Multiple Characters quotes

Copy store clerk: That's how you become great, man. Hang your balls out there!

Marcee Tidwell: Now I don't know what you do for your five-percent, but this man, my husband has a whole plan, an image... we majored in marketing, Jerry, and when you put him in a Waterbed Warehouse commercial, excuse me, you are making him common. He is pure gold and you're giving him "Waterbed Warehouse" when he deserves the big four -- shoe, car, clothing-line, soft-drink. The four jewels of the celebrity endorsement dollar.

Marcee Tidwell: My whole life is this family, Jerry. It doesn't work without him.

Bob Sugar: It's not show "friends". It's show business.

Jan: I love men. I respect men. But that doesn't change the fact that most of them belong in cages.

Avery Bishop: Jerry, there is a "sensitivity" thing that some people have. I don't have it. I don't cry at movies. I don't gush over babies. I don't start celebrating Christmas five months early, and I don't tell a man who just screwed up both of our lives -- 'oh, poor baby.' That's me. For better or worse. But I do love you.

Chad: This... is Miles Davis and John Coltrane. Stockholm. 1963... two masters of freedom, playing in a time before their art was corrupted by a zillion ****tail lounge performers who destroyed the legacy of the only American artform -- JAZZ.

Avery Bishop (very loudly): YOU ARE JERRY MA-****ING-GUIRE!!!

Ray: What's wrong, mom?
Dorothy: First class is what's wrong. It used to be a better meal. Now it's a better life.

Dorothy: I loved your memo, by the way.
Jerry: Thanks... actually, it was just a "Mission Statement."
Dorothy: I think in this age, optimism like that... it's a revolutionary act.
Jerry: You think so?
Dorothy: Oh yes.
Jerry: I appreciate that, because some of that stuff... you know, it was two in the morning and...
Dorothy: -- the part about "we should embrace what it is still virginal about our enthusiasm" -- "and we should all force open the tightly-clenched fist of commerce, and give a little back for the greater good.". I mean, I was inspired, and I'm an accountant.

Avery: Don't...ever...stop...****ing...me!
Jerry: Sooner... or later... I'll have to stop.
Avery: Oh Gawd, oh yes, it's never been better. Never BETTER!! Never BETTER!!
[The two finish having sex]
Avery: Open your eyes. If you ever want me to be with another woman for you, I would do it. I'm not interested in it. There was a time, yes, it felt normal for me, but it was a phase, a college thing, like torn Levi's or law school for you... people change, but if you ever feel like being adventurous in that way, I would do it for you... You want anything from the kitchen I'm going to get some fruit --
Jerry: You know I don't think we need to do the thing where we tell each other everything!
Avery: Jerry, this is what intimacy is!

Sugar: I came here to let you go.
Jerry: Pardon me?
Sugar: Came here to fire you, Jerry. It's real, Jerry. You... you should say something.
Jerry: Aw shit...the crowded restaurant... so there's no scene...
Sugar: I know. It sucks. I suck.
Jerry: You...
Sugar: You did this to yourself. You said "fewer clients." You put it all on paper. Scully was very upset. Heart attacks make some people sweeter, but not him. You did this to yourself -- although I do gotta hand it to you. For about five minutes you had everyone applauding smaller revenues.
Jerry: You... ungrateful... unctuous...
Sugar: ... dick?
Jerry: Dick.
Sugar: Give me a little credit for doing this face-to-face! What I went through knowing I was going to do this to my mentor! Can you get past yourself for a second?
Jerry: You'll lose.
Sugar: You wanted smaller.
Jerry: I'm over it. Now I want all my clients and yours too.
Sugar: Jerry --
Jerry: -- and I'll get 'em.
Sugar: You'll always be my hero, Jerry. Always always always. We're bringing other elements in, we're focusing on endorsements -- it's not about handholding anymore. We're no longer babysitters.

Jerry: Rod! How ya doing? Jerry Maguire.
Rod: "How am I doing?" I'll tell you. I'm sweatin, dude! That's how I'm "doin." I'm sweatin my contract. I'm sweatin' Bob Sugar calling and telling me I'm blowing the big endorsements if I stay with you. I'm sweatin'. You hear what I'm saying?
Jerry: I hear what you're saying...
Rod: No. I hear that you hear what I'm saying. But do you hear what I'm saying?
...
Rod: Alright, we're just getting started on my list of things you need to know. Take notes if you want to.
Jerry: Okay.
Rod: Good, 'cause see, I am a valuable commodity. I go across the middle. I see the ball and a dude coming right at me, wanting to kill me, I tell my brain "get killed, catch the ball." That's New York Steak, baby. Rare. And yet, nobody's giving me LOVE. Nobody's giving me PROPS. Nobody. I went to Arizona State, I'm from Arizona, I break Arizona records, I'm a Sun Devil, man!!!
Jerry: Now you want Arizona dollars.
Rod: Exactly. And I'm sitting here with an ant problem, look! And my brother Tee Pee's room is flooded with water. The house is fallin' apart, we don't even know where we're gonna live in a year, and I'm supposed to be a "superstar," man! Are you catching my flow, here?
Jerry: I need a decision from you, Rod.
...
Rod: Now to recap, I want to stay in Arizona. I want my new contract. I like you, you're nice to my wife.
Jerry: That's that's great. I'm really... happy.
Rod: Are you listenin'?
Jerry: Yes!
Rod: This is what I'm gonna do for you: God bless you, Jerry. But this is what you gonna do for me, Jerry?
Jerry: Yeah, what can I do for you, Rod? You just tell me what can I do for you?
Rod: It's something very personal, a very important thing. Hell! It's a family motto. Are you ready Jerry? I wanna make sure you're ready, brother. Here it is: Show me the money. SHOW! ME! THE! MONEY! Jerry, it is such a pleasure to say that! Say it with me one time, Jerry.
Jerry: Show you the money.
Rod: No, no. You can do better than that! I want you to say it brother with meaning! Hey, I got Bob Sugar on the other line I bet you he can say it!
Jerry: Ye, ye, no, no, no. Show you the money.
Rod: No! Not show you! Show me the money!
Jerry: Show me the money!
Rod: Yeah! Louder!
Jerry: Show me the money!
Rod: I need to feel you Jerry!
Jerry: Show me the money! Show me the money!
Rod: I love black people.
Jerry: I love black people!
Rod: Who's your mother****er, Jerry?
Jerry: You're my mother ****er! Show me the money!
Rod: Uh! Congratulations, you're still my agent. Note: the bolded line is ranked #25 in the American Film Institute's list of the top 100 movie quotations in American cinema.

Avery: They're all heatseekers! All of them, everybody. You keep one superstar and they'll all follow. There's no real loyalty, and the first person who told me that, Jerry Maguire, was you.
Jerry: I think I was trying to sleep with you at the time.
Avery: Well, it worked, and I will not let you fail. You are Jerry Ma- ****in-guire.
Jerry: That's right.
Avery: King of the Housecalls! Master of the Living Room!
Jerry: Okay, this is working.
Avery: You are not a loser.
Jerry: Who said anything about "loser?" Where do you get this word "loser?"
Avery: I'm sorry. I was on a roll. I meant something else.

Jerry: I'm Jerry Maguire.
Laurel: You seem just the way I pictured you. I'm her disapproving sister Laurel.
Jerry: Honesty. Thank you.

Jerry: The ****in zoo is closed, Ray.
Ray: You said "****."
Jerry: Uh... yeah... I...
Ray: Don't worry. I won't tell.

Jerry: I started talking with Dennis Wilburn about your renegotation.
Rod: Talking. Jerry Rice, Andre Reed, Chris Carter... I smoke all these fools. They are making the big sweet dollars. They are making the... kwan, and you are talking.
Jerry: Kwan. That's your word?
Rod: Yeah, man, it means love, respect, community... and the dollars too. The whole package. The kwan.
Jerry: Great word. Towel?
Rod: No, I air-dry.
Jerry: Rod, I say this with great respect, but those players you mentioned are marquee players...
Rod: Marquee?!?
Jerry: Here's what I'm saying. This is a renegotiation. We want more from them, so let's show them more from us. Let's show them your pure joy of the game, let's bury the attitude a little, let's show them --
Rod: You're telling me to dance.
Jerry: No, I'm saying to be --
Rod: "Love me love me love me... put me on t.v." That's the iconography of rascism, man!
Jerry: Rod, I'm not a rascist. I'm telling you to be the best version of you, to get back to the guy who first started playing this game. Way back when you were a kid. It wasn't just about the money, was it?...Was it?
Rod: Do your job, man, don't tell me to dance.
Jerry: Fine. Fine. Fine, fine, fine, fine, fine.
Rod: I'm an athlete, not an entertainer. These are the ABC's of ME. Get it? I do not dance.

Alice: What's the current definition of stalking?
Woman #1: Coming over uninvited.
Jan: So Romeo under the trellis... was a stalker.

Jerry: This is going to change everything.
Dorothy: Promise?

Dorothy: Maybe I am taking advantage. Am I a bad person? All I know is that I found someone who was charming and popular and not-so-nice to me -- and he died. Okay? So why should I let this guy go, when everything in my body says this one is the one.
Laurel: Easy, hon, I was just looking for fun details --
Dorothy: Oh, well, why didn't you say so? And oh, I don't know if you're interested in this detail, but I was just about to tell you that I love him. I love him, and I don't care what you think. I love him for the man he wants to be, and I love him for the man he almost is. I love him.

[Looking over an inadequate contract offer]
Jerry: I'll go back to them.
Marcee: And say what? "Please remove your dick from my ass"?! I'm sorry. I'm just a little pregnant right now.

Rod: Tell me what to do, Jerry. You tell me to eat lima beans, I'll eat lima beans. If you say take the shitty deal, that's all we can get --
Marcee: "All we can get?"
Rod: Can I SPEAK with my agent here?
Marcee: You know what you're qonna do, Rodney. You're gonna reject this shitty contract. You're gonna play out your existing shitty contract and go be a free agent next year and the hell with Arizona. This is us, and we determine our worth. You're a fine, proud, surviving, splendid black man.
Rod: Honey, you are just -- the shit.
Jerry: If you get injured, you get nothing.
Rod: Won't happen. I'm strong in my mind.
Jerry: It's a risk.
Rod: Bet on me, dude. Bet on me like I bet on you.

Jerry: Can I ask you a question totally unrelated to your career?
Rod: Oh, we gonna be friends now?
Jerry: What do you know about dating a single mother?
Rod: Oh I know plenty. I was raised by a single mother.
Jerry: Tell me, because it's been a month, and she's about to take another job in San Diego.
Rod: First, single mothers don't "date." They have been to the circus, you know what I'm saying? They have been to the puppet show and they have seen the strings. You love her?
Jerry: How do I know?
Rod: You know when you know. It makes you shiver, it eats at your insides. You know?
Jerry: No, I don't know.
Rod: Then you gotta have The Talk.
Jerry: But I sure don't like that she's leaving.
Rod: Well, that ain't fair to her. A single mother, that's a sacred thing, man.
Jerry: The kid is amazing.
Rod: No. A real man does not shoplift the "pooty" from a single mom.
Jerry: I didn't "shoplift the pooty." We were thrown together and -- I mean it's two mutual people who -- Alright, I shoplifted the pooty.
Rod: Shame on you. SHAME on you.

Dorothy: Look, just in case this weekend becomes next month and next month becomes... whatever... Don't make a joke of your life. Go back and read what you wrote. You're better than the rest of them, better than the Bob Sugars, and don't forget it.
Jerry: Wait a second. I know a way to s... to save on Medical and rent and... look... what if we stayed together? What if we uh... got married. If I said that, would you stay?
Dorothy: No no. Don't do that. Don't say that unless you want to say it.
Jerry: Will you marry me?

Rod: You never had The Talk, did you?
Jerry: No.
Rod: Well, this was another way to go.

Ray: D'you know that the human head weighs 8 pounds?
Jerry: Did you know that Troy Aikman, in only six years, has passed for 16,303 yards?
Ray: D'you know that bees and dogs can smell fear?
Jerry: Did you know that the career record for hits is 4,256 by Pete Rose who is NOT in the Hall of Fame?
Ray: D'you know that my next door neighbor has three rabbits?
Jerry: I... I can't compete with that!

Tyson: [pointing to Rod on the TV] That's my mofo!
Marcee: Why don't you be the first man in your family not to say that word? And then we'll let you live.

Rod: I'm gonna have the game of my life on Monday Night Football, and show all these mother****ers.
Jerry: Take care, okay? You're my entire client roster.
Rod: Don't I know it. Now go home to your wife.
Jerry: What's that supposed to mean?
Rod: Why are you even here, man? You could have told me all this over the phone.
Jerry: I don't know -- how's "dedication" for an answer?
Rod: You don't want to go home, do you?
Jerry: Why are you doing this to me, Rod?
Rod: I'm asking you a question --
Jerry: No, you're --
Rod: I'm trying to talk to you. How's your marriage?
Jerry: Not everyone has what you have.
Rod: Why'd you get married? I'm asking you as a friend.
Jerry: You're jabbing at me.
Rod: I'm sorry I asked.
Jerry: No, I'm going to answer you. You want an answer? I'll give it to you. Loyalty. She was loyal. Everything grew from there.
Rod: That's an answer.
Jerry: Damn right.
Rod: For loyalty, you buy a dog. For love, you get married.
Jerry: Look. I'm happy to entertain you, as always, but I have a question for you. Are we really "friends?"
Rod: Why not --
Jerry: Well, friends can tell each other anything, right? If we have our "friends" hats on --
Rod: I think so.
Jerry: Alright. Here's why you don't have your ten million dollars yet. You are a paycheck player. You play with your head. Not your heart. In your personal life? Heart. But when you get on the field -- you're a businessman. It's wide-angle lenses and who ****ed you over and who owes you for it. That's not what inspires people. I'm sorry, but that's the truth, can you handle it? Just a "question," Rod. Between friends.
Rod: I don't want to be friends anymore.
Jerry: Fine.
Rod: Beautiful.

Dorothy: I took advantage of you and worst of all, I'm not alone. I did this with a kid. I was just on some ride where I thought I was in 1ove enough for both of us. I did this. And at least I can do something about it now.
Jerry: Well -- I'm not the guy who's going to run. I stick.
Dorothy: I don't need you to "stick."
Jerry: What do you want from me? My soul?
Dorothy: Why not? I deserve that much.
Jerry: What if I'm just not built that way?
Dorothy: I think we made a mistake here.
Jerry: What if it's true? "Great at friendship bad at intimacy." I mean, come on. It's the theme of my bachelor party film --
Dorothy: I know. I watched it. I sort of know it by heart.
Jerry: I don't like to give up.
Dorothy: Oh please. My need to make the best of things, and your need to be what, "responsible"... if one of us doesn't say something now we might lose ten years being polite about it. Why don't we call this next road trip what it is. A nice long break.
Jerry: What about Ray?
Dorothy: There's no question you'll be friends. Of course you'll be friends.
Jerry: So this break... is a break-up.
Dorothy: Come on, Jerry. You know this isn't easy for me. I mean, on the surface, you'd almost think everything was fine. See, I've got this great guy who loves my kid -- and he sure does like me a lot. I can't live that way. It's not the way I'm built.

Jerry: Hello. I'm looking for my wife. Alright. If this is where it has to happen, then this is where it has to happen. I'm not letting you get rid of me. How about that? This used to be my specialty. I was good in a living room. Send me in there, I'll do it alone. And now I just... I don't know...but our little company had a good night tonight. A really big night. But it wasn't complete, it wasn't nearly close to being in the same vicinity as complete, because I couldn't share it with you. I couldn't hear your voice, or laugh about it with you. I missed my wife. We live in a cynical world, and we work in a business of tough competitors, I love you. You complete me. And I just...
Dorothy: Shut up. Just shut up. You had me at hello.

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