The Boondock Saints quotes

View Quote [Picking out weapons and gear]
Connor: You know what we need, man? Some rope.
Murphy: Absolutely. What are you, insane?
Connor: No I ain't insane, Charlie Bronson's always got a rope.
Murphy: Whaaaat?
Connor: Yeah, he's always got a lot of rope strapped around him in the movies, and they always end up using it.
Murphy: You've lost it, haven't you?
Connor: No, I'm serious.
Murphy: That's stupid. Name one thing you'd need a rope for.
Connor: You don't ****in' know what you're gonna need it for, they just always need it.
Murphy: What's this 'they' shit? This isn't a movie.
Connor: [picks up a large knife from Murphy's bag] Oh...Is that right, Rambo?
Murphy: All right, get your stupid ****ing rope.
Connor: I'll get my stupid rope. I'll get it. There's a rope right there!
LATER Murphy: Ah, **** you! I'm not the rope-totin'-Charlie-Bronson-wannabe who's gettin' us ****in' lost!
(After falling through a vent in the cieling tied to the rope and killing nine men) Connor (Mocking Murphy) Well, name one thing you're going to need the stupid ****ing rope for.

View Quote Donna: Where's my cat?
Rocco: I killed your cat you druggie bitch.
Donna: What? Why?
Rocco: Because I felt it would bring closure to our relationship.
Donna: You killed my... my...
Rocco: Your what!? Your ****ing what bitch. God dammit I'll shoot myself in the head if you can tell me that cat's name. Go ahead. Your what!? Your precious little...
Donna: Skip... Skippy! Skippy!
Rocco: Aww...Jesus! what color was it bitch?!
Rayvie: Hey, don't ****ing yell at her like that!
Rocco: SHUT YOUR FAT ASS, RAYVIE! I can't go and buy a pack of smokes without running into NINE GUYS YOU'VE ****ED!

View Quote Det. Dolly: So, what's the symbology there?
Paul Smecker: Symbology? Now that Duffy's relinquished his "King Bonehead" crown, I see we have an heir to the throne. I'm sure the word you were looking for was "symbolism". What is the ssssymbolism there? Let me explain it to you. In Greek and Roman mythology, when you died, you would have to pay the toll to Charon, the boatman who ferried you across to the gates of judgment. This made sure the dead came to atone for what they did during their lives, Detective Dollypoposkallius.
Det. Dolly: Jesus, you're the first one that ever got that!
Paul Smecker: Yeah, well, I'm an expert in ... nameology!

View Quote Monsignor: And I am reminded on this holy day of the sad story of Kitty Genovese. As you all may remember, long time ago almost 30 years ago. This poor soul cried out for help time and time again, but no person answered their calls. Though many saw, no one so much as called the police. They all just watched as Kitty was being stabbed to death in broad daylight. They watched as her assailant walked away. Now, we must all fear evil men, but there is another kind of evil, which we must fear most, and that is, the indifference of good men.

View Quote Doc: You know what they say: People in glass houses sink sh... sh... sh... ships.
Rocco: I got to buy you like a proverb book or something, because this mix 'n' match shit's gotta go.
Doc: What?
Connor: Well, a penny saved is worth two in the bush, isn't it?
Murphy: And don't cross the road if you can't get out of the kitchen.

View Quote When I whet my flashing sword, and my hand takes hold in judgment, I will take vengeance upon mine enemies, and I will repay those who haze me. Oh Lord, raise me to Thy right hand and count me among Thy saints.

View Quote Yakavetta: I'm having a shitty day. I'm depressed. Tell me a funny joke.
Rocco: Uh, OK. There's these three guys walking on the beach, a sp*c, a white guy, and a black guy.
Yakavetta: ****!
Rocco: Yeah, right. So they find this pot, rub it, and a genie comes out. The genie says you can wish for whatever you want. So he asks the Mexican what he wants, and he says "I want all my people in America to be happy and free, and in Mexico." So the genie goes poof. It's done. Then he says to the black guy...
Vincenzo Lipazzi: ****.
Rocco: Yeah, right, he says to the **** "What do you want?" And the **** says "I want all my **** brothers to be back in Africa, and happy and free and everything." So the genie goes poof. And they're all back in Africa. So... I'm not funny today, really, this joke sucks, I know...
Yakavetta: Continue the joke.
Rocco: Uh, so he says to the white guy, "What's your one wish?" And the white guy says, "Wait, you mean to tell me that all the sp*cs and ****s are out of America?" The genie goes yeah, and the white guy says, uh, "I'll have a Coke, then."
[Pause, followed by uproarious laughter]
Yakavetta: (Repeats the punchline) I'll have a coke
Yakavetta: Tell me another one.
Rocco:What?!

View Quote On the wall while in the weapon room: While the wicked stand confounded, Call me with thy saints surrounded.

View Quote Deleted Scene:
Mom Calls From Ireland
(phone rings, and Connor answers it)
Connor: Hello.
Mom: Connor, izzat you?
Connor: Mother, is that you?
Mom: Is that worthless brother of yours there? I want ya both to hear this.
Murphy: There's no ****ing hot water, man.
Connor: Shut it, it's Ma.
Mom: It's all your fault. Both o' ya little bas****. I was a fool to believe you'd give me any peace. The day your da left us, when you were almost too young to remember, he said the two of ya would do me right and make me proud. Well, he was wrong...and I got nothing to live for!
Connor: What are you saying? You're talking crazy here!
Murphy: What's the problem?
Mom: I finally found your da's old army revolver, Connor.
Connor: Look, Ma, what are you doing with Da's gun?
Murphy: Da's gun, what the ****?
Mom: I got it to me head now.
Connor: What the hell are you doing?
Murphy: What the ****??? (motions to Connor to tell him what's going on on the phone)
Mom: I wanna tell you one last thing before I pull the trigger.
Connor: Pull the trigger?!?! Have you lost it woman?!?! Now get ahold of yourself!!
Murphy: (runs and grabs pants) No, Ma, wait!
Connor: Listen to Connor now, I'm talking some sense into ya!!! Listen to me!!!
Murphy: Ma!! Ma!! Ma!!
Mom: I BLAME YOU!!!!!
Connor and Murphy: No! Ma! Jesus Christ, Ma! Don't ****ing pull it!! I swear to ****ing God!! Jesus Christ, Ma-
(Mom steps outside with gun and shoots it in the air, Connor drops phone)
Connor and Murphy: (scrambling after phone) Jesus ****ing Christ!! MA!! MA?!?! MA?? MA??? MA?!?!
Mom: giggles muffledly, then busts out laughing and coughing
Murphy: Christ, Ma, that was a good one.
Connor: Evil woman.
Mom: Oh, Jesus!! No, Ma, no!! Christ, Ma, no!!!
Murphy: She's quite proud of herself.
Connor: Well of course she is!
Mom: Okay, seriously I want you both to listen to me now.
Murphy: We're both here, Ma.
Connor: What is it? We're here.
Mom: It's only 11 here boys, so I got lots more drinking to do with your worthless relatives down at the Anvil.
Murphy: Just called to torture us, did ya?
Connor: Ma, how's Uncle Civial?
Mom: Well, you know how it is with him. Always complainin' he's never turning a profit on St. Patty's. Whole damn family goes down there with no money 'cause we know he can't bear to charge us. But he's been having a drink or two himself. Been up the waitress's skirt all night, poor girl.
Connor: Well, that's Uncle Civial for ya.
Murphy: You tell him to take it easy with that, Ma. He's gotta learn to respect women, the way Connor does.
Connor: Oh, Jesus.
Murphy: I gave him his first lesson in sensitivity just today, actually.
Connor: Oh, Christ, don't even say it, you little bastard!
Murphy: He got beat up by a girl.
Connor: Oh, if that was a girl, I wanna see some papers. Ma, she had to be just pre-operative, for Christ ****ing sake!
Mom: Lord's ****ing name!
Connor and Murphy: Hail Mary, full of Grace...
Mom: What'd ya do, Connor?
Connor: I tried to make friends, didn't I, and she gave me a shot to the nuts!!
Mom: Why...That dirty bitch! Well, I hope you trounced her a good one!
Connor: Well, dirty bitch is right, ya know, I did-
Murphy: Don't you worry, Ma, I respected the hell out of her for ya.
Connor: Oh, Macho Murph, ya.
Mom: Well, listen. I know how my boys take to scrappin' when they take to drinkin'.
Murphy: Yes, Mother.
Mom: I mean it now. I carried the two of ya little bas**** around in my belly at the same time, ya ungrateful piss-ants! You ruined my girlish figure in one fell swoop, and then ya sucked me dry. My tits are hanging down to my ankles! I'm trippin' over them for Christ's sakes so you listen to me. No fightin'.
Connor: Yes, Mother.
Mom: Promise me, boys.
Murphy: We promise.
Connor: We promise, Mother.
Mom: Well, there's my boys. Oh shit! Gotta go. Looks like I caused a ruckus with that shot, half the damn neighborhood's coming.
Murphy: Alright. Love ya, Ma. Hey, listen, before you go, just give us the goods, huh, Ma? Please?
Connor: Hey come on now, Ma, it's been 27 years.
Mom: Ah, still bickerin' over that, huh?
Connor: Well, of course we are, now out with it. Come on, now, tell us: who came out first?
Mom: Alright. I suppose ya have the right to know. Are ya ready?
Connor: Go on!!
Murphy: Yeah!
Mom: The one with the bigger ****. (erupts into laughter and hangs up the phone)
Connor: What? What the **** is that? That's your ****ing mother talking like that!
Murphy: That's your ****ing mother.
Connor: ****in' hell!
(Murphy looks at the naked Connor walking off to get his beer and grins)
Connor: (looks down) Don't even ****in' start. I've had ice on mine, alright? ****.

View Quote Connor: How far are we going to take this, Da?
Il Duce: The question is not how far. The question is, do you possess the constitution, the depth of faith, to go as far as is needed?

View Quote And whosoever shed man's blood, by man shall his blood be shed, for in the image of God made He man. Destroy all that which is evil. So that which is good may flourish. And I shall count thee amoung my favoured sheep. And you shall have the protection of all the angels in heaven

View Quote This was a ****in bomb droppin on Beaver Cleaverville. For a few seconds, this place was armageddon. There was a firefight!

View Quote "Symbology"? Well, now that Duffy's relinquished his King Bonehead crown, I see we have a new heir to the throne. The word I believe you're looking for is "symbolism".

View Quote Doc: Why don't you make like a tree, and get the **** outta here?

View Quote Rule of thumb? Can't do much damage with that thing, can we. Perhaps it should have been the rule of wrist.