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Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me

Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me quotes

52 total quotes

Austin Powers
Deleted Scenes
Doctor Evil
Fat Bastard




View Quote The 70s and the 80s? You're not missing anything! I looked into it. There's a gas shortage and a flock of seagulls. That's about it!
View Quote Crikey! I've lost my mojo!
View Quote I can't believe Vanessa, my bride, my one true love, the woman who taught me the beauty of monogamy, was a fembot... all along. Wait a tick. That means I'm single again! Oh, behave! (laughs and claps with the fembot hand, then throws it away) YEAH!
View Quote Fire the laser!
View Quote The world is mine! The world is mine, ya (bleep)!
View Quote I've turned the moon into what I like to call a "Death Star".
View Quote Why make trillions when we can make billions?
View Quote [to Scott] You're quasi-evil. You're semi-evil. You're the margarine of evil. You're the Diet Coke of evil. Just one calorie, not evil enough.
View Quote (Spinning out of control on his chair) All I asked for was a fricking rotating chair, OK?! Okay, getting a little afraid. I need an old priest and a young priest. The power of Christ compels you! The power of Christ compels you! Whoa, hello! Okay, sick as a dog now. (spits) Okay. Gonna vom...
View Quote [To Felicity] Of course I'm not happy! Look at me, I'm a big fat slob! I've got bigger titties than you do! I've got more chins than a Chinese phone book! I've not seen my willy in two years, which is long enough to declare it legally dead! [On the verge of tears] I can't stop eating. I eat because I'm unhappy, and I'm unhappy because I eat. It's a vicious cycle. Now, if you'll excuse me, there's someone I'd like to get in touch with and forgive...myself. [Farts] Sorry. I farted.
View Quote Get in my belly!
View Quote [To Mini-Me] Come here! I'm bigger than you, I'm higher in the food chain! Get in my belly!
View Quote (After Felicity has kicked him in the genitals) Oh-h-h-h-h-h-h-h! Right in the Mummy-Daddy button!
View Quote Austin: ("Vanessa" tries choking him) Vanessa! You're a fembot!
Vanessa: No shit, Sherlock! (throws Austin aside and releases machine guns in breasts)
Austin: Machine gun jubblies? How did I miss those, baby?
Vanessa: Perhaps next time you should try foreplay.
Austin: Right. (to himself) Oh, my God!
("Vanessa" shoots her machine guns to Austin and stops firing as Austin uses the white flag to surrender)
Dr. Evil's voice: Here's your wedding present, Mr. Powers. A kamikaze bride from me: Dr. Evil. (countdown reaches zero. Head explodes, destroying bits of the hotel room)
Austin: (unharmed, checks to see if his crotch is intact) Oh, thank God.
View Quote Ivana: Ivana. Ivana Humpalot.
Austin: Excuse me?
Ivana: Ivana Humpalot.
Austin: And Ivana Toilet-Seat-Made-Out-Of-Solid-Gold, but its just not in the cards now, is it? [laughs]