Hot Fuzz

Hot Fuzz quotes

94 total quotes (ID: 277)

Danny Butterman
Multiple Characters
Nicholas Angel
Simon Skinner


Simon Skinner: [over the walkie talkie] Michael? Michael! Are you there? Micheal! Is everything okay?
Nicholas Angel: [immitating Lurch] Yarp.
Simon Skinner: Sergeant Angel's been taken care of?
Nicholas Angel: Yarp.
Simon Skinner: He's not gonna get back up again?
Nicholas Angel: [nervously] Narp?
Simon Skinner: Good.


DC Andy Wainwright: [after a bottle of bolognaise explodes in his face] It's alright, Andy! It's just bolognaise!

Joyce Cooper: I hope you had a pleasant trip-- fascist!

Met Sergeant: Hello, Nicholas.
Nicholas Angel: Hello, Sergeant.
Met Sergeant: How's the hand?
Nicholas Angel: Still a bit stiff.
Met Sergeant: It can get awfully hairy out there. I'm surprised you weren't snapped up sooner for a nice desk job, that's what I did.
Nicholas Angel: I like to think my office is out on the street.
Met Sergeant: Indeed you do. Your arrest record is 400% higher than any other officer, which is high time such skills were put to better use. We're making you Sergeant.
Nicholas Angel: I see. Where?
Met Sergeant: In Sandford, Gloucestershire.
Nicholas Angel: But that's... in the country?
Met Sergeant: Yes! Lovely.
Nicholas Angel: Isn't there a Sergeant's position here in London?
Met Sergeant: No.
Nicholas Angel: Can I remain here as a PC?
Met Sergeant: No.
Nicholas Angel: Do I have any choice in this?
Met Sergeant: No!
Nicholas Angel: Sergeant, I kinda like it here.
Met Sergeant: Well, you've always wanted a transfer to the country.
Nicholas Angel: In twenty years or so, yes.
Met Sergeant: Well done you.

Inspector Frank Butterman: [trying to convince the Sandford Police to arrest Angel] You aren't seriously going to believe this man, are you? HE ISN'T EVEN FROM ROUND HERE!!!

Lurch: Yarp.

Leslie Tiller: You know that feller who blew up?
Nicholas Angel: George Merchant?
Leslie Tiller: Well, George Merchant- God rest him- wanted to buy this land, so he sent round his legal fella, Martin Blower- God rest him. I thought I might take them up on it, as I haven't really got much family round here, save my cousin Sissy, so I thought I might take them up on the offer and move to Buford Abbey. Would you like a card with this?
Nicholas Angel: No, sorry, you were talking about the offer?
Leslie Tiller: Well, it turns out that Martin Blower- God rest him- knew where the new bypass road was going, because he was knocking off Eve Draper from the council- God rest her. And then that reporter- God rest him- finds out about the route and tells me this land is very valuable, ten times what George Merchant and Martin Blower- God rest them- offered me. So with them up and passed on, I decided to sell it on myself to some folks from the city that Martin, George and Eve- God rest them- had all been talking to. Apparently they want to build a big shopping center or something. Course, cousin Sissy won't be too happy about that but, as far as I am concerned, cousin Sissy can go and fu--
Nicholas Angel: Would you excuse me for just one second?

Sgt. Tony Fisher: [upon being presented with an obvious murder scene] So... you're saying this wasn't an accident?

Simon Skinner: Lock me up.
Nicholas Angel: I'm sorry?
Simon Skinner: I'm a slasher, and I must be stopped.
Nicholas Angel: You're a what?
Simon Skinner: A slasher... of prices! Ha ha ha, just kidding! I'm Simon Skinner, and I run the local Supermarche. Stop in and see me some time. My discounts are criminal! Catch me later!

Reverend Phillip Shooter: **** off, grasshopper!

Sgt. Turner: [after Angel has arrested three underage drinkers] You don't really wanna process all this lot do you? My pen's runnin' out.

[to SOCO ex-girlfriend as he leaves a crime scene] You do realize that window was broken from the inside?

[whilst giving a presentation to a gathering of school children]
Nicholas Angel: Police work is as much about preventing crime as it is about fighting crime. Most importantly it is about procedural correctness in the exercising of unquestionable moral authority. Any questions?
[Danny puts up his hand]
Nicholas Angel: [sotto] Yes?
Danny Butterman: Is it true that there is a place in a man's head that if you shoot it, it will blow up?
[Angel gives Danny a filthy look]

DC Andy Cartwright: We're just hoping to talk to the last people to see Mr. Merchant alive. Namely a Sergeant Nicolarse ass-wipe and ****stable Fanny Batterbomb.
Danny Butterman: [smiling] Hey, that's us!

Simon Skinner: You see, much as I enjoyed your wild theories Sergeant, the truth is far less complex. Blower's fate was simply the result of his being... an appalling actor.
Nicholas Angel: You murdered him for that?
Simon Skinner: He murdered Bill Shakespeare.
Nicholas Angel: What? Oh.
Annette Roper: Martin Blower was less concerned with the reputation of the village than he was with his sordid affair with Eve Draper!
Nicholas Angel: So Eve deserved to die too?
Dr. Robin Hatcher: Well, she did have a very annoying laugh.
Nicholas Angel: George Merchant?
Simon Skinner: He had an awful house.