Fat Albert quotes

View Quote Store Clerk: I know big, and you my friend are big.

View Quote Danielle: He better not be doing this again!

View Quote Old Man: You go out there and you'll poke your eye out!
Russell: Why do adults always say you'll poke your eye out?

View Quote Fat Albert: (concerned) That girl has a problem.
Doris: What problem?
Fat Albert: You must have a problem, you were cryin'.
Doris: Problem...right...Um,um, uh, I was crying because I lost my, um (looks around for something, spots backpack) my backpack!
Rudy: (pointing at backpack) Is that it?
Doris: (feigning surprise) Oh! You found my backpack!

View Quote Doris: (turns around and sees the Gang) Aah! Don't you guys make noise when you enter a room.
Fat Albert: Well, I never thought about that. We-we just enter. (shrugs shoulders)
Doris: Okay, here are your drinks. (places sodas on table, each takes can)
Rudy: Do you have a can opener?
Doris: The can opener's on the can.
(Albert pops top)
Gang: Ooh...
(Rudy pops top)
Gang: Aah...
(Each member begins to pop top rhythmically. They begin humming the Fat Albert Theme.)
Gang: (singing) Na, na ,na. Gonna have a good time (Fat Albert: Hey, hey hey!). Na, na, na. Gonna have a good time.
Doris: Stop! Stop! Hello? What are you doing?
Bill: Singin'.
Doris: I know you're singing, but aren't you gonna drink?
Fat Albert: Not unless somebody writes that we're thirsty.
Doris: Okay, forget the drinks.

View Quote Doris: Ooh! Cody, can I ask you a question? Do you see anyone?
Cody: I see you.
Doris: Anyone else?
(Fat Albert and Gang waves)
Cody: I see a bunch of bizarre-looking freaks.

View Quote Guy in Class: What's that on your head?
Dumb Donald: It's my hat.
Guy in Class: Why don't you take it off?
Dumb Donald: I have no face.
Guy in Class: Right. (grabs backpack and moves)

View Quote (Doris comes down the stairs dressed for the party.)
Rudy: Wow.
Bill: Doris, you look great.
Dumb Donald: You look tight.
Fat Albert: What'd you just say?
Dumb Donald: I learned it at the mall.
Fat Albert: Oh. Well, don't talk that way about Doris.
Doris: You-you really think I look okay?
Rudy: When you walk into the party, people are gonna notice.
Doris: Yeah?
Gang: (dazed) Yeah...

View Quote Store Clerk: That'll be $10,428.22.
Fat Albert: Uh, I-I don't have any money.
Store Clerk : Why didn't you tell me that?
Fat Albert: You didn't ask.

View Quote (Trying to convince Doris to go to the party.)
Fat Albert: You want us to go back in the T.V., don't ya?
Doris: Are you threatening me?
Fat Albert: Is it working?

View Quote (The Gang is looking at a poster of their T.V. series. It reads: "FAT ALBERT and the Cosby Kids OWN THE COMPLETE COLLECTION ON DVD")
Bill: See. That's who we are.
Rudy: Yeah. And we're coming out on "divda."

View Quote (Lauri and Fat Albert are dancing together)
Reggie: I know what Lauri's doin'. She's just dancing with him to make me jealous.
Arthur: (agreeing) Yeah.
Reggie: Yeah.
Arthur: Yeah?
Reggie: (angrily) Yeah!

View Quote Reggie: You wanna race me, beefy boy?
Rudy: You don't wanna race Fat Albert.
Reggie: "Fat Albert?" (he and Arthur laughs)
Dumb Donald: Yeah, he's fat, but he's fast.
Mush Mouth: Fabby but fabba.
(Reggie stares at Mush mouth, who then mumbles more)
Reggie: Okay...

Fat Albert: Okay. I'll race you, but I can't take my clothes off.
Reggie: Great. 'Cause nobody wants to see all that blubber anyways.

View Quote Mush Mouth: (refering to Lauri) Oh, boy. That be some nice budda-bup.
Weird Hal: You watch your mouth!

View Quote Mrs. Forchik: Doris says that you're visiting. Where is it that you live?
Fat Albert: North Philly.
(Class laughs)
Fat Albert: Is that funny?
Mrs. Forchik: Yes. It is. Considering the fact that you're in North Philadelphia and therefore are visiting North Philadelphia from North Philadelphia.
Fat Albert: Hmm...