The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou

The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou quotes

115 total quotes (ID: 342)

Alistair Hennessy
Bill Ubell
Jane Winslett-Richardson
Klaus Daimler
Ned Plimpton
Oseary Drakoulias
Steve Zissou


Steve: I dunno, I think that bull-dyke reporter is gonna burn us.
Ned: I don't think she's a lesbian, Dad. She's pregnant.
Steve: Bull dykes can get pregnant. Anyway, I'd back out now, but we need the press.


Jane: How do you feel about part one of your new film?
Steve: Why? How do you feel about part one of my new film?
Jane: Well, I'm honest, so -
Steve: Just say it.
Jane: I thought aspects of it seemed slightly fake.
Steve: Did it seem fake when my best friend was bitten in half right in front of me then eaten alive, screaming? I think you're a fake. And I think you're a phony, and a bad reporter. How does that feel? Now tell me something. [Steve points his gun at her] Does this seem fake?

Alistair: How are things going with your - what are you calling it? Leopard fish?
Steve: Jaguar shark.
Alistair: Jaguar shark! So tell me - does it really exist?
Steve: You know, Allie, I don't want to give away the ending.

Festival Director: That's an endangered species at most. What would be the scientific purpose of killing it?
Steve: Revenge.

Oseary Drakoulias: [on a speaker phone] I spoke with Larry Amin, and it's a pass.
Steve: In other words, you ****ed us!
Oseary Drakoulias: Let's not cast stones at one another, my dear. Do you hear me, damn it? Do you?
Steve: No, I don't! I told you how to play it!
Oseary Drakoulias: Oh, bloody hell! You listen here, mate!
Ned: Can I interrupt for a second?
Oseary Drakoulias: Who the blazes is that?
Ned: It's me, Ned. Maybe this is nothing, maybe it's something. I don't know what your problems are, I don't know... but I just inherited $275,000. Would that amount make any difference?
[silence]
Oseary Drakoulias: What sort of expression is the lad wearing on his face?

Steve: We'll split into two groups. I'll take Ned, Ogata, and Wolodarsky.
Klaus: Thanks. Thanks a lot for not picking me.
Steve: We're in the middle of a lighning strike rescue op, Klaus. What's the deal?
Klaus: I'm sick of being on "B" squad.
Steve: You might be on "B" Squad, But you're the "B" Squad leader. Don't you know me and Esteban always thought of you as our baby brother?
Klaus: I've always thought of you two as my dads. Please don't let any one make fun of me for saying so.
Steve: I can't guarantee that, Klausie, but I'll try. Can we get on with the maneuvers now?

Steve: Look, if you're not against me... don't cross this line. If yes, do. I love you all.
Steve: [Klaus steps forward] Are you sure?
Klaus: Yes, I am.
Steve: I don't understand. Why?
Klaus: What do you mean? Wait a second. What are we doing? You said cross the line if—
Steve: Cross the line if you're going to quit.
Klaus: Oh. Do it again. I misunderstood.

Klaus: Thank you for putting me on the flag, Ned.
Ned: Of course, Klaus. It was my pleasure.
Klaus: Yeah, but you stitched me onto the dolphin, and I want you to know how much that means to me.
Ned: Well, I'm very pleased you liked it.
Klaus: Y-You're not listening. I didn't just like it. [Klaus salutes Ned] You understand?
Ned: Yes, I do. [Ned salutes in return] Thank you, Klaus.

Anne-Marie: Uh, what is this, Pele?
Pele: I don't know. Uh, the map?

Oseary Drakoulias: You must swear, legally swear that you will not kill that shark, or whatever it is, if it actually exists.
Steve: I'm going to fight it, but I'll let it live. What about my dynamite?
Oseary Drakoulias: [to assistant] Phillip, dynamite.

Jane: I need to find a baby for this father.
Steve: Yeah, I think I know what you mean.

The first thing that goes through a captain's head when he hears there's low morale goin' around is: "What'd I do? Is it all my fault? "Well, he's probably right. Most of us have been together a long time. There are others that were here before that. Do you all not like me anymore? I mean, what am I supposed to do? I don't know. Look, if you're not against me... don't cross this line. If yes, do. I love you all.

I'm going to find it and I'm going to destroy it. I don't know how yet, maybe dynamite.

Well, I was a little embarrassed at first. Obviously people are gonna think I'm a showboat and a little bit of a prick. But then I realized... that's me. I said those things. I did those things. I can live with that.

Steve: I hope you're not gonna bust our chops on this on, Bill.
Bill Ubell: Why would I do that?
Steve: Because you're a bond company stooge.
Bill Ubell: [scoffs] I'm also a human being.
Steve: All right, I take that back. How about a little teamsmanship?