Jerry Maguire quotes

61 total quotes

Laurel Boyd
Multiple Characters
Rod Tidwell

View Quote Bob Sugar: It's not show "friends". It's show business.

View Quote I will not rest until I have you holding a Coke, wearing your own shoe, playing a Sega game featuring you, while singing your own song in a new commercial, starring you, broadcast during the Superbowl, in a game that you are winning, and I will not sleep until that happens. I'll give you fifteen minutes to call me back.

View Quote There's genius everywhere, but until they turn pro, it's like popcorn in the pan. Some pop... some don't.

View Quote Avery Bishop (very loudly): YOU ARE JERRY MA-****ING-GUIRE!!!

View Quote Copy store clerk: That's how you become great, man. Hang your balls out there!

View Quote Anyone else would have left you by now, but I'm sticking with you. And if I have to ride your ass like Zorro, you're gonna show me the money. We are together on this! We are going to be one! Shit!

View Quote Jerry Maguire. My agent. You are my ambassador of kwan!

View Quote Jan: I love men. I respect men. But that doesn't change the fact that most of them belong in cages.

View Quote Alice: What's the current definition of stalking?
Woman #1: Coming over uninvited.
Jan: So Romeo under the trellis... was a stalker.

View Quote [to Dorothy] Okay. Lil' speech before I go. Do. Not. Worry. About. Your. Job. Our company is in good shape. You and your son... we... are just fine. You still have a job. I want you to feel confident! In. Me. And I have a problem with people who talk about themselves in the third person, but let me tell you something about Jerry Maguire. Come after me and you will lose I am a survivor! Do not underestimate Jerry Maguire! I've got wits! I've got the instincts of a panther!

View Quote Jerry: I'm Jerry Maguire.
Laurel: You seem just the way I pictured you. I'm her disapproving sister Laurel.
Jerry: Honesty. Thank you.

View Quote [Looking over an inadequate contract offer]
Jerry: I'll go back to them.
Marcee: And say what? "Please remove your dick from my ass"?! I'm sorry. I'm just a little pregnant right now.

View Quote You are hanging on by a very thin thread and I dig that about you!

View Quote Dotty -- this is not "a guy.". This is a "syndrome." It's called Early Midlife, About-To-Marry, Hanging Onto The-Bottom-Rung Dear-God-Don't-Let-Me-Be-Alone, I'll-Call-My-Newly Long-suffering-Assistant-Without Medical-For-Company Syndrome. And if, knowing all that, you still allow him to come over, more power to you.

View Quote Tyson: [pointing to Rod on the TV] That's my mofo!
Marcee: Why don't you be the first man in your family not to say that word? And then we'll let you live.