard. Todd walks out of a smoky hallway.)
Todd: I'm freaked out. My television just blew up.
Nicky: You're damn right it did!! I mean, really?

John: Hey Nicky, Check this out! (spins Ozzy record backwards, just noise) What's Ozzy trying to say?
Nicky: John, absolutely nothing. The Blizard always came straight with his messages. But wrap your minds around this gentlemen. [gets "Chicago" record] "Chicago".
[Nicky plays the "Chicago" album normal]
Todd: I love this song.
[Nicky spins a "Chicago" album backwards]
Voice: I command you, in the name of Lucifer, to spill the blood of the innocent!
Peter: Oh my God, "Chicago" kicks ass!

[after Nicky attacks the Blind deacon for insulting him and Valerie]
Valerie: Did you do that?
Nicky: No one calls my girl an evil slut.

[after being ratted out by Peter and John]
Todd: Judas!
Peter: Yeah, Judas Priest, maybe.