Charlie and the Chocolate Factory quotes

View Quote Willy Wonka: Here, try some of this. It'll do you good. You look starved to death.
Charlie Bucket: [Drinks some of the chocolate] It's great.
Willy Wonka: That's because it's mixed by waterfall. The waterfall is most important. It mixes the chocolate. Makes it light and frothy. By the way, no other factory in the world mixes-
Veruca Salt: [interrupts] You already said that.
Willy Wonka: You're all quite short, aren't you?
Violet Beauregarde: Well, yeah. We're children.
Willy Wonka: Well, that's no excuse. I was never as short as you.
Mike Teavee: You were once.
Willy Wonka: Was not! Know why? Because I distinctly remember putting a hat on top of my head. Look at your short little arms. You could never reach.

View Quote Dr. Wilbur Wonka: Caramels. They get stuck in your braces, wouldn't they? Lollipops. What we call "caivities on a stick"! And all this... all this... chocolate! You know, just last week, I was reading in a very important medical journal that some children are allergic to chocolate... makes their noses itch.
Little Willy Wonka: Maybe I'm not allergic. I could try a piece.
Dr. Wilbur Wonka: Really? But why take a chance? [burns the candy his son brought home]

View Quote Charlie Bucket: We're heading for a tunnel.
Willy Wonka: Oh yeah. Full speed ahead.

View Quote Mrs. Beauregarde: What do you use Hair Cream for?
Willy Wonka: To lock in moisture, haha. [primps his hair]

View Quote Willy Wonka: [about the three-course-dinner chewing gum] I've tried it on like twenty Oompa-Loompas and each one ended up as a blueberry. It's just weird!
Mrs. Beauregarde: [after Violet has turned into a blueberry] But, I can't have a blueberry for a daughter. How is she supposed to compete?
Veruca Salt: You could put her in a county fair.
[Mrs. Beauregarde looks at Veruca viciously]

View Quote Mike Teavee: What's the special prize and who gets it?
Willy Wonka: The best kind of prize is a sur-prize! Haha.
Veruca Salt: Will Violet always be a blueberry?
Willy Wonka: No... maybe... I dont know. But that's what you get for chewing gum all day, it's just disgusting.
Mike Teavee: If you hate gum so much, why do you make it?
Willy Wonka: Once again, you really shouldn't mumble because it's kinda starting to bum me out.

View Quote Mr. Salt: [sees the Nut Sorting Room] Ah, here's a room I know all about. You see, I myself am in the nut business. [gives Wonka his business card. Wonka flings it away without looking at it] Do you use the Hammermax 4000 to do your sorting?
Willy Wonka: No. Haha. You're really weird.

View Quote Veruca Salt: Daddy, I want a squirrel. Get me one of those squirrels, I want one!
Mr. Salt: Veruca dear, you have many marvelous pets.
Veruca Salt: All I've got at home is one pony and two dogs and four cats and six bunny rabbits and two parakeets and three canaries and a green parrot and a turtle, and a silly old hamster! I WANT a SQUIRREL!
Mr. Salt: All right, pet. Daddy will get you a squirrel just as soon as he possibly can.
Veruca Salt: But I don't want any old squirrel! I want a trained squirrel!
Mr. Salt: [wearily] Very well. Mr. Wonka, how much do you want for one of those squirrels. Name your price.
[Veruca smiles]
Willy Wonka: Oh they're not for sale. She can't have one.
Veruca Salt: [her smile drops to an angry expression] Daddy!
Willy Wonka: [imitating Mr. Salt] I'm sorry, darling. Mr. Wonka's being unreasonable.
Veruca Salt: If you won't get me a squirrel, I'll get one myself!

View Quote Mr. Salt: [asking about the squirrels taking Veruca] Where are they taking her?
Willy Wonka: Where all the other bad nuts go. Down the garbage chute.
Mr. Salt: Where does the chute go!?
Willy Wonka: To the incinerator. But don't worry, we only light it on Tuesdays.
Mike Teavee: Today IS Tuesday.
Willy Wonka: Well, there's always a chance they decided not to light it today...

View Quote Mike Teavee: Why is everything here completely pointless?
Charlie Bucket: Candy doesn't have to have a point. That's why it's candy.
Mike Teavee: It's stupid! [Dr. Wilbur Wonka voice-over] "Candy is a waste of time!"
Dr. Wilbur Wonka: No son of mine is going to be a chocolatier!
Little Willy Wonka: Then I'll run away! To Switzerland, Bavaria! The candy capitals of the world!
Dr. Wilbur Wonka: Go ahead. But I won't be here when you come back!

View Quote Mike Teavee: You don't understand anything about science. First off, there's a difference between waves and particles. DUH!!! Second, the amount of energy it would take to convert energy into matter would be like nine atomic bombs.
Willy Wonka: MUMBLER!!! Seriously. I cannot understand a single word you're saying.

View Quote Willy Wonka: Oh thank Heaven, he's completly unharmed.
Mr. Teavee: Unharmed!? What are you talking about!?
Mike Teavee: Just put me back in the other way!
Willy Wonka: There is no other way, it's teleVISION not telePHONE, there's quite a difference.
Mr. Teavee: Then what exactly do you propose to do about it?
Willy Wonka: I don't know, but young men are extremely springy, they stretch like mad... [gasps] Let's go put him in the taffy puller!
Mr. Teavee: [horrified] Taffy puller!?
Willy Wonka: Hey! That was my idea! Boy, is he gonna be skinny.

View Quote Mrs. Gloop: Augustus, please don't eat your fingers!
Augustus Gloop: But I taste so good.

View Quote Violet Beauregarde: [after stretching into a pretzel shape] Look mother, I'm much more flexible now.
Mrs. Beauregarde: [disapprovingly] Yes, but you're blue.

View Quote Veruca Salt: Daddy! I want a flying glass elevator!
Mr. Salt: [sternly] Veruca, the only thing you're going to get today is a bath, and that's final!
Veruca Salt: [looks at her father angrily] But I WANT it!
[Her father looks angrily back at Veruca]