Hercules quotes

63 total quotes (ID: 273)

The Narrator and the Muses

Hermes: Fabulous party. You know, I haven't seen this much love in a room since Narcissus discovered himself.
Calliope: From that day forward, our boy Hercules could do no wrong. He was so hot, steam looked cool.
Thebians: "All we need now is a plague of locusts." (locust croaks) "That's it. I'm moving to Sparta!"
Hermes: Uh, Hephaestus has been captured, my lord. Everyone's been captured. (Pain and Panic grab him) Ah! I've been captured! Hey, watch the glasses.
Boy: Nice goin', Jerk-ules.
Boy: Call I X I I!!!

Hades: Meg, my little flower, my little bird, my little nut Meg. What exactly happened here? I thought you were gonna persuade the River Guardian to join my team for the uprising, and now here I am, kind of River Guardian-less.
Meg: I gave it my best shot, but me made me an offer I had to refuse.

You are correct, sir!

Hades: So you took care of him, huh? Dead as a doornail. Weren't those your exact words?
Pain: This might be a different Hercules.
Panic: Yeah! I mean, Hercules is a very popular name nowadays!
Pain: Remember, like, a few years ago, every other boy was named Jason, and the girls were all named Brittany?!

Hades: Ladies! Hah. I am so sorry that I'm...
Fate 1, Fate 2, Fate 3: Late.
Fate 1: We knew you would be.
Fate 2: We know everything.
Fate 1: Past.
Fate 2: Present.
Fate 3: And future. [aside, to Panic] Indoor plumbing. It's gonna be big.

Zeus: So, Hades, you finally made it. How are things in the underworld?
Hades: Well, they're just fine. You know, a little dark, a little gloomy. And, as always, hey, full of dead people. What are you gonna do?

Narrator: Long ago, in the far away land of ancient Greece, there was a golden age of powerful gods and extrodinay heroes. And the greatest and strongest of all these heroes... was the mighty Hercules. But what is the measure of a true hero? Now that is where our story--
Muse: Would you listen to him?!
Muse 2: He's making the story sound like some Greek tradgedy!
Muse 3: Lighten up, dude!
Muse 4: We'll take it from here, darling.
Narrator: You go, girls.

Hercules: Meg, when I'm with you, I-I don't feel so alone.
Meg: Sometimes it's better to be alone.
Hercules: What do you mean?
Meg: Nobody can hurt you.

Zeus: You ought to slow down. You'll work yourself to death. Hah! Work yourself to death!
[everone laughs]
Zeus: Oh, I kill myself!
Hades: [to himself] If only. If only.

Megara. My friends call me Meg. At least they would if I had any friends. So did they give you a name along with all those rippling pectorals?

Meg: Hercules, look out! [shoves him aside, the pillar falling on top of her]
Hercules: Meg! NOOOOOOO!!!!
[rushes over and begins to lift the pillar off of her, his strength suddenly returning as he holds it over his head] Hercules: What's happening?
Meg: H-hades deal is broken... (gasps in pain)He promised I wouldn't get hurt...
Hercules: [takes Meg into his arms] Meg, why did you...?
Meg: People always do crazy things...(groans)when they're in love.
Hercules: M-Meg... I...
Meg [wryly]: Are you... always this articulate?

Hercules: Aren't you, a damsel in distress?
Meg: I'm a damsel. I'm in distress. I can handle this. Have a nice day.

[Phil is trying to tell Hercules the truth about Meg.] Phil: Kid, listen to me! She's...
Hercules: A dream come true?
Phil: Not exactly.
Hercules: More beautiful than Aphrodite?
Phil: Aside from that.
Hercules: The most wonderful...
Hercules: Stop kidding around, Phil.
Phil: I'm not kiddin' around!
Hercules: I know you're upset about today, but that's no reason to--
Phil: Kid, you're missin' the point!
Hercules: The point is I love her.
Phil: She don't love you!
Hercules: You're crazy.
Phil: She's nothing but a two-timin'...
Hercules: Stop it!
Phil: ... no-good, lyin', schemin'...
Hercules: SHUT UP!!! [Hits Phil]

Meg: Is Wonderboy here for real?
Phil: What are you talkin' about? Of course he's real. Whoa! And by the way, sweet-cheeks, I'm real too.

"It takes more than sinew, comes down to what's in you, you'll have to continue to gro-o-ow! Now that's more like it!..." --One Last Hope