Hot Fuzz

Hot Fuzz quotes

94 total quotes (ID: 277)

Danny Butterman
Multiple Characters
Nicholas Angel
Simon Skinner


Danny Butterman: Have you ever fired two guns whilst jumping through the air?
Nicholas Angel: No.
Danny Butterman: Have you ever fired one gun whilst jumping through the air?
Nicholas Angel: No.
Danny Butterman: Have you ever been involved in a high speed car chase?
Nicholas Angel: Yes I have.
Danny Butterman: Have you ever fired a gun whilst in a high speed car chase?
Nicholas Angel: No!


Sgt. Turner: Nobody tells me nothing!

[after watching Point Break] I won't argue that it was a no-holds-barred adrenaline fuelled thrill-ride, but there's no way that you could perpetrate that amount of carnage and mayhem and not incur a considerable amount of paperwork.

Chief Inspector: I know what you're going to say, Nicholas, but the fact is you've been making us all look bad.
Nicholas Angel: I'm sorry, sir?
Chief Inspector: Of course, we all appreciate your efforts, but you've been rather letting the side down.
Met Inspector: It's all about being a team player, Nicholas.
Met Sergeant: You can't be the Sheriff of London.
Chief Inspector: If we let you carry on running around town, you'll continue to be exceptional... and we can't have that. You'll put us all out of a job.
Nicholas Angel: With respect, sir, you can't just make people disappear.
Chief Inspector: Yes I can, I'm the Chief Inspector.
Nicholas Angel: Well, however you spin this, there's one thing you haven't taken into account... and that's what the team is gonna make of this!
[Nicholas gets up and storms out, only to see all of his colleagues happily standing underneath a banner reading 'Good Luck Nicholas']

Reverend Phillip Shooter: Stop! Stop this, please! Let us stop this mindless violence! Nicholas my son, you may not be a man of God, but surely you are a man of peace.
Nicholas Angel: I may not be a man of god, Reverend, but I know right, and I know wrong, and I have the good grace to know which is which.
Reverend Phillip Shooter: Oh... **** off, grasshopper! [produces two deringers from his robe sleeves and shoots Nicholas]
Danny Butterman: NO! [shoots the Reverend]
Reverend Phillip Shooter: Jesus Christ!
Danny Butterman: NICHOLAS! [Nicholas looks up at him] I thought you was a goner.
Dr. Hatcher: DROP YOUR WEAPONS!
Danny Butterman: Doctor Hatcher, no!
Dr. Hatcher: Shut up, Danny! I brought you into this world, I think its rather fitting that I should be the one to take you out of it. Now... drop 'em.
[Danny throws his shotgun to the ground and it fires, blowing off Hatcher's toe] OWWW!!!
Nicholas Angel: You're a doctor. Deal with it.
Danny Butterman: Yeah, mother****er.
Nicholas Angel: Danny, let's roll.
Danny Butterman: What you thinking?
Nicholas Angel: Pub?

[after arresting Peter ****er for shoplifting, he takes him back to the station]
Sergeant Tony Fisher: Impressive Collar. Shame Mr. Skinner doesn't wanna press charges.
Nicholas Angel: What do you mean, he doesn't wanna press charges?
Simon Skinner: [suddenly appears and starts offering the cookies that Peter stole to the police staff] I'm simply suggesting that young Peter be given a second chance, before he becomes just another crime statistic. I'm sure he's going to learn a valuable lesson.
Sergeant Tony Fisher: Stealing biscuits is... wrong?
Simon Skinner: [offering him a cookie] Correct.
Sergeant Tony Fisher: [eagerly] Oh, thanks!
Nicholas Angel: And yet we respond by not taking a single punitive measure?
Simon Skinner: [smiling with ill-concealed sarcasm] Well, that's the way the cookie crumbles.
Sergeant Tony Fisher: [chuckles childishly whilst scoffing a cookie] It's like the biscuits, isn't it? [chuckles]
Nicholas Angel: Mr. Skinner--
Frank Butterman: Is everything all right?
Nicholas Angel: Well sir, Mr. Skinner feels that it would be better not to prosecute an individual who has committed a blatant offence.
Frank Butterman: [whilst eating dessert] Leave this with me. I'll make sure everyone gets their just desserts.
Music Cue: Oh no!

DS Andy Wainwright: Murder, murder, murder. Change the ****in' record!

Sergeant Tony Fisher: Must have hit the sign at some speed. Took the whole top off.
PC Doris Thatcher: I've had my top off in this lay-by. Ha ha!
PC Bob Walker: Tits.
Sergeant Tony Fisher: Most likely lost control here, left the road there, and ended up... here.

Inspector Frank Butterman: There's a reason we tolerate a few of the younglings at the pub.

Joyce Cooper: It would appear the heavens have opened.

Met Sergeant: You have to come back. The figures have gone a bit... squiffy in your absence, it has to be said.

Nicholas Angel: I didn't mean to upset the apple cart.
DS Andy Cartwright: [sarcastic] Yeah, cause we all sell apples round here, don't we?
Danny Butterman: Your dad sells apples, Andy.
DC Andy Cartwright: And raspberries.
DS Andy Wainwright: I bet you can't wait to jump into Sergeant Popwell's grave.
Nicholas Angel: I'm not jumping into anyone's grave.
[DC Andy Wainwright drinks some of his beer, leaving a white trail over his large mostache]
Nicholas Angel: You've got a moustache.
DC Andy Wainwright: I know.

Absolute tosh, wasn't it? It's annoying that the understudies are actually professional actors. Greg over there was an extra in 'Straw Dogs' and Sheri portrayed a cadaver in 'Prime Suspect'.

Simon Skinner: [over the walkie talkie] Michael? Michael! Are you there? Micheal! Is everything okay?
Nicholas Angel: [immitating Lurch] Yarp.
Simon Skinner: Sergeant Angel's been taken care of?
Nicholas Angel: Yarp.
Simon Skinner: He's not gonna get back up again?
Nicholas Angel: [nervously] Narp?
Simon Skinner: Good.

DC Andy Wainwright: [after a bottle of bolognaise explodes in his face] It's alright, Andy! It's just bolognaise!