Liar Liar quotes
56 total quotesFletcher Reede
Max Reede
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I'm on my knees in a nine hundred dollar suit!
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Judge Stevens: How are we this morning, Counselor?
Dana: Fine, thank you.
Judge Stevens: And how about you, Mr. Reede?
Fletcher: I'm a little upset about a bad sexual episode I had last night.
[Shocked pause]
Judge Stevens: Well, you're young. It'll happen more and more. In the meantime, what do you say we get down to business?
Dana: Fine, thank you.
Judge Stevens: And how about you, Mr. Reede?
Fletcher: I'm a little upset about a bad sexual episode I had last night.
[Shocked pause]
Judge Stevens: Well, you're young. It'll happen more and more. In the meantime, what do you say we get down to business?
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Fletcher: Are you marrying this guy because you're mad at me?
Audrey: No - I divorced you because I was mad at you.
Audrey: No - I divorced you because I was mad at you.
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Max: My dad? He's... a liar.
Teacher: A liar? I'm sure you don't mean a liar.
Max: Well, he wears a suit and goes to court and talks to the judge.
Teacher: Oh, you mean he's a lawyer.
Teacher: A liar? I'm sure you don't mean a liar.
Max: Well, he wears a suit and goes to court and talks to the judge.
Teacher: Oh, you mean he's a lawyer.
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Fletcher: Your honor, I object!
Judge: Why?
Fletcher: Because it's devastating to my case!
Judge: Overruled.
Fletcher: Good call!
Judge: Why?
Fletcher: Because it's devastating to my case!
Judge: Overruled.
Fletcher: Good call!
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Max: Mom? Dad?
[Audrey and Fletcher are kissing]
Fletcher: MAX? Did you wish for your mom and I to get back together again?
Max: No. I wished for rollerblades!
Audrey: Uh... wanna cut the cake... Dad?
Fletcher: I would love to... but I have this horrible pain in my arm...
Max: Oh no... it's the claw!
Fletcher: NO ONE CAN STOP THE CLAW!
[Audrey and Fletcher are kissing]
Fletcher: MAX? Did you wish for your mom and I to get back together again?
Max: No. I wished for rollerblades!
Audrey: Uh... wanna cut the cake... Dad?
Fletcher: I would love to... but I have this horrible pain in my arm...
Max: Oh no... it's the claw!
Fletcher: NO ONE CAN STOP THE CLAW!
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Why don't you go play in the office a minute. Sue someone for everything they've got. Maybe you send a fax to one of your girlfriends!
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Fletcher: Weight, 105. Yeah, in your bra!
Dana: Your Honor, I object!
Fletcher: You would!
Dana: BASTARD!
Fletcher: HAG!
Judge Stevens: QUIET! Overruled!
Dana: Your Honor, I object!
Fletcher: You would!
Dana: BASTARD!
Fletcher: HAG!
Judge Stevens: QUIET! Overruled!
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It's... THE CLAW!!!
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Max: If I keep making this face... will it get stuck that way?
Fletcher: Uh uh. As a matter of fact, some people make a very good living that way.
Fletcher: Uh uh. As a matter of fact, some people make a very good living that way.
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Fletcher: You lied about your age to make yourself older, but why would any woman WANNA DO THAT?
Samantha: I changed it so I could get married.
Fletcher: AND THE TRUTH SHALL SET YOU FREE!
Samantha: I changed it so I could get married.
Fletcher: AND THE TRUTH SHALL SET YOU FREE!
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Oh God, how am I going to get out of this? Think...Think [bashes his head on the wall] Oww-ee [he thinks] Oww-ee! [proceeds to beat himself up]
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[To his ex-wife's partner] Jerry? Enjoy my wife? Eh? Ahhh! [nods knowingly]
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Jerry: I love you!
Audrey: Thank you.
Jerry: Well, that's wasn't exactly the answer I was hoping for...
Audrey: Thank you very much?
Audrey: Thank you.
Jerry: Well, that's wasn't exactly the answer I was hoping for...
Audrey: Thank you very much?