Liar Liar

Liar Liar quotes

56 total quotes (ID: 771)

Fletcher Reede
Max Reede


Fletcher: Your honor, I object!
Judge: Why?
Fletcher: Because it's devastating to my case!
Judge: Overruled.
Fletcher: Good call!


Receptionist: Hey, Mr Reede! Like the new dress?
Fletcher: Whatever takes the focus off your head!

Max: My dad? He's... a liar.
Teacher: A liar? I'm sure you don't mean a liar.
Max: Well, he wears a suit and goes to court and talks to the judge.
Teacher: Oh, you mean he's a lawyer.

Max: Mom? Dad?
[Audrey and Fletcher are kissing]
Fletcher: MAX? Did you wish for your mom and I to get back together again?
Max: No. I wished for rollerblades!
Audrey: Uh... wanna cut the cake... Dad?
Fletcher: I would love to... but I have this horrible pain in my arm...
Max: Oh no... it's the claw!
Fletcher: NO ONE CAN STOP THE CLAW!

Judge Stevens: How are we this morning, Counselor?
Dana: Fine, thank you.
Judge Stevens: And how about you, Mr. Reede?
Fletcher: I'm a little upset about a bad sexual episode I had last night.
[Shocked pause]
Judge Stevens: Well, you're young. It'll happen more and more. In the meantime, what do you say we get down to business?

Why don't you go play in the office a minute. Sue someone for everything they've got. Maybe you send a fax to one of your girlfriends!

[To his ex-wife's partner] Jerry? Enjoy my wife? Eh? Ahhh! [nods knowingly]

Greta: Mr. Reede, several years ago a friend of mine had a burglar on her roof, a burglar. He fell through the kitchen skylight, landed on a cutting board, on a butcher's knife, cutting his leg. The burglar sued my friend, he sued my friend. And because of guys like you *he won*. My friend had to pay the burglar $6,000. Is that justice?
Fletcher: No! [pause] I'd have got him ten.

Oh God, how am I going to get out of this? Think...Think [bashes his head on the wall] Oww-ee [he thinks] Oww-ee! [proceeds to beat himself up]

I'm kicking my ass, d'ya mind?!

Max: My teacher tells me beauty is on the inside.
Fletcher: That's just something ugly people say.

Fletcher: You lied about your age to make yourself older, but why would any woman WANNA DO THAT?
Samantha: I changed it so I could get married.
Fletcher: AND THE TRUTH SHALL SET YOU FREE!

I'm on my knees in a nine hundred dollar suit!

Max: If I keep making this face... will it get stuck that way?
Fletcher: Uh uh. As a matter of fact, some people make a very good living that way.

Fletcher: Weight, 105. Yeah, in your bra!
Dana: Your Honor, I object!
Fletcher: You would!
Dana: BASTARD!
Fletcher: HAG!
Judge Stevens: QUIET! Overruled!