Death to Smoochy

Death to Smoochy quotes

33 total quotes (ID: 829)

Rainbow Randolph
Sheldon Mopes/Smoochy

[Smoochy holds up a penis-shaped cookie made by Randolph] What are you, blind? It's a ****! It's not a rocket, you sick ****! It's a ****! Look. It's a **** and balls! A dick! Chorizo and the huevos! It's a big stiffy! It's a penis! Penis maximus! A willie! A weenie! Mr. Jiggle Daddy! The one-eyed wonder weasel! Don't you see that? It's Jimmy and the twins. Rumple Foreskin. He made this. It's made from dil-dough.

Bastard son of Barney! Die! Die, stuffed ball of fluff! Illegitimate Teletubbie! Die, you Muppet from hell! Die, you foam mother****er!

That fuschia ****! I'm gonna tear him apart, piece by piece!

Even when you're squeaky clean, you can still fall in the mud.

You better grow eyes in the back of your head, you horned piece of shit, because I'm not gonna sleep until worms are crawling up your foam-rubber ass! I'm goin' on safari, mother****er! SAH-FAR-I! [makes a rhino noise]

[to a baby, after framing Sheldon] Hello, little nipple-nibbler. The rhino's a Nazi!

[after getting egged] I've been shot! I'm bleeding! Salmonella! You're a lawyer! That's salmonella!

[after being assaulted by Tommy and her henchmen] All right, that's it, you bloodsucking freaks! I'm suing your Riverdance act! Have you all shipped back home, eh?!

[to Sheldon] Bite me, Buddha!

[to Sheldon] Do not start with your magician's tricks, young Moses! I am Pharaoh! And you are my slave...and this is my kingdom!

[As Randolph and Buggy are dangling from a ceiling catwalk] Let go of me you ****ING JUNKIE!

When my brothers and I played cowboys and Indians, I was always the Chinese railroad worker.

[singing] He slams the door, He stomps his feet, He sends me to bed with zilch to eat. But my step-dad's not mean, he's just adjusting.

Captain Kangaroo, like Jesus Christ, was someone you could really believe in. With those guys, it wasn't about the bells and whistles and the rickety-rackety; it was all about the work. Especially Jesus.

Now I'm not pointing any fingers, Lord knows you start pointing fingers and someone's gonna get poked. And I want you both to know that its not my intention to try and...poke either of you.