Juno quotes

89 total quotes

Bren MacGuff
Juno MacGuff
Mac MacGuff
Multiple Characters

View Quote I think I'm just going to nip it in the bud, you know, before it gets worse. 'Cause you know, they say pregnancy can often lead to, you know — an infant.

View Quote Hi, I'm calling to procure a hasty abortion...

View Quote You should've gone to China, you know, 'cause I hear they give away babies like free iPods. You know, they pretty much just put them in those t-shirt guns and shoot them out at sporting events.

View Quote Next time I see that Bleeker kid I'm going to punch him in the wiener.

View Quote Thanks for having me and my irresponsible child over to your house.

View Quote Hey there, big puffy version of Junebug!

View Quote Liberty Bell, if you put one more Bac-O on that potato, I'm gonna kick your little monkey butt.

View Quote In my opinion, the best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty... handsome, what have you, the right person will still think the sun shines out your ass. That's the kind of person that's worth sticking with.

View Quote Is it boy troubles? Cause I don't really approve of you dating in your condition.

View Quote Juno has a great sense of humor. Just one of her many genetic gifts.

View Quote I think that kids get bored and they have intercourse.

View Quote Someone else is gonna find a precious blessing from Jesus in this garbage dump of a situation.

View Quote [to an ultrasound technician] My five-year-old daughter could do that, and let me tell you, she is not the brightest bulb in the tanning bed, so why don't you go back to night school in Manteno and learn a real trade?

View Quote You don't understand. Mark is a married man. There are boundaries.

View Quote We don't have a dog because you're allergic to their saliva.