Death to Smoochy

Death to Smoochy quotes

33 total quotes (ID: 829)

Rainbow Randolph
Sheldon Mopes/Smoochy

You can't change the world but you can make a dent.

Someone toss me a beach towel because my head is swimming.

Don't talk to me like that. I am not your puppet.

Let's face it. Big junkies come from little junkies. We gotta nip this in the bud, Burke!

There are a lot of kids and a lot of junkies out there who are counting on me.

Angelo Pike: He was jacked up higher than a prom dress in June.

Tommy Kotter: [at a funeral] It's a shame this happened. Okay, now let's go pray and get shit-faced.

Nora Wells: You're here to sell sugar and plastic.

Randolph: You want your little booger eater on my show?
Wife: Yes, very much.
Randolph: Then don't tell me how to run my ****ing business.

Sheldon: I'll be in my office, the big one with a view!
Nora: They all have views, you dumb shit!
Sheldon: Not looking this way, cupcake!

Sheldon: So remember kids, a step-dad is a lot like a new puppy. They need patience and love while they adjust to their new surroundings. But remember - if he is ever abusive to you or mommy, what are the magic numbers?
Kids: 9-1-1!
Sheldon: Thaaaaaaat's right!

[Randolph mentions his long-ago affair with Nora]
Nora: That was a long time ago. I was young and stupid.
Randolph: And limber.

Cop: Are you okay?
Randolph: I don't know. I'm kinda ****ed up in general, so it's hard to gauge.

[Merv gets kidnapped by the mob]
Merv Green: It was a mistake! An honest mistake! I only did it to help the children!
Tommy Kotter: You like kids, eh?
Merv Green: Yes!
Tommy Kotter: You like fairy tales, then?
Merv Green: Yeah!
Tommy Kotter: Jimmy, tell him the one about the worthless prick that got his head chopped off with an axe.

Tommy Kotter: Roy, have you got the hammer?
Roy: Always got the hammer, Tommy.