Hercules

Hercules quotes

63 total quotes (ID: 273)

Hades
Hercules
Meg
Other
Phil
The Narrator and the Muses


Megara. My friends call me Meg. At least they would if I had any friends. So did they give you a name along with all those rippling pectorals?


Hercules: Aren't you, a damsel in distress?
Meg: I'm a damsel. I'm in distress. I can handle this. Have a nice day.

Everyone in Greece thinks you're the greatest thing since they put the pocket in pita.

But, Father, I've defeated every single monster I've come up against. I-I'm... I'm the most famous person in all of Greece. I'm... I-I'm an action figure!

Panic: He's not gonna be happy when he gets outta there.
Pain: You mean if he gets out of there.
Panic: If? "If" is good.

Two words: I. Am. Retired! [Hercules finger-counts in confusion]

Panic: Hercules. Why does that name ring a bell?
Pain: I don't know. Um, maybe we owe him money?

And then there was Achilles. Now there was a guy who had it all; the build, the foot-speed. He could jab! He could take a hit! He could keep on comin'! [pause] BUT THAT MESHUGGANEH HEEL OF HIS! He barely gets nicked there once and kaboom! He's history.

Meg, Meg, Meg, my sweet, deluded little minion. Aren't we forgetting one teensy-weensy but ever-so-crucial tiny little detail? I OWN YOU!!

I trained all those would-be heroes. Odysseus, Perseus, Theseus. A lot of "yusses".

[seeing Hercules hiding from fans behind a curtain] Let's see. What could be behind curtain number one?

[heard after the credits end] What d'ya say? It's happy ending time! Everybody's got a little taste of somethin' but me. I got nothin'. I'm - I'm here with nothin'. Anybody listenin'? It's like I'm - What am I, an echo or something? Hello? Hello? Am I talking to, what, hyperspace?! Hello, it's me. Nobody listens.

It's a small underworld, after all, huh?

He's gotta have a weakness, because everybody's got a weakness. I mean, for what? Pandora, it was the box thing. For the Trojans, hey. They bet on the wrong horse, okay?

[about Hercules] He comes on with his big, innocent farm boy routine, but I could see through that in a Peloponnesian minute.