Hercules

Hercules quotes

63 total quotes (ID: 273)

Hades
Hercules
Meg
Other
Phil
The Narrator and the Muses


Hercules: Aren't you, a damsel in distress?
Meg: I'm a damsel. I'm in distress. I can handle this. Have a nice day.


Everyone in Greece thinks you're the greatest thing since they put the pocket in pita.

Megara. My friends call me Meg. At least they would if I had any friends. So did they give you a name along with all those rippling pectorals?

But, Father, I've defeated every single monster I've come up against. I-I'm... I'm the most famous person in all of Greece. I'm... I-I'm an action figure!

Panic: He's not gonna be happy when he gets outta there.
Pain: You mean if he gets out of there.
Panic: If? "If" is good.

Two words: I. Am. Retired! [Hercules finger-counts in confusion]

Panic: Hercules. Why does that name ring a bell?
Pain: I don't know. Um, maybe we owe him money?

Meg, Meg, Meg, my sweet, deluded little minion. Aren't we forgetting one teensy-weensy but ever-so-crucial tiny little detail? I OWN YOU!!

And then there was Achilles. Now there was a guy who had it all; the build, the foot-speed. He could jab! He could take a hit! He could keep on comin'! [pause] BUT THAT MESHUGGANEH HEEL OF HIS! He barely gets nicked there once and kaboom! He's history.

I trained all those would-be heroes. Odysseus, Perseus, Theseus. A lot of "yusses".

[seeing Hercules hiding from fans behind a curtain] Let's see. What could be behind curtain number one?

[heard after the credits end] What d'ya say? It's happy ending time! Everybody's got a little taste of somethin' but me. I got nothin'. I'm - I'm here with nothin'. Anybody listenin'? It's like I'm - What am I, an echo or something? Hello? Hello? Am I talking to, what, hyperspace?! Hello, it's me. Nobody listens.

It's a small underworld, after all, huh?

He's gotta have a weakness, because everybody's got a weakness. I mean, for what? Pandora, it was the box thing. For the Trojans, hey. They bet on the wrong horse, okay?

Rein it in, rookie. You can get away with mistakes like those in the minor decathalons, but this is the big leagues!