Good Burger

Good Burger quotes

58 total quotes (ID: 244)

Dexter
Ed
Kurt
Mr. Wheat
Other


Customer: (motioning to Ed) Excuse me! Look, I ordered one Good Burger with nothing on it!
Ed: That's what I gave you.
Customer: No, you gave me a bun. Just a bun. Look there's no meat in here.
Ed: But you said you wanted nothing on it.
Customer: Yes, but I expected a meat patty!
Ed: Dude, a meat patty is something. You said nothing. Fizz, is a meat patty something or nothing?
Fizz: Uh, something?
Ed: (raises arm in the air) I win!
Customer: All right, that rips it! I am reporting your name to the manager!
Ed: The manager already knows my name.
Customer: Oh, I'll see you in Hell.
Ed: Okay, see ya there!



Dexter: Hey, you look familiar. Don't I know you from somewhere?
Ed: Ever been to Australia?
Dexter: No.
Ed: Me neither.
Dexter: I've could've sworn I've seen you someplace before.
Ed: Hey, I know! Maybe I'm someone famous! You know, like a baseball player or a pretty nurse!
Dexter: What? Man, what in the world are you talking about?
Ed: Okay, okay. I give up. Who am I?
Dexter: Man, I don't know who you are. Or where I know you from. Or why you think you're an attractive nurse, but I am sure I don't wanna know you any longer. Now, please go away, I've had a very bad day.


I'm going to have lunch at Mondo Burger. Home of the big booty burger

Attendent: (off screen, after Ed has released a deranged man from his straight jacket) Goodness gracious! He's killing Sydney!

Dexter: (about Monique) How can I not like her? She smart, fun, beautiful and cuddly.
Ed: Then just ask her out.
Dexter: Naw.
Ed: What, you're chicken?
Dexter: I'm not a chicken!
Ed: Are too! Dexter's a chicken! Moo! Moo!
Dexter: CHICKENS! (quieter) Chickens don't moo Ed. They cluck. (Imitates chicken sound)
Ed (later in the scene): Moo.


(while in the shake machine) Whoo! Strawberry jacuzzi!

Dexter: So, Monique. What are you going to do tonight after you lock up?
Monique: I thought I'd go home.
Dexter: Home? Why?
Monique: Well... that's where my stuff is.


Dexter: So you poured that stuff in the meat didn't you?
Ed: I had to.
Dexter: You had to?
Ed: Sure. See, I knew that if I took the can, there was a good chance I'd get caught. Then I thought that even if I did take the triambythal to the proper authorities, Kurt would hire some high-powered attorney who dispute any charges brought against him or Mondo Burger, by manipulating the legal system. And the way that America's court system is congested these days, It would have taken months to convict him of anything. So then I thought, I just take the matter into my own hands and pour the triambythal into the meat supply and let Mondo Burger be a victim of its own foul play.
Dexter: Wait-wait-wait...You thought of all that?
Ed: Sure, I'm not stupid.


Dexter: Man, I can't believe Kurt fired me from Mondo Burger. I mean, he yelled at me, then he insulted me. He made fun of me. (looks downcast)
Ed: Boy, you must really suck.
Dexter: See right about now I'd slap you in your head but I'm not sure if your brain would understand the concept of pain.


Kurt: You mess with Kurt and you go into the grinder.
Dexter: Okay, now this grinder of yours, is it a real grinder or is it some kind of a methaphor or something?
Kurt: That's it you're gone! Adios, TKO, historical!
Dexter: Wait, wait, wait. I won't be funny no more.
Kurt: Security!
(Security storms into the room)
Dexter: Wait! You ain't gotta bring the man down here! Kurt, come on, please! I need this job!
Kurt: Take out the trash!
Dexter: (offended) 'Trash?' Okay, now lookee here-
(Guards grab Dexter)
Kurt: Get this loser out of my face!
Dexter: 'Loser?!' Oh, now you're about to push me a little too far!
Kurt: You want a piece of me?
Dexter: Yeah! Extra crispy please!


Fizz: My name's never been abbreviated before. I love that!

Otis: (after eating a fry with Ed's sauce on it) It makes me glad I'm not dead!

Guards at asylum: Hey! Ho! Hey! Ho!

Otis: Can you get me to a hospital? I think I broke my ass.

Dexter: Hello. My name is Dexter. I'm your new co-worker.
Monique: (slightly irritated) Monique.
Dexter: Well, that's a nice outfit you got on there, Monique. And those stripes really bring out the color in your eyes.
Monique: (sarcastically) Yes. You can imagine how shocked I was when I came to work and saw everyone wearing the same thing.
Dexter: (laughs uneasily) Okay. I guess I'll see you later then.
Monique: I guess you will. (walks off)