The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou quotes
115 total quotesKlaus Daimler
Ned Plimpton
Oseary Drakoulias
Steve Zissou
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Bill: Do you have a vault? They want to know if there's a vault.
Steve: There's no vault.
Steve: [narrating a scene of a do****entary being watched by the pirates] Our vault contains at least ten different currencies from all over the world at any given moment, and we are prepared for every kind of financial necessity.
Steve: [seeing pirates with the vault] There goes Ned's inheritance.
Steve: There's no vault.
Steve: [narrating a scene of a do****entary being watched by the pirates] Our vault contains at least ten different currencies from all over the world at any given moment, and we are prepared for every kind of financial necessity.
Steve: [seeing pirates with the vault] There goes Ned's inheritance.
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Eleanor: Oh, shit. What do you want?
Steve: Do you mind if I butter you up a little before I answer that question?
Eleanor: Yes, I do. Tell me now.
Steve: I need some money to get the boat out of hock and rescue my bond company stooge who got kidnapped. Could we ask your parents to loan it to me?
Eleanor: No.
Steve: Okay. Could I go ahead and butter you up anyway? It took me two and a half hours to get out here.
Steve: Do you mind if I butter you up a little before I answer that question?
Eleanor: Yes, I do. Tell me now.
Steve: I need some money to get the boat out of hock and rescue my bond company stooge who got kidnapped. Could we ask your parents to loan it to me?
Eleanor: No.
Steve: Okay. Could I go ahead and butter you up anyway? It took me two and a half hours to get out here.
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Steve: I dunno, I think that bull-**** reporter is gonna burn us.
Ned: I don't think she's a lesbian, Dad. She's pregnant.
Steve: Bull ****s can get pregnant. Anyway, I'd back out now, but we need the press.
Ned: I don't think she's a lesbian, Dad. She's pregnant.
Steve: Bull ****s can get pregnant. Anyway, I'd back out now, but we need the press.
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Alistair: How are things going with your - what are you calling it? Leopard fish?
Steve: Jaguar shark.
Alistair: Jaguar shark! So tell me - does it really exist?
Steve: You know, Allie, I don't want to give away the ending.
Steve: Jaguar shark.
Alistair: Jaguar shark! So tell me - does it really exist?
Steve: You know, Allie, I don't want to give away the ending.
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Jane: How do you feel about part one of your new film?
Steve: Why? How do you feel about part one of my new film?
Jane: Well, I'm honest, so -
Steve: Just say it.
Jane: I thought aspects of it seemed slightly fake.
Steve: Did it seem fake when my best friend was bitten in half right in front of me then eaten alive, screaming? I think you're a fake. And I think you're a phony, and a bad reporter. How does that feel? Now tell me something. [Steve points his gun at her] Does this seem fake?
Steve: Why? How do you feel about part one of my new film?
Jane: Well, I'm honest, so -
Steve: Just say it.
Jane: I thought aspects of it seemed slightly fake.
Steve: Did it seem fake when my best friend was bitten in half right in front of me then eaten alive, screaming? I think you're a fake. And I think you're a phony, and a bad reporter. How does that feel? Now tell me something. [Steve points his gun at her] Does this seem fake?
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Klaus: Thank you for putting me on the flag, Ned.
Ned: Of course, Klaus. It was my pleasure.
Klaus: Yeah, but you stitched me onto the dolphin, and I want you to know how much that means to me.
Ned: Well, I'm very pleased you liked it.
Klaus: Y-You're not listening. I didn't just like it. [Klaus salutes Ned] You understand?
Ned: Yes, I do. [Ned salutes in return] Thank you, Klaus.
Ned: Of course, Klaus. It was my pleasure.
Klaus: Yeah, but you stitched me onto the dolphin, and I want you to know how much that means to me.
Ned: Well, I'm very pleased you liked it.
Klaus: Y-You're not listening. I didn't just like it. [Klaus salutes Ned] You understand?
Ned: Yes, I do. [Ned salutes in return] Thank you, Klaus.
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Festival Director: That's an endangered species at most. What would be the scientific purpose of killing it?
Steve: Revenge.
Steve: Revenge.
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I'm going to find it and I'm going to destroy it. I don't know how yet, maybe dynamite.
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Alistair: Is this my espresso machine? Wh-what is — h-how did you get my espresso machine?
Bill Ubell: Well... uh... we ****in' stole it, man.
Bill Ubell: Well... uh... we ****in' stole it, man.
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We've never made great husbands, have we? Of course, I have a good excuse. I'm part gay.
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Supposedly Cousteau and his cronies invented the idea of putting walkie-talkies into the helmet. But we made ours with a special rabbit ear on the top so we could pipe in some music.
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The first thing that goes through a captain's head when he hears there's low morale goin' around is: "What'd I do? Is it all my fault? "Well, he's probably right. Most of us have been together a long time. There are others that were here before that. Do you all not like me anymore? I mean, what am I supposed to do? I don't know. Look, if you're not against me... don't cross this line. If yes, do. I love you all.